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I've been wondering

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  • I've been wondering

    Hi all

    I have been wondering quite a lot during the past year... About life and where am I headed. Don't know if this is making any sense. But hey, life doesn't.

    Not sure where to start. So I'll just start a couple of months ago....

    Where I realized that I am the giver and hubby oh boy the taker... I would work 18 hours a day (no lies) and when telling him that I'm an my way home, get asked to buy take away at 24 hour mc Donald's en route home....

    October last year I discovered that hubby was doing porn. Yes, I know that some might say that it's because of the ludicrous hours that I work. But, 1. Those are not my standard hours and 2. Intimacy is good. I get all creative with locations and champagne and oils etc etc.... He couldnt really give me an explAnation, just that it has always been A 'problem' for him. Now I am abviously not male cant not relate to naked ladies...

    So silly me went and looked at all the sites that he did and all the pics.
    Being blessed with a graphical brain, in hindsight I should nt have done that as the pics are engrained in my minds eye... But, so we learn

    The reason why I checked can't be explained, just had this 'nagging' feeling that I must check his history on desktop.

    Last year August my sister told me something that crashed my world... My husband gave her a phone (his old one) and in there was Erotica, but not only that... Rape scenes... You know when you block something out - well, this was one of them.... It kept on bothering me, but I didnt say or do anything because I trust my husband and I am good enough and he will not do something like that....

    A couple of years ago when then the chat sites on cell phones were introduced, he was on his phone quite a lot on mixit with younger girls. Me being naive (still dont) realize what happened. All I know is that it bothered me and that I felt very uncomfortable. Gut feeling?

    Anyhow, that's bygones..., I think. When I discovered porn, I was shocked to the core. Now, still. Thinking about it makes me tremble, not anger.... It's that feeling of absolute disbelief....

    I feel as if I am at a cross road in my life... Due to a number of reasons, the latest was my husband slapping me hard that i literally saw stars...

    Will post some more later....

  • Your husband doesn't respect you. Get out ASAP and don't go back.
    "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]


    • I don't fully understand: was he "doing" as in performing, as an actor, or watching? I'd hate someone to get hold of my browser history and I'm a girl!

      However, slapping is a definate no-no, for that reason alone I would consider ending the relationship. Even if it was an isolated incident he needs to shape up or ship out regarding the dinners!
      Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.


      • If you work 17hrs, a day, how many does he work, I mean you are still intimate, act sexy, do the candles but he can't make you dinner?

        He has an addiction always has and it's escalated in as much as he has alot of fantasies and without your permission is playing them out. Do you know the word NO! ?

        It seems to me he's a taker in every way shape and form. You sure you love this person? I wouldn't.


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