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My husband has his friends over all the time! What do I do? I'm going crazy!!

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  • My husband has his friends over all the time! What do I do? I'm going crazy!!

    Me and my husband have been married for a couple of months now. We were together for about a year and a half before we got married and his friends being over all the time used to not bother me. He works construction so he's only in town and home on the weekends. He has his 2 friends over just about every weekend. It makes me so mad and this past weekend we got into a huge fight about it. One of his friends, his stepbrother, doesn't know when to quit talking, obsesses over his past ex girlfriends, flirts with me, and thinks he's right about everything. His stepbrother lives about an hr and a half away from our house and he will just show up and walk in unannounced even if it is just myself at home. I don't feel comfortable with being alone with his stepbrother. And when he comes over, he doesn't know when to leave and we pretty much have to tell him to leave. He definitely over stays his welcome. I have told my husband many times that I do not feel comfortable with his brother being alone with me and he just doesn't seem to listen. His other friend isn't quite annoying but all they do when he is over is play video games. My husband is also very rude to me in front of his friends. His friends need to understand that he is married now and needs to spend time with his wife. I know we need to have a serious talk but I don't want to make him even madder or make him feel like his friends aren't welcome in our house. Please help!!!
    Emily McKaughan

  • OMG. I had the same problem with my ex husband. He would have all kinds of people coming over smoking and drinking at all hours of the day and night. When I used to try to talk to him about it, he would get mad. That is why we ended up getting a divorce. I got so fed up with all of the partying in my house. What really got me mad was when I"d be cooking dinner, and his friends would just pop in. He didn't even tell me anyone was coming over. So his friends would end up eating dinner with us. This happened at least 3 times a week. I used to get so mad. I started to feel like his friends were more important than me. And its funny cause my ex also worked in Construction. (He worked alot). My advice to you is to put your foot down now, before things get worse.


    • Sounds like a husband and an ex who are not good marriage material. To both, was he this way during the courting phase?
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • Totally agree with Sweetie....Time to put your foot down !! Yea he may get ****ed etc. but whatever. Don't allow him, them to run over you. It is your marriage, home, as well as your place to make a change to something your not happy with....Go get um !! Picturing a small woman kicking some butt, throwing a game out the door and saying " Now your going to spend time with me lol Hope you at least smiled
        If you're not learning you're not living!


        • **jns he had his friends over all the time when we were dating but it didn't bother me then. Now it's everytime one of them comes over, I just get so annoyed and I don't want to be that way. **MoeJr that was really funny and it did make me smile. **ItalianSweetie that is exactly how I feel, like they are more important than me.
          Emily McKaughan


          • Try saying, "Sweetheart, I know your friends are important to you and, for the most part, I really like them. However, I want our marriage to be strong and to do that we need to spend alone time together and protect that time. How about we set _____ nights per week for just us and the other nights friends are welcome?"

            It will probably take a few weeks for your friends to figure it out (and for your husband to get used to it, but if you are both insistent on it (put a sign on the door if necessary) they'll get the message.

            Good luck


            • Thanks Pollon! I have thought about doing that before, but i dont know what a reasonable amount of nights are since he's out of town all the time with his job. His schedule is very spontaneous and I never know when he will be home and sometimes not even on the weekends will he be home and by that time his friends are already over :/
              Emily McKaughan


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