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My Family vs. Baby Daddy?

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  • My Family vs. Baby Daddy?

    So I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but in my eyes he's a very good boyfriend.

    I always had this huge crush on this guy at work and the only thing my mother didn't approve was his age (he is currently 25). He is six years older than me but I'm not trying to sound conceited but I'm pretty mature for 19. We started texting in April 2013 and he asked me out on a date somewhere in early June. When I asked my mom to meet she immediately said NO and called him a punkass and said she never wanted to meet him. I secretly went behind her back and went on a few dates with him.

    I'm not a nympho or easy but on the second date it just happened. We just did it. He kept saying that it felt right and I was just so shocked at how fast it happened!!

    So on the 4th of July we hung out and I had a few drinks and so did he and I ended up staying the night at his house. When I got home my mom had blocked my phone, called everyone on my contact list, called the police, and called him a few times. I completely understand that she was horrified because she had no idea where I was, but this was like the final draw with him. She took my car away and blocked him from my phone but I had already started bought my own phone.

    July 15th, 2013 I shipped out to basic and didn't return to Texas until November. When I graduated Basic Combat Training my boyfriend flew down to South Carolina... AND so did my folks!! IT WAS SO AWKWARD!!!!! Of course I didn't blow either one off but they both tried to just make me feel happy.

    When I came home I started school in January and made the biggest miracle/uh-oh of my life. Yes, I got pregnant with my boyfriend. I decided to move in with him in his trailer which was next door to his mothers which was the worst mistake. I moved out after 4 months because I couldn't handle it. I have no idea why but I just cannot seem to stand his mother. She would always come back and knock obnoxiously loud and bang on the windows asking if I was asleep. Like seriously? I WAS asleep until you came and woke me up. Another thing is that she is hoarder and never cleans her kitchen and there was always roaches in her house. I would get so nauseous going over there that I would even starve myself than to eat her food. (My boyfriend would generally go over and eat there instead of his own trailer. We didn't have any food at our house because none of the appliances worked.)

    So when I came back home it felt great to be able to eat home cooked meals and not have to worry about getting a critter crawling visit. My mom is a clean freak and it is the best type of person you could ever live with. She is very supportive, wants me to be stress-free, continue with schooling, get my degree, and then she said and I quote "well if you decide to stay with this guy then so be it. I just want to make sure you can be independent."

    So now I am 6 months pregnant and my family (mom, dad, brother and sister) are refusing to attend my baby shower for my daughter. I know that they don't approve of him but the only reason I decided to throw it at party hall was so they could go but they don't even want to attend. It's their first grandchild and I'm really hurt by their decision but I want them to at least TRY to get them to go for an hour, you know? Can anyone please give me advice on what I should do, or tips that I could try??

    By the way, my boyfriend graduates this fall to be a History Teacher, just so you guys don't think he's one of those deadbeats.

  • Originally posted by mawliisha View Post
    So I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but in my eyes he's a very good boyfriend.

    I always had this huge crush on this guy at work and the only thing my mother didn't approve was his age (he is currently 25). He is six years older than me but I'm not trying to sound conceited but I'm pretty mature for 19. We started texting in April 2013 and he asked me out on a date somewhere in early June. When I asked my mom to meet she immediately said NO and called him a punkass and said she never wanted to meet him. I secretly went behind her back and went on a few dates with him.

    I'm not a nympho or easy but on the second date it just happened. We just did it. He kept saying that it felt right and I was just so shocked at how fast it happened!!

    So on the 4th of July we hung out and I had a few drinks and so did he and I ended up staying the night at his house. When I got home my mom had blocked my phone, called everyone on my contact list, called the police, and called him a few times. I completely understand that she was horrified because she had no idea where I was, but this was like the final draw with him. She took my car away and blocked him from my phone but I had already started bought my own phone.

    July 15th, 2013 I shipped out to basic and didn't return to Texas until November. When I graduated Basic Combat Training my boyfriend flew down to South Carolina... AND so did my folks!! IT WAS SO AWKWARD!!!!! Of course I didn't blow either one off but they both tried to just make me feel happy.

    When I came home I started school in January and made the biggest miracle/uh-oh of my life. Yes, I got pregnant with my boyfriend. I decided to move in with him in his trailer which was next door to his mothers which was the worst mistake. I moved out after 4 months because I couldn't handle it. I have no idea why but I just cannot seem to stand his mother. She would always come back and knock obnoxiously loud and bang on the windows asking if I was asleep. Like seriously? I WAS asleep until you came and woke me up. Another thing is that she is hoarder and never cleans her kitchen and there was always roaches in her house. I would get so nauseous going over there that I would even starve myself than to eat her food. (My boyfriend would generally go over and eat there instead of his own trailer. We didn't have any food at our house because none of the appliances worked.)

    So when I came back home it felt great to be able to eat home cooked meals and not have to worry about getting a critter crawling visit. My mom is a clean freak and it is the best type of person you could ever live with. She is very supportive, wants me to be stress-free, continue with schooling, get my degree, and then she said and I quote "well if you decide to stay with this guy then so be it. I just want to make sure you can be independent."

