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would you date someone with a criminal record?

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  • would you date someone with a criminal record?

    I always thought that I never would. Not even sure we can call this thing dating yet. lol

    I seldom meet someone or see someone that I'm instantly attracted to. This guy had my antenna tuning in at first glance.
    It was mutual...eyes were locked and some sort of storm was started right there. we didn't talk until hours later...

    He told me within hours of meeting what his history was and where his life is now. I respected that and haven't had any red flags waving.
    it's in the back of my mind tho...

    he called me one night...kind of put himself out there and I wasn't sure what to think. And I still don't. I'm just sort of rolling with it...he's totally oposite me...didn't graduate high school and made seriously poor choices. He got his ged tho, and he's now building a business and just bought himself a nice home. admirable. He is 32 and kinda has my attention. well, hes got all my attention.

    Idk what is to happen here...whether he is trustworthy or what...he's done nothing I know of recently. he told me his last name immediately so I was able to look him up online...nothing of concern.

    would you date someone with a past that was not socially acceptable?
    no violent crimes but he was imprisoned for a time outside the US.

    I fear that...he will revert back some day. he's been living crime free for probably 10 yrs or so, and he has made it clear that he isn't proud, joking about those days is not acceptable, tho serious questions or concerns are fine.

    I tend to be naive. too nice and I think the badness is attractive becuase I have little street smarts. it's kinda nice to have someone else who is a bit more knowledgeable on the world. he schooled me on a few things, I had no idea about...

    anyway, your thoughts gang?

  • #2
    couple of guys that I dated and the most attracted to were truck drivers with no college
    my life would be totally different today if I had married one of them
    (the one, found his FB page, can only see cover page since not on FB, all pics of matching dance outfits with wife , no kids... so I'd be dancing my life away instead of raising a child....two different worlds)

    as far as criminal record, it would really depend what it was for


    • #3
      It wouldn't be an instant disqualifier for me. It would depend on what it was, the level of notoriety, whether or not they had let it go completely, and generally how it might affect any future we might have together.
      "Those sowing seed with tears
      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126


      • #4

        -Was his history drug or theft related?
        -What kind of business is he running?
        -Have you seen the new home he speaks of? Does he live alone?

        If the criminal history was 10 years ago, then that would put him in his early twenties. Depending on the severity of it, it is NOT uncommon for guys to get in trouble during that time in their life. But yes, it would totally depend on what the criminal history was and what he has to show for himself now. Some criminals are excellent con-artists, so don't take him at face value. Make him SHOW what he says to be true.
        "Be what you're looking for."


        • #5
          It was auto theft, on the serious level. He got caught and did time for it, came home and started getting himself straightened up. He says he dropped out of high school and ran off thinking he was gonna make history and be rich stealing cars!

          His business is still in cars...Only fixing them up and reselling them. He fixes stuff, seems to be a compulsive tendency. He went in my bathroom, discovered that I have a janky light and spent the next 15 minutes finding what was wrong and fixing it in about 2 minutes. Legit business, as far as I've been able to tell, tho he is still building it up and earning client base.

          He's intelligent, articulate and I could easily see him being a con...So I do have some reservations. He's a good looking guy so, he gets attention easily and always looks me in the eye when we talk...So I think, either that's his way of checking himself, or he really is full of poo, or he's just intense that way. That remains to be seen.

          Yes I have been to his home. All appeared to be in typical disarray for a bachelor having moved in a few months prior. He has some projects going on...Water and beer in the frig. It's not what I would think is a rental, tho I've not looked into the property record. He is learning home inspection, and got the home on word of mouth that way...Fixer upper at a great deal with a gorgeous potential home in a very nice area.

          So, we will see. I have to get to know him better obviously.


          • #6
            Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
            His business is still in cars...Only fixing them up and reselling them. .
            Is that what he's been doing for last 10 yrs?


