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I'm moving away - any advice on how to keep a long distance relationship?

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  • I'm moving away - any advice on how to keep a long distance relationship?

    Me and my partner have been together for 5 years, I'm 20 and he's 21. I have got to say we have a fantastic relationship and I love him with everything I've got. However, I have made the decision to move for university.
    It was tough to make in regards of our relationship, but for my long term career the decision was easy. From the start he has done nothing but support me in the decision, however this means I am moving away from Derbyshire to Shropshire - about an hour and a half drive. Although I understand this isn't THAT far, we have lived together for 4 years, and we have never been more than a few miles apart.
    I am scared. The fact I will be thrown into my studies (if I want to succeed) and will also be finding a part time job there. Where is the time to visit? I would not ask him to move - I know he doesn't want to. He has his job, family and friends here and I would be selfish to put that pressure on him, as it has been my decision to move.

    Any advice on how to go from such a close relationship to long distance would be greatly appreciated! We have worked so hard at our relationship and am sure as anything I'm not giving up now!!!

    Thanks for reading and I hope for a reply from anyone

  • An hour and a half isn't that bad at all, you can spend longer than that just driving from zone 1 to zone 4 of London on a bad day!

    I think most important of all is to share your expectations with each other: will you take turns to visit each other? How often will you speak on the phone? How frequently will you make time for each other? Will you spend weekends together?

    It sounds like a strong relationship - and this will be difficult - no doubt about it, but as the saying goes 'love will find a way'.

    Good luck, I hope everything works out
    "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]


    • It will be hard, because your relationship was one of living very close to one of living much farther apart, so being together now will take planning, money and time. Are you both thoroughly committed to make it work? If so, set up communications so you can communicate on a regular basis. How often you communicate will have to be negotiated, but it should be often enough to keep the other one from worrying about the relationship. At the same time it should not be so often it annoys one or the other.

      Make sure you spend time joking and having fun with each other. Be serious when you need to be, but not all of the time. Be respectful of each other as you would be if you still lived very close to each other.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • Are you living off campus? If so, see if you can make him stay for a week. I know at my school, if you live on campus overnight visitors are not allowed more than a 2 night stay.


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