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Men giving women compliments

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  • Well, Bro, did you go to dance & yoga because YOU enjoy it, or with the thought of meeting someone? Get out & do the things you like to do, not the things you think will yield the best opportunities to meet a girl.

    I empathize - I really do, and I hope my comments aren't feeling like a criticism of you, a lecture or harsh toward your efforts.

    I'm 41, divorced & trying to get back in the social scene & dating isn't easy. My social network was gone when the divorce happened, so after 2 years now, I'm really ready to get my life back & meet people & eventually meet that "someone", and I'm taking steps to put myself out there again.
    I've been online dating for quite awhile, on & off. You're right - it's difficult, challenging & not the ideal circumstance. But just have fun with it, and expect nothing more from it. I've gone on many dates, had lots of laughs & been left shaking my head & grimacing on many occasions, but it's just fun, and I expect little more from it. I've made some friends through it...it's just a tool for meeting people, that's all.
    I've been trying to get involved with a Bicycling club in my area, and now that weather is warmer, I'll be showing up at some of the old stomping grounds from 15 years ago, hoping to get picked up for a volleyball sub or softball sub. These are things I love. I've also found a tennis court that has open play for beginners, which is something I've always wanted to learn. My objective isn't necessarily to get eyed by my next husband, but I'm getting some fulfillment back into my life & doing what I enjoy. Chances are increased that I'll meet lots more men & women, of course, and make new friends. But I'm doing it for me first. It's true I want to meet someone again, but that's not my sole reason for getting back into fun activities.

    You're young & have so many possibilities. What are some things you enjoy? What are some things you do outside of work that are fun? Hobbies?

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    • Something Awesome - Yeah, that's what I mean, they'd rather hang out with each other rather than their friends, which is why I hardly see them.

      Kitty - To be honest I did the dance class because I was in the mood to try something new. I do Yoga, as I suffer from Crohn's Disease and it's meant to be good for my health. I don't love or hate yoga, its ok. My hobbies are the same as everyone else. I enjoy going cinema, going out for drinks and playing football. I'm a sporty person, but I don't bother with many sports due to my health condition...Long story short about Crohn's I go to the toilet a lot more than you're average person. However I probably will give online dating another go...I've got nothing to lose...but time :/. Again Kitty I do appreciate the advice and with you the best of luck in you're news clubs you're joining

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      • Have you joined a crohns support group?

        Glad you did those things for your own enjoyment

        I think online is a great tool for meeting people but it isn't the only one. So, I think you're right to keep that option there but just not focusing on it too much.

        Yes, I hit the tennis court for an hour or so yesterday, and hope to get there tomorrow before work!

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        • Have you tried joining a local activity group? There are groups for almost anything these days. I was on meetup and joined a board game group. Yup, there are people who want to meet just to play board games. There was a single under 40 hiking group. Gay singles with dog hiking group. I mean, there really is a group for anything. And if you approach someone and start talking at these groups, it's cool. In a way, it's expected. Randomly approaching somebody like you did is a bit awkward. I'll be totally vain, but unless you have the body of a Greek god, are dressed to impress and have a sexy foreign accent, most women (including my younger self), would be weirded out. But when you are at these group events, most people don't know each other and if you have a good group leader, they will introduce everybody. You can easily approach a woman and give her a compliment. "I really like your hiking shoes. Where did you get them." Nice neutral conversation starter.
          Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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          • Kitty - No, I haven't. I'd rather not too to be honest. I joined Forums online to talk to people about it, and everytime I talk about a symptom when I'm feeling ill or something, everyone goes to me "Oh, sounds like you need surgery" where I can tell in my own body, I'm just having a bad day, where a bit of rest and change in my diet can work wonders. I'm usually a glass half full kind of person, I don't like to think of what's the worst that can happen, as I think it's a poor outlook on life if you always worry what can go wrong. You're right about the online thing though, don't spend all day on it, but just a look here and there may be the way. Good job on the Tennis, hope it goes well for you .

            SP - I think I've looked on meetup before. It seems like a great idea, but I don't think it does much for where I am from. I'm based in the UK and it seems like a website more for people in America at the minute. Hopefully they'll get something similar over here one day, but I'll have to wait and see.

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            • Ah, I didn't realize you're in Europe. Yes, very different cultural expectations & social setting there, than here, but it sounds like you're on the right track.
              Not surprised your experience was less than ideal w/the support group. Seems those often turn into less productive discussions than intended.

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              • Originally posted by bro21 View Post
                SP - I think I've looked on meetup before. It seems like a great idea, but I don't think it does much for where I am from. I'm based in the UK and it seems like a website more for people in America at the minute. Hopefully they'll get something similar over here one day, but I'll have to wait and see.
                There should be other groups in your area. Craigs list is popular here. Also the Sierra club always has a local group that does hikes and trips. College/University alum groups. Our local library has a knitting club, anime club, book club, etc. You just have to look. My friend met her husband at a language table. She looked up the local newspaper that mentioned a language table. It was basically a bunch of people who would meet at a cafe, drink coffee and chat with each other in a specific language. You just have to look.
                Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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                • It depends really. Most of the time I don't find it annoying (especially with women) but there are guys who use that to start a conversation. And I rely on the genuine feeling/sincerity of the person. Don't rely on the movies

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                  • I'm comfortable with receiving compliments, as long as they're respectful. I don't get annoyed by it.
                    "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

                    Comment

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