    So now I am 6 months pregnant and my family (mom, dad, brother and sister) are refusing to attend my baby shower for my daughter. I know that they don't approve of him but the only reason I decided to throw it at party hall was so they could go but they don't even want to attend. It's their first grandchild and I'm really hurt by their decision but I want them to at least TRY to get them to go for an hour, you know? Can anyone please give me advice on what I should do, or tips that I could try??

    By the way, my boyfriend graduates this fall to be a History Teacher, just so you guys don't think he's one of those deadbeats.

    This is a real tough issue you have going here and you are right in the middle of it all. So if you love this guy the father of your unborn baby you want to be with him then do that. But tell him you can not live near his mom period and if he loves you then he will move you and both of your child to a better place. You can not let your family live your life for you so they are thinking if they don't come to your baby shower that will hurt your feeling and change your mind about your boyfriend.Then you come back to them and forget about your boy friend. I see your parents and brother & sister are playing this really bad childish game and you don't need in your life it's stupid. They should be supporting you, they will be grand parents soon.But the one issue I do have why hasn't your boy friend married you yet before this baby is born it sounds like there issue with both parents on both sides of this whole ordeal. My next step would be a meeting with your family letting them know of your intention. That you are not a child but adult and if they want to keep acting like they have been you want no part of any of it period. There's no argument to it your mother wants to control your life and using the whole family to do so that to me is evil I am sorry but it is.I think the closer this baby gets closer to being born your family will wake up and want to be part of this baby life. But don't fall for some black mailing ordeal from your mother to change your mind to come crying back home to them like she wants you too.Be strong don't let others walk over you good luck and god bless.
    When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

    Comment


    • I wouldn't worry about persuading them to go to the shower hon ....if they don't want to go, maybe it's best they don't. It kind of sounds like they're doing the united front thing with you to show their disapproval of your BF at the expense of you (and your baby). I don't think I'd want people who were operating that way at my shower anyway.

      As to the future, once the baby comes they'll probably soften up and the ax grinding will lessen. (Babies have a way of doing that.) So then they'll get their own just deserts for being petty over the shower and have to deal with that guilt, and meanwhile you'll be feeling good because you didn't go around pleading with anyone not to be crappy.
      [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]

      Comment


      • If your mother and siblings were posting here, what would they say is their problem with your boyfriend?

        And why do they say they do not want to attend your baby shower?

        Comment


        • So on the 4th of July we hung out and I had a few drinks and so did he and I ended up staying the night at his house. When I got home my mom had blocked my phone, called everyone on my contact list, called the police, and called him a few times. I completely understand that she was horrified because she had no idea where I was, but this was like the final draw with him. She took my car away and blocked him from my phone but I had already started bought my own phone.
          I didn't blow either one off but they both tried to just make me feel happy.
          "well if you decide to stay with this guy then so be it. I just want to make sure you can be independent."

          I think that you will find that your Mother wants nothing but the best for you. She probably wondered what a 25 year old, "at that time" non-working person wanted with a 19 year old.. She went into defence.

          I think then you will find that as a 25 year old, he should have ensured that you rang and left a message for your Mother as you lived with her at that time, (them) that you were not coming home. She frantically thought the worse and that is a pain no parent likes to have to go through.. But he wasn't the Adult rather the kid.

          They were courteous with you at your Graduation because they love you and they still love you. Your Mother wants to be sure you are safe with your little one and can stand on your own two feet should something go wrong.

          There I think is a bit more to this story than him being just 25 as to the reason she doesn't feel he is good enough for you. Did she know of the condition in which he lived? Filth? I am not sure how long it takes to study to be a Teacher but I assume a few years yes? Did she know that is what he was doing?

          You know, I know of a 15 year old that was allowed to date a 21 year old, it's been a year and a half now, though her Mother was with her at all times, he lives 3 hours away. They are still together. His Family back-ground was not so good. Her Father worried, her Mother was "ok" as she had met him and decided not to judge a family but him personally. He recently purchased his first home and he works in a Bank. His Mother well that's another story one that worried the entire family. But, the Father is now warming to him and has accepted him to a degree and the daughter is smart, not silly, like you a very mature young lady.

          Time.

          Once the little one is born off course your Mother is going to be a Grandmother are you going to stay with her?

          What future plans do you two have with your lives now?

          Every Mother wants nothing more than pure happiness for their child if they love them and I think that's all this is and until he starts working, shows that he is looking after you, until your baby is of an age that you can perhaps get some part time work and therefore, your Mother know you can look after yourself alone if ever you need to, I don't think she is going to see this as a match. But she has accepted it. Still, just not him.
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment


          • Hey there, noted you haven't come back to reply to the members that have answered your post.

            What are your thoughts?
            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

            Comment


            • Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
              Hey there, noted you haven't come back to reply to the members that have answered your post.

              What are your thoughts?
              Well maybe the right answer was not there for her i guess not sure.
              When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

              Comment

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