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why can't i leave?

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  • why can't i leave?

    I have a bad marriage. I get mistreated, but for some reason I am having a hard time packing up and leaving. I don't know why. I guess maybe its because I am afraid I wont find love again and that I am desperate because when I was single I had an awfully hard time finding boyfriends. Maybe its because I love the indepedence and don't want to have to live my parents again. Or maybe I am just being true to my vows: till death do us part. I don't know. I deserve a lot better than this and plus I don't need to be dealing with this when I am still fairly young (28). Before I got married I only dated one man. He mistreated me also. Even though he mistreated me I wouldn't dump him. I just sit back and take it because I was desperate to have some one to love. I guess I just answered my question. I wont leave because I desperate. Plus things are more complicated now: have to go through a divorce, have go through lots of emtional baggage, have divide up all the funiture, etc.

  • You have to realise the first person who needs to love you is you!
    Take your time and discover yourself, learn to be confident about
    who you are and what you're worth. When that will happen, no
    one will ever be able to mistreat the one you love cause she's
    worth a whole lot more than they are. Believe it and move forward.

    YOU ARE WORTH IT!

    Comment


    • Have y'all tried marriage counseling?

      Comment


      • You need to develop your self esteem first and foremost, if you believe you do not deserve better you'll ALWAYS punch below your weight as far as men and relationships are concerned. Sorry for being blunt but I believe that to be true. YOu owe yourself better than this, many relationships are not perfect, but you shouldn't have to tolerate being mistreated, nowhere in wedding vows does it say you should suffer that does it?
        No matter how objective we try to be, we all see through our own eyes...

        Comment


        • Originally posted by brunettebabe View Post
          I have a bad marriage. I get mistreated, but for some reason I am having a hard time packing up and leaving. I don't know why. I guess maybe its because I am afraid I wont find love again and that I am desperate because when I was single I had an awfully hard time finding boyfriends. Maybe its because I love the indepedence and don't want to have to live my parents again. Or maybe I am just being true to my vows: till death do us part. I don't know. I deserve a lot better than this and plus I don't need to be dealing with this when I am still fairly young (28). Before I got married I only dated one man. He mistreated me also. Even though he mistreated me I wouldn't dump him. I just sit back and take it because I was desperate to have some one to love. I guess I just answered my question. I wont leave because I desperate. Plus things are more complicated now: have to go through a divorce, have go through lots of emtional baggage, have divide up all the funiture, etc.
          U were the same member who had a lover who mistreatd u?? Told u to get an abortion???

          Comment


          • an abortion? i have never been pregnant

            Comment


            • Originally posted by brunettebabe View Post
              an abortion? i have never been pregnant
              Im confused??? u made a thread pertaining
              To abortion and trent?? ur user nsme is formular??

              Comment


              • No that's jade girl.... Not brunettebabe

                Comment


                • You cant leave cos your still in love with him

                  Comment


                  • thank you bladyn'smommy for clearing that up. artqween: you're confused. getting me confused with another member

                    Comment


                    • I had showed my husband a journel entry I had wrote about the reasons why I am not very happy with the marriage and he thought I was full of it because he didn't think the reasons were true and that the stuff didn't happen. I guess he is denial.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by brunettebabe View Post
                        I have a bad marriage. I get mistreated, but for some reason I am having a hard time packing up and leaving. I don't know why. I guess maybe its because I am afraid I wont find love again and that I am desperate because when I was single I had an awfully hard time finding boyfriends. Maybe its because I love the indepedence and don't want to have to live my parents again. Or maybe I am just being true to my vows: till death do us part. I don't know. I deserve a lot better than this and plus I don't need to be dealing with this when I am still fairly young (28). Before I got married I only dated one man. He mistreated me also. Even though he mistreated me I wouldn't dump him. I just sit back and take it because I was desperate to have some one to love. I guess I just answered my question. I wont leave because I desperate. Plus things are more complicated now: have to go through a divorce, have go through lots of emtional baggage, have divide up all the funiture, etc.
                        Why do you call this love? You could love a puppy and get back more in return than abuse and mistreatment from your spouse. You could love your house but it won't love you back nor will all the furniture that you might keep if you divorced. YOU can love lots of people, men, children, friends BUT you can't make them love you back. At least give yourself the opportunity to have someone love you for who you are. If someone loves you he/she will not mistreat you nor abuse you. What type of independence do you really have right now?
                        That which we forget may as well never really happened.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by brunettebabe View Post
                          I have a bad marriage. I get mistreated, but for some reason I am having a hard time packing up and leaving. I don't know why. I guess maybe its because I am afraid I wont find love again and that I am desperate because when I was single I had an awfully hard time finding boyfriends. Maybe its because I love the indepedence and don't want to have to live my parents again. Or maybe I am just being true to my vows: till death do us part. I don't know. I deserve a lot better than this and plus I don't need to be dealing with this when I am still fairly young (28). Before I got married I only dated one man. He mistreated me also. Even though he mistreated me I wouldn't dump him. I just sit back and take it because I was desperate to have some one to love. I guess I just answered my question. I wont leave because I desperate. Plus things are more complicated now: have to go through a divorce, have go through lots of emtional baggage, have divide up all the funiture, etc.
                          Is he there now?

                          Comment


                          • You have to be fed up to leave . Most people won't admit it but its easier said then done when it comes to leaving the one you love. Everyone has their limit and you just haven't reached yours yet. But at least you are beginning to acknowledge that there is a problem and you deserve better . The mere fact that you are questioning yourself is a step in the right direction so you are on your way to making a change. I wish you the best and please know that you can achieve any goal you set forth to obtain. When you become fed up you will know it b/c it won't be a darn thing he or anyone else can say that will make you stay . So continue to think about your freedom from this broken relationship.

                            Comment

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