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  • need help

    Hi everybody...i really need help, i got married 3 years ago, and let me admit it; it was a rebound. The problem is i and husband don't match each other by all means.. we dont have any mutual interests or even sharing the same goals of life...and what made my life worse that i met a guy a year ago i fell in love with him...i had a complete relationship with that guy for a whole year. The problem is that i ended my relation with this guy but i still cant stand my husband, i cant have sex with him and above all i dont really find anything interesting about him, i dont love him at all...plz advice me. I still love the other guy...he really loved my and he fullfilled all my needs mentally, imotionally and sexually...

  • First off if you don't love your husband and you really can't stand him and you are so unhappy please do the right thing and tell him all this and file for divorce. That would be the right thing to do for all involved.


    • Definitely cannot keep living a lie, for the both of you. Admit to him you made a
      mistake and it's time to part ways and move on.


      • Agree with the the above. In a relationship where one person is unhappy, both are unhappy.


        • Hi Marwa,

          Welcome to WH.

          I think the first thing to state is, it's great that you realise your marriage was a re-bound. So many people use the "love" word when really they know that they settled in the first place, then try to make things work.

          Secondly it sounds as if from day one you both have not been happy.

          Thirdly, whilst we may "think" it's a good idea to have an affair, to fullfill our needs that are not being met, and that is what appears to happen, it damages us and other people as well. Now, you are thinking back on this person, probably every day and it's eating at you and making you dislike your husband more and more.. Inevitable.

          Three years is not a long time but enough time to know if something will work or not and not long enough whereby, it's difficult to move on, either of you.

          Regardless of your financial situation, or other situations ie) living arrangements, you have to at least be honest with him as you are with yourself and let him know that you do not love him (anymore) sometimes it's nicer to add a little something as no one really needs to get hurt, I feel. And, work towards your next steps of leaving.

          As, for this other man. If he truly loved you, would he not have fought for you to leave? Somehow stayed in your life, non-sexually.

          I feel that you need "me" time alone, for a while so you know the right direction that you should travel.



          • marwa, are there any reasons that you believe you cannot divorce? With so much incompatibility between your husband and yourself, it would seem that divorce is the right direction.

            One thing to consider, the relationship you had with this other man had a forbidden love aspect to it. If you were divorced, would it still have the same passion?
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


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