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boyfriend is really busy

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  • boyfriend is really busy

    My boyfriend and I haven't seen each other in 2 weeks. (We've been dating for 3 months). The first week he was sick. I asked him a few times "do you want me to bring you anything?" He told me no, every time. Last week I called him, and he sounded horrible. I asked if he would go to the dr since he'd been sick for a week and he told me no because he's in the Police Academy and he can't miss one day or he won't graduate. We haven't talked much and he said "It's not you, I've just been really busy with tests and stuff at the academy. I'm sorry I haven't been very talkative." So this past Friday I suggested "Hey, do you want to hang out for a few hours this weekend, maybe get in my hot tub or watch Netflix? Ill cook dinner " He said "Ill let you know. kisses." This was over text message. I haven't heard from him all weekend and throughout the week I had to text him first to get him to say anything. I totally understand he's busy working on his future and the police academy is time consuming/exhausting. I'm prior military, so I know how the boot camp setting works. He did tell me he's physically and mentally tired. I understand that. But unlike boot camp, he gets to go home everyday. Do you think I'd be asking too much of him if I said "Hey, I understand your really busy with the academy and working on your future. That's awesome and I want to support you in that. But do you think you can spare 10 minutes of your day to call me?" I don't want to come off as clingy. Also I'm a full time student working on a degree in criminal justice. Not near as busy as he is though.

  • This could be a lot of things. It could be he is just that busy & focused on the tasks at hand. It's a new relationship, are you "officially" an exclusive couple?

    I have a busy job, busy life too, but anyone has time to send a text or make a 3 minute phone call, if it's even just while walking to their car after a long day, or while grabbing a bite.

    I don't think it'd be clingy to ask for a moment of his time. That's reasonable. I think the more appropriate question would be if he's still interested in continuing a relationship, because you need more than he's able to give. My gut says he just doesn't have the initiative & courage to tell you what he's really feeling/thinking.

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    • Yes. Some time in mid August we talked about that. Officially an exclusive couple. / I agree with you.

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      • You hit it dead on. It was all of the above. I called him/ texted him first. Long story short he said he can't do what Im asking and he knows I'm not asking much so he wants to put us on hold. He's been withdrawing from his family and friends as well (that's abnormal for him) and wants to be anti social and in silence./ also he told me all this over text message. I tried to call him but he ignored me. I think it's kinda cowardly to break up over text message.

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