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NEED UR VALUABLE ADVICE.......Please read and respond

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  • NEED UR VALUABLE ADVICE.......Please read and respond

    I have been dating a top IT professional for the last ten months . He has had many girl friends in the past but none lasted more than four months. However he always claims to be committed to me and has also proposed to marry me several times. One of his exes, a married woman, has always been emotionally blackmailing him for quite a long time. He hide this from me but since i know his passwords, i found her number of emails that proved that they are in contact however he is not in love with her any more. This may be because he has been spending more time with me. I confronted with him and even broke up with him. However he sent me a lot of text messages and emails apologising profusely and admitting his mistakes and pleading to give him yet another chance. He said he has had enough with that married lady and she has been really stopping him from having his own life. He said to me that he was responding to her emails only out of sympathy.

    I trusted him because i knew the way she always threatens him through emails. We moved further and our engagement date was fixed. At that time he had gone for a business tour. During that date, i happened to see that lady's email in his email box accusing him for not meeting her even he has come to her place. I never knew that he has gone to that particular place where she lives. He gave me another place name as training venue before going. Again while i confronted he said he hid this because if he had told me that earlier i would not have allowed him to go. However I broke again with him.

    He again pleaded me and promised me that he will not commit anymore mistakes. I asked him to completely stop relationship with that lady. I even drafted a breakup letter for him which he sent to her. After that we had many good times. In his social networks including Facebook, he put his status as 'committed'.

    Once casually while checking his mobile I saw that lady's 100s of desperate messages and his just two replies. One of his reply was a rude one, another is "miss u". I was devastated. But he said that she threatened him of committing suicide and thats why he responded atleast twice. There were a lot discussions, all our friends interfered and finally he managed to convince me that he is committed to me and only me.

    However after reading your emails my strategy changed and it really worked. He became more close to me. He called me always and showered me with compliments romantic messages etc. However even a slight arguement nowadays leads to dirty situation. Yesterday he promised me to meet me. In the evening he said he is back from a long journey and he is tired to drive again. I was bit sad and i told him strongly, u would have told me this before. You know he sent me a message like this " you are a curse in my life". He is always like this whenever he is irritated he uses very bad and harsh words. After that he cut phone. After one hour he called me but I didnt respond.

    Our marriage is fixed this year end. Eventhough I love him alot, no day is passsing without pain and confusion. I dont know what to do. Kindly advise.

  • I think you need to relax, keep yourself busy, study, work, go out with friends, hit the gym and focus on yourself and stop harassing your man. Don't check his emails and text messages anymore, it will drive both of you insane. Trust him or leave him, there is no point in being with somebody I you don't trust him. Better yourself showing confidence, taking care of yourself and showing that you are a happy woman. The more desperate you are, the easier it would be for him to play with your nerves!


    • I totally agree with what Julie said. The keeping tracking and checking will only make you crazy and cause you nothing but stress and it isn't worth it. If he is truly worthy of you and your love then he will do the right thing and you will not have to worry. He will eventually earn your trust again. Keep busy your mind doesn't go there. I know easier said than done but please try it or you will drive yourself crazy, I know from experience.


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