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Caught online...

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  • Caught online...

    My husband has a girl friend he has know for a long time. They went to school together and have been friends ever since.
    The other night I caught him online with her talking dirty and . Is it wrong of me to get up set? He says nothing was meant by it... This is the second time we have gone through this. At this point I'm not sure how I should feel about it anymore. Can someone please give me there input? There was more then just talking going on...
    I talked with him about it and he has not spoke to her since but now he is talk with another friend in the same way. She write things about him that makes me think there is more going on. I don't know if I can do this anymore. Maybe I'm crazy but I just thought if he loved me this wouldn't be going on.
    Last edited by Dazed&Confused; 06-07-2007, 12:55 PM. Reason: adding...

  • I'd like to know what you mean by talking dirty.
    I'll tell you why...
    a friend and I were discussing someone else
    and got kind of raunchy about him...to be honest...
    there's nothing at all sexual between me and my
    friend, never was, never will be. I know his wife,
    I know his baby, he knows my husband, he knows
    my children...and I've known him for nearly twenty
    years as well.

    If my husband had seen the remarks we were passing
    about this other person, tossing in a few personal
    bits as spice, he might have felt 'SOMETHING IS
    GOING ON!' when nothing was.

    One might consider the discussion certainly X rated...
    but it wasn't the kind of...I want to &^^** to your **(&^
    for if that is what you saw, well, that is different.

    And enough would be enough.


    • totally not good

      hello well if it was me I'd be ****ed and he would hear about it the trust would be gone possible the relationship aswell. sorry to hear that hope this helps.


      • The question is would he be mad if you did the same thing?


        • Originally posted by brkthmpsn View Post
          The question is would he be mad if you did the same thing?
          yes very good ???
          I think he would.


          • that was wrong

            online chatting with the opposite sex is unacceptable for me
            even if it was friendly conversation.
            something will lead to another.
            that is not a good sign ,
            if there was nothing going on , why did not he tell you
            that he was chatting with her,
            why he had to hide from you??


            • I agree with housewife, but a with a caveat...
              there are those one speaks with on line
              who could be 19 or 99 and it has no import.
              It is a friendly discussion.

              The person could be female, male, a mix
              of the two, it means nothing because the
              discussion is the key issue.

              As soon as it becomes genital talk then
              the sex of the people moves to the fore
              and unless it is a kind of advice situation...
              then what is going on?

              I have deep discussions with a number of
              men on line and their wives could be sitting
              next to them, or participating, because
              there is nothing being discussed that she
              could not be sitting in the same room.

              So there is a line there.


              • Hello Kaylar,
                I always read your comments,
                I appreciate your trying to help other women by your wise advice.
                Anyway, the line with chatting on line is
                your spouse should be aware of the whole conversation,
                if every word you wrote your husband had to read and he was fine with it,
                that is surely acceptable.
                but chatting with the opposite sex behind your spouse's back and
                get involved with hot conversations, is definitely way beyond the line.
                which is the case in this story.



                • Housewife, that is the key point.

                  'Hiding' has to provoke suspicions..
                  the thing I'm alert to, however is the

                  For example, I sent a kid an under firewall
                  hack so he could get on a particular site
                  his school had banned.

                  "I Love You!" he sends back.

                  I emailed a set of instructions for a complicated
                  process to a colleague and he writes;

                  "I have no choice but to marry you, please
                  meet me at the Registrar's Office tomorrow at
                  nine a.m."

                  Now you have to view these responses in context.


                  • Funny

                    As I was reading your response , when I reached that you collague tells you "I have no choice but to marry you"
                    I had to laugh out loud
                    That was so funny
                    it sounded very friendly and innocent.
                    of course that wouldn't provoke your husband.

                    Thank you for making me smile on Monday.
                    Last edited by housewife; 03-19-2007, 11:03 AM.


                    • Husbands are crazy people.
                      I remember coming in one day, changing
                      and telling him that;
                      "Kevin is taking me out to dinner!"
                      And he began to shout...'YOu don't even hide it!"
                      And I was like...huh?
                      And our daughter said...
                      "Daddy, Kevin is twelve years old..."

                      (Kevin was 'rewarding' me for fixing his computer).


                      • Husbands are crazy people.

                        I that was so funny,
                        I wonder how his face looked like when your daughter said
                        "Daddy, Kevin is twelve years old..."

                        my husband is jealous,
                        he always makes jokes about how he sweeps girls of their feet once they see him (yeah he is gorgeous but not to that extend)
                        I decided once to do the same thing,
                        I was 9 months pregnant
                        and my belly was about to explode
                        I came back from school and said
                        a student stopped me to ask me if I was "available".
                        my husband went crazy

                        I have to admit that was a mistake because
                        it took me a long time to convince him that was a joke.
                        who wants to date an overdue pregnant woman, who is walking like a penguin??


                        • When he realised it was Kevin, my
                          best friend's son, he stood for a few
                          minutes trying to align the data.

                          They never really grow brains.
                          You just change the focus...
                          to the nearest female person.

                          I should of said; Lily (Kevin's mother)
                          is taking me out to dinner.


                          • It is quite obvious that sometimes we get raunchy while speaking with our friends, no matter what his/her gender is. So, don?t loose heart and speak out with your husband properly. Take time, relax and then make your point crystal clear to him and let him speak also. Your discussion might work. Best of luck.
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