            • #7
              Interesting. Yeah, I think you'll just have to keep your guard up and see what happens. It's hard not to get swept away by that kind of attraction.
              "Be what you're looking for."


              • #8
                Exactly! And swept away I could be with him.

                amy, he's been doing this for 6 years I think he said. He worked with someone else for awhile, then started trying to build his own business-has his own shop now. He invited me over there one day, but I never went as I was busy at the time. I'm guessing it was difficult to get a decent job with a record, and just a GED.

                I'm not sure what's his deal. I basically had blown him off for 2 weeks, avoiding him, as I thought that he was looking for a sexual relationship only. Honestly, I'm not sure I'd even be opposed to that...lol, but I'd gotten sick, and just didn't really wanna deal with anyone taking my attention. So he texted me one night, and tried to chat, and I was barely answering. So he called. He asked if I was just finished with him. I said I was sick, and just not up to socializing in any form. He said he was really getting the impression that I'm not interested, and if that's the case, just say so. I said, do you hear my voice? How many times have I coughed in the 5 minutes we've been on the phone? I said I feel like death, and I am going to take some time to recover. He paused, and said, Oh. It was really weird, but really nice, and sort of sweet, like, he thought, "Oh...I'm an idiot".

                A few days after that, I felt somewhat better and had told him I was. "so can we maybe hang out after work?" I said that I was beginning to feel like a booty call since we only talk or text late at night. He said that's not true, and how could it be when he hadn't had the booty anyway which made me laugh. I told him I had an early work meeting. He called me then and I could tell he was thrown off again. He told me, he'd had a few beers, but basically said a lot of things, that made me think he's genuinely trying. He was sensitive and shared some pretty deep stuff, in my opinion, and just asked for some time to hang out. I agreed. He said something about how he really thought I was blowing him off, but he can see I'm just genuinely responsible, not out doing whatever I want, but doing what needs to be done in my life and health, my career.
                I said you're sounding needy. He said he was feeling needy, but now he gets it.
                He ended the call by thanking me, for allowing him to basically unload all over me. I said it was no problem. It was a revealing conversation. I hung up, thinking is this dude for real?

                I didn't talk to him again until Saturday (several days). I was out with a friend, and asked him what he was up to. He was an hour away with a friend. I told him I was getting an uber home, because neither of us should be driving. He said he could be there in an hour. I thought, what? I told him, we got it...uber can be there when we're ready. I bet my friend he wouldn't show. He texted me at 20 minutes out to be sure I was still there. And then...he showed up. I thought, I'm a high school freshmen again, feeling awkward and making googly eyes at the poor man, who sat there making actual conversation with my friend (male) while I drool and stare at him. I swear I was speechless. I got that deep down, fluttering brick in the pit of my abdomen. He showed up, sober and took us both home. We hadn't seen each other in over a month.

                I was on a dating hiatus. Really hadn't wanted this to be happening, but here it is, and I think I'll roll with it for now. If nothing else I'll learn more, as I've done with all the other flops.


                • #9
                  that was sweet that he came and picked you and your friend up (considering he was an hour away)
                  did you see each other today, Valentine's Day?


                  • #10
                    " I got that deep down, fluttering brick in the pit of my abdomen." I LOVE that feeling!!!! :-D It's addicting!
                    "Be what you're looking for."


                    • #11
                      No, we didn't see each other yesterday, which is fine. We've only seen each other 3 times in about 5 weeks, so I have no real expectations, and I'm not a big romantic girl for vday anyway. He left something at my house. I texted that it's being held for ransom, he said it's his excuse to come back. Lol

                      BD, I don't get that very often, so yeah, it's a lot of fun. His hugs turn me to a speechless pile of goo too. I'm not really used to being like this. This is the worst I think I've been bitten by the bug since my divorce.

                      My friend liked him. He said he thought he was talking some smack to impress me, but actually really liked him. My friend said he called him out on the exaggerated statement later, and he fessed up to it. I think that is funny...

                      We'll see what happens. Not going to get too excited.