Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Engaged, could use some good advice for my fiance and I?

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • Engaged, could use some good advice for my fiance and I?

    Hi there, I recently became engaged and I'm judt curious, what is some good advice for a happy, successful marriage? We hardly ever fight, I'm just more curious. Thank you!

  • Good communication is key. Also in the heat of the moment think before you speak. Once those words come out they can't be taken back.

    Comment


    • Don't hold onto the hope that your man will change. He is who he is (less maturation). If there are things about him you don't like, spend your energy on yourself learning to live with those. You'll get along much better.

      Good luck

      Comment


      • I think both people in the marriage need to be able to compromise. Not necessarily right down the center line, rather with give and take.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment


        • Compromise is inevitable

          First off, congratulations =]

          Compromise is inevitable. You're going to be around each even more than before. It's okay to take a stand on
          things, but remember marriage is about finding a balance between you and your husband, it's being open and honest,
          but also having the maturity to step back and meet the person halfway.

          One of the things that bothered me when I got married was our taste in decorum. My husband has a thing for
          "practical and functional things" aka, he doesn't like things that sit on shelves to look pretty or hangs on a wall with no
          other purpose than to collect dust.

          But I think those things add character and can be sentimental. We've both learned to give a little, he lets me hang up
          artwork and buy candles, and other things that are both functional and pretty.

          Being married is like becoming one person, but having two different faces.

          Good Luck =]

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Rhonda14 View Post
            Good communication is key. Also in the heat of the moment think before you speak. Once those words come out they can't be taken back.
            And, never go to bed Angry...................
            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Pollon View Post
              Don't hold onto the hope that your man will change. He is who he is (less maturation). If there are things about him you don't like, spend your energy on yourself learning to live with those. You'll get along much better.

              Good luck
              I agree, but same goes for the OP, in hope that he sees her for who she is and does not try to change her.

              Working Together Guarantees Success....

              In addition if I may being probably older than you lot, lust turns to love in a friendship form, if you lose the lust you lose the relationship, meaning, you must look at a relationship just like your job, it takes work and a lot of it, and compromising and "seeing" what someone needs and what you need is very important to communicate and do.
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment


              • Figure out how you will deal with money. Is everything shared? Each pays their own?The scheme that my wife and I use is that we combine incomes, share most expenses, but we set aside some money for each of us to call our own to spend on whatever we want.

                Comment


                • Congratulations on your engagement! This is a very exciting time in your life so enjoy the feeling of being in love and being excited about your future! If it's not begun already, you may run into challenges in planning your wedding. You will be taken aback by all of the considerations that will arise - for instance, if you come from families that are involved in your wedding planning, anticipate that everything from the ceremony venue to the seating arrangements at your wedding reception will require much give and take. When things get dicey and you wonder if you'll ever make it just remember my kind advice here: it's your wedding day, but others will be vested too Learn to be diplomatic but don't be a doormat, either. Find a sense of balance and poise. As others here said, communicate with your fiancee; your wedding planning will be the beginning of many wonderful life events that you will experience together! Be aware that you and your fiancee have two different ways of dealing with well-meaning family, so be understanding of the importance of family and all will be well.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
                    And, never go to bed Angry...................
                    Nah, I don't believe that one, sometimes you just can't get it worked out before bedtime, and sometimes you just don't want to. The next day what bothered you or him may seem trivial, better to let some things rest a day than hash through things emotionally and tired.

                    Comment


                    • I read this, this morning, and it's 100% the truth. Falling in love is the easy part...staying in love is the work.

                      ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?


                      During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

                      The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
                      replied the author.

                      Here's the answer.

                      Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
                      fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
                      want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

                      People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

                      Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

                      Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

                      At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
                      may begin to desire that experience with someone
                      else. This is when relationships breakdown.

                      The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

                      People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

                      Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

                      I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

                      Because (listen carefully to this):

                      The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

                      SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
                      WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

                      Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

                      Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

                      Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

                      Comment


                      • Thank you all very much! This is all very good advice! I really appreciate it!

                        Comment

                        Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                        Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

                        Latest Posts in Our Forums

                        Collapse

                        • Reply to Top 5 Drinks Which Helps Lose Weight

                          Drinks containing ginger, carbonated water, apple cider vinegar, water, and protein shakes are top 5 drinks, which can help to lose weight....

                          Yesterday, 03:50 AM By TerenceBlacker
                        • Reply to Old member

                          If that's genuinely the lifestyle you want, then honestly, it's not that difficult to find those arrangements in the US. They are more and more common,...

                          02-20-2020, 08:03 AM By atskitty2
                        • Reply to I can't get over it!

                          I'm very sorry for your loss. That's a devastating loss that, I can imagine, could really never be fully recovered from. Have you been seeing a grief...

                          02-20-2020, 07:52 AM By atskitty2
                        • Reply to Old member

                          Kiyomi being not sure tells me that she is almost certain that she doesn't want to continue with the previous arrangement. It will be hard finding someone...

                          02-19-2020, 04:10 PM By jns
                        • Reply to Old member

                          I've talked with my ex and Kiyomi, he wants to get back together, Kiyomi is not sure about it. I'm bisexual and doubt I could ever be happy without having...

                          02-19-2020, 11:16 AM By chaya

                        Latest Topics in Our Forums

                        Collapse

                        • What do you mean by Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)?

                          Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, commonly known as PCOS is a health condition that affects 10 million women in the world. Genetics, as well as environmental...

                          02-18-2020, 10:51 PM By laiqadm
                        • I can't get over it!

                          My baby was stillborn. It's been two years now but still, I can't get over it. Also, I couldn't conceive after that. So, I am looking forward to adopting...

                          02-18-2020, 09:13 PM By Emily2020
                        • Old member

                          I haven't been on here for a long time. This forum helped me get my life together. Having reached a new low in my life, I'm back for more advice. I'm...

                          02-14-2020, 03:48 AM By chaya
                        • Can I bed my mother in law?

                          I'm 40 married. My wife is ok if I bed other woman as far as she don't know who it is and it's not in the same bed as hers. We had a open discussion on...

                          02-11-2020, 01:12 PM By sam.extcool
                        • Knowing when to push at the doctors?

                          Hello ladies!

                          A little bit of background. I am a 30yo mom of 3 kids (ages 10, 5, & 2) - I had all via c-section, also had my tubes...

                          02-10-2020, 02:30 PM By AnneDixon
                        Working...
                        X