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I told him I have herpes, now what?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by ThisOneThought View Post
    I agree with what you said about giving him more time. I probably made a mistake by just calling it quits between us. And you know, you are right. I should start developing a thicker skin about it. But this was my first time to go about doing things the right way, I had such a fear of rejection, such a fear of losing something great...I guess it somehow developed into this notion that if I call it quits with him first, then I can't say I was rejected. But even though it still hurts. I guess part of it too is not wanting to face the truth about it. Ideally, I would just like to meet a guy and for him to say, "Hey, it's no big deal! I have it too!" But that's just a silly little thought.

    And I did ask him if he had ever been tested. He said yes. He said they tested him for everything, including herpes. So..who knows. At this point I don't even care!

    Kind of off topic, but it's crazy how only after 5 dates I was having strong feelings about him. I would've thought it would take me longer.

    I think it would almost be best that next time, I tell the guy a lot sooner, before feelings are developed. I just hate the emotional struggle that goes with it. It almost feels like I broke up with the guy. Maybe if I don't wait so long to tell, I can dodge having to be sad about it.
    Yeah it'll take some time before you can accept being rejected because of it. You just have to tell yourself that YOU aren't being rejected, the disease is. That may or may not make you feel better, but that's the reality of it. I would recommend actually waiting longer to tell the next guy. If I just met a girl and she told me she had herpes, I'd be a lot more willing to walk away if I had no feelings for her. People will always evaluate the plus and minus of a situation. Not just in relationships, but everything we do. If a guy has feelings for you then that's certainly gonna be a huge plus that he will take into consideration. But I can see why you'd want to get it out of the way early to protect yourself. It's certainly a risk. But it just might payoff.

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    • #17
      I'm from USA am here to give my testimony about Dr Silver who helped me cure my HERPES (HSV), i want to inform the public how i was cured from (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) by Dr Silver, i visited different hospital but they gave me list of drugs like Famvir, Zovirax, and Valtrex which is very expensive to treat the symptoms and never cured me. Three months ago a friend suggested that I try herbal medicine; from a very powerful herbal doctor called Dr Silver. I looked up his blog on the internet site and indeed he have had immense success with his product. There were lot of persons posting their testimony about how he cured them. when i contacted him he gave me hope and send a Herbal medicine to me that i took and it seriously worked for me, my HERPES result just came out negative. My doctor was shocked how i got cured. I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no cure for herpes that is Not true just contact him and get cure from Dr Silver Herbal Center. He can cure of all kinds of STD you may have. Remember your health is precious email him with his email as; (drsilverhealingtemple*gmail.com) he can also help with the following problems

      HEPATITIS,
      CANCER,
      HIV/AIDS
      UNABLE TO GET PREGNANT

      Comment


      • #18
        I'm from USA am here to give my testimony about Dr Silver who helped me cure my HERPES (HSV), i want to inform the public how i was cured from (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) by Dr Silver, i visited different hospital but they gave me list of drugs like Famvir, Zovirax, and Valtrex which is very expensive to treat the symptoms and never cured me. Three months ago a friend suggested that I try herbal medicine; from a very powerful herbal doctor called Dr Silver. I looked up his blog on the internet site and indeed he have had immense success with his product. There were lot of persons posting their testimony about how he cured them. when i contacted him he gave me hope and send a Herbal medicine to me that i took and it seriously worked for me, my HERPES result just came out negative. My doctor was shocked how i got cured. I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that their is no cure for herpes that is Not true just contact him and get cure from Dr Silver Herbal Center. He can cure of all kinds of STD you may have. Remember your health is precious email him with his email as; (drsilverhealingtemple *gmail.com) he can also help with the following problems

        HEPATITIS,
        CANCER,
        HIV/AIDS
        UNABLE TO GET PREGNANT

        Comment


        • #19
          [QUOTE=Stillness;n546296]Call me old-fashioned, but is texting really the way to have a discussion like this? If I'm talking about romance and intimacy, there's no way I'm not doing it face to face or at least over the phone. Writing is not the worst thing in the world, but it would have to be a letter written in my own hand. Especially at a pivotal moment in a relationship.


          I AGREE!!!

