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super trivial

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  • super trivial

    Know this will sound super trivial in the whole scheme of things. One of my sisters has always had her kids in lots of activities but always was telling me they had no money. So I suspected our parents were helping them and paying for kids activities. Once I let it slip, they were lucky to have help. Sister got extremely defensive and said my parents did not pay for anything.

  • Sibling rivalry!!! My mom went through something similar. (Different situation with this part I know...)Her sister had children young, wasn't financially stable, ended up divorcing the childrens father. So her parents helped her and the kids constantly financially and babysitting them all the time. My mom and dad were quite stable when they had my brother and I, and so since they were more self sufficient, my grandparents attention went to my aunt and her children.

    You're doing the right thing by not bumming money off your parents. I have no doubt your children are well taken care of.
    "Be what you're looking for."

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    • But why did sister lie to me?

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      • Perhaps wanting to appear like something she is not. Showy, sort of? I've known folks like that. Usually they're living far beyond their means. She probably guilted your mom into paying for things. Like a desperate cry for help, "I just don't know what we're going to do. I guess I'm going to have to pull little "so and so" out of piano lessons......she will be so devastated." If she did something like that, I can see where your mom might "secretly" agree to help.

        I'd be bothered by it too....don't get me wrong.
        "Be what you're looking for."

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Beautiful Disaster View Post
          She probably guilted your mom into paying for things.
          Yes as she's tried to do it to me! It hurt my feelings, like I wasn't doing enough. Guess felt betrayed when she lied to me.

          But that's my weakness; don't like being lied to.

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          • Meeeeee too!!! I don't think anyone likes being lied to, but I'm extra sensitive about it so I get where you're coming from. It feels like betrayal, like someone tried to fool you, and just seems so senseless.

            So yeah, especially after you telling that she's tried to guilt you into money before, I'm even more sure that's probably what happened with your mom. Sis wants people looking in to think she's got it all together, kids in private school, going to all these lessons, etc. In reality, she's prob in major debt AND taking money from your parents for help.
            "Be what you're looking for."

            Comment


            • Well, how do you know for sure she lied? Did you ask your parents?

              It could be she has no money for other things because all their cash flow goes for these activities. You may very well be right but be careful here making an assumption.

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              • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                Well, how do you know for sure she lied? .
                Got the truth this week. In original post but deleted all the personal details. Sorry for confusion. Don't want anyone I know reading posts and figuring me out, so delete info that think is too personal.

                BD saw my whole posts which were much longer.
                Think BD could be a counsellor because answers always seem to be what I need to read. Thanks BD!

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                • Ah, I see

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                  • Kitty, go back through your emails and you'll find out about the circumstances.
                    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                    ...
                    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                    Comment

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