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does my husband love me?

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  • does my husband love me?

    Does my husband love me? He hardly has sex with me, he is not romantic, he does not sleep with me in the bed at night, he does not eat dinner with me at the table, he does not do anything for me, we never do anything together except jog around the neighborhood since he is big into it, and sometimes when I am trying to talk to him he will tell me to tell him whatever it is I want say later on because he is busy reading or if ask for help he will ask me if I could do it myself.

  • From your description, he has not put out many open expressions of loving you. Certainly it sounds like the in-love stage has passed. It may be that he loves you as a person would a family member, maybe one who is far away. Has he always been this way? If not, when did things change?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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    • I don't really remember when things changed, but its been a while. I figure he might not love me as much as he used to because he has to deal with my seizure disorder, that I can't get pregnant (probably has to do with lack of sex, but he can't understand that), and the fact that I can't help him financially at the moment. Hubby uses my car all time to get his job so I currently don't work. I am not going to walk on the side of a busy road in order to get to work.

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      • Do you make romantic gestures toward him, or have you stopped since he has stopped?

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        • Originally posted by rcoreyus View Post
          Do you make romantic gestures toward him, or have you stopped since he has stopped?
          I try to intiate sex all the time, but it almost never works. I am of course always trying to do nice things for him, things to please him, things to make him happy. Its just that I never get anything in return.

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          • How long have you been together/married? Is he depressed? On any medication? Why is it that you sleep in separate beds... was that your decision, his decision, or a mutual decision? Sometimes stress will cause a man to withdraw from his S/O and being the only person working, you having a medical issue and depending on how much stress he feels with the pregnancy issue... Does he want to start a family as well? You should try communicating with him and asking him why he is so distant...Do you two ever watch tv/movies together? It sounds to me like you are living as roommates more than a married couple.

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            • We have been married for eight and half years. He is not on medication. Its his decision to not sleep together. Its been a while since he last slept with me in the bed. He doesn't want to sleep with me because he doesn't want me to try to reach over during the night to touch his penis. He claims he wants a baby as much as I do, but I think its a lie because he gives me sex only about once a month and doesn't want to get checked out to see if he has a problem. He can't understand that we have to have sex more to be more successful at conceiving. He thinks that even though we might not do it that much it should still work. That it might take longer than expected, but it should still work. Since nothing has happened yet he blames it on me. Thinking I have a fertility problem or something. He thinks there is absolutly no possible way he is the one with the problem. This is why he wont get checked out. He thinks there is no possible its him because he is healthy man who exercises regularly. I of course talk to him about it and make my feelings known. All the stuff I mentioned have been going on for a while. Things weren't always like this. I can't recall when they changed. He thinks things are fine with our marriage and that things will be even better if we had more money coming in and if we could afford to take vacations. He rates our marriage about an eight. I rate it about a five.

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              • Your husband and my husband sound like twins!!!!

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                • I believe love is both feelings AND actions. Though momentary feelings can wax and wane for a variety of reasons and for various amounts of time, genuine love will still carry out actions. Those actions being showing affectios, acts of service, spending time together, etc.

                  I wouldn't attempt to guess about your husband's feelings, but his actions do not demonstrate love in my book.

                  If you concluded that your husband didn't love you, what would you want to do about it?

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                  • It looks like your husband is not making a single effort to make you feel loved. There must be really something wrong and try to talk to him once and for all.

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                    • If he loved me he would be showing it wouldn't he? We live more like room mates than husband and wife.

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                      • Yes of course your husband loves u very much.But u also loves your husband.Then your small family will become very happy.Sometimes u and your husband should go to a park to spent some time.

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