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Need some advice....Very confused

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  • Need some advice....Very confused


    So i'm not to sure how to really start this so sorry if its kinda jumbled up.

    I have been married for a little over 4 yrs been with my husband for 5 yrs, We have a beautiful little boy who is 3.....My husband got into the army a few months after we got married and then left for Germany after he graduated basic... He then started to have these weird fantasies about me sleeping with another man and wanted a video of it!!!!! Now me I belive in my vows and I dont understand why he would want to share me. I sure in heck dont wat to share him!!! Well I finally ended up going to germany a month before he depoyed to afganistan. He continued doing it and pushing me to go and do this for him every time we talked it was all about sex never about how I was doing or even our son just sex. well this continued until 2 months before he came home from deployment I finally caved I coulndt take it anymore I just wanted him to shut up and leave me alone so I finally did it I found someone and I slept with him... Worst experience of my life made me feel disgusting then I found out I have clymidia because of it and my husband didnt care.... He still continued to ask me about having a 3sum or him going to go sleep with other women...Made me feel unloved and uncared for....Now 2 yrs later I still hate him for making me do it and hate myself for giving in....Ive gained a bunch of weight, am very unhappy, I dont like my husband at all I dont even think im in love with him anymore....I will love him a little always because of our son but thats it....He is mean , selfish , doesnt think about anyone but himself, our son doesnt come first to him he deals with him when he feels like it other than that nothing, he made us move to NM and were living in his parents house. I hate it there I hate not having my own home anymore, I wasnt given an option on where we were going to move wasnt even asked because he didnt care... He knows how unhappy I am bt doesnt care He lies to me about spending money and going to the casino....I'm just at a loss of what to do anymore\.......HELP!!!

  • The bigger issue is that he has a film or tape of your infidelity and if and when you go before a divorce court, - you will get slammed. Prior to making any waves with your husband, you must get that film or cd. You must ensure all copies are destroyed and you must make certain that there will not be any more floating around. YES I find it offensive that