          I do not like texting, especially involving personal matters.

          Comment


          • #20
            ThisOneThought,

            I'm terribly sorry that you've been infected with herpes HVS2. I hope that the person who has infected you has made recompense to you.

            I pray that a cure for HVS2 is found very soon.

            I've had only one woman tell me she was infected with herpes HVS2. We did not have sex.

            As most women know, a man infected with anything will never disclose it to women because they know women will not risk infection. I cannot blame them.

            As men age, HVS2 can cause a lot of complications including cancer.

            I know a whole lot of white women who won't date black men due to risk of infection. I will not date a black woman for the same reason. Read below for more info.

            I have modified my behavior because of STD's. I've been lucky. But luck will last only so long. So I have one woman whom I know is STD free.

            The following is from www.webmd.com. CDC has the same info:

            The HIV infection rate among black women is 20 times higher than for white women.

            One in six Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 have genital herpes and close to one in two black women are infected, new figures from the CDC reveal.

            About 19 million people in the U.S. are infected with HSV-2, at a cost to the nationís health care system of close to $16 billion a year.

            Overall, 16% of Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 had genital herpes between 2005 and 2008, compared to 17% between 1999 and 2004.

            According to the latest findings:

            Women and African-Americans were the most likely to be infected. HSV-2 prevalence was nearly twice as high among women (21%) as men (11%), and more than three times higher among African-Americans (39%) than whites (12%).

            The infection rate among African-American women was 48%.

            The infection rate was roughly 4% among people who reported having just one sex partner ever, compared to almost 27% for those who reported 10 or more partners.

            Nearly four out of five people who have genital herpes have not been diagnosed and may not know they have the infection.

            Genital Herpes Raises HIV Risk

            "This latest analysis emphasizes that we canít afford to be complacent about this infection," John M. Douglas, Jr., MD, who directs the CDCís Division of STD Prevention, said in a news conference Tuesday at the 2010 National STD Prevention Conference in Atlanta.

            "It is important that we promote steps to prevent the spread of genital herpes, not only because herpes is a lifelong and incurable infection, but also because of the linkage between herpes and HIV infection."

            Research shows that people with genital herpes are two to three times more likely to acquire HIV and they are also more likely to transmit HIV infection to others.

            Douglas explained that the immunologic response at the site where herpes ulcers form act as a target for HIV infection even after the ulcers have disappeared.

            "If you come into contact with the HIV virus, even after the ulcers have healed, you may be more likely to become infected," he says.

            People who are dually infected with HIV and HSV-2 may also be especially likely to transmit the HIV virus to others during genital herpes flare-ups.

            Need for Increased Public Awareness

            The reason women have higher rates of HSV-2 infection than men is largely explained by the fact that their genital tissue is more vulnerable to the small tears that make transmission more likely.

            And since the background rate of infection is so high in the black community, African-American women are especially at risk, Douglas said.

            "It is quite clear that this increased rate of infection in African-American women is not due to increased risk behavior," he said.

            Women with HSV-2 may have no symptoms or they may mistake symptoms like genital burning and itching for a yeast infection.

            The CDC does not recommend routine screening for genital herpes, but testing is recommended for those considered at high risk for getting and transmitting the virus, including people with multiple sex partners. Testing is also recommended for gay and bisexual men and people who are HIV positive.

            While the infection cannot be cured, treatments that lessen the severity of genital herpes outbreaks or that may help prevent them are available.

            But since most people donít even know they have the infection, treatment rates are low, says Kevin Fenton, MD, PhD, who directs the CDCís National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention.

            "Given everything we know about how to prevent, diagnose, and treat STDs, it is unacceptable that STDs remain such a widespread public health problem in the U.S. today," he says.

            Douglas said collaboration between public and private-sector groups will be needed to increase public awareness about genital herpes.

            He cited the "Get Yourself Tested" STD education campaign as an example. The campaign is directed at teens and young adults and is a partnership between the CDC, the television network MTV, and the philanthropic group Kaiser Family Foundation.

            "Public programs alone wonít be able to get the job done, particularly in light of the increasingly tight budgets that so many local and state health departments are facing," Douglas says. "We will need to be more creative in our collective approach to STD prevention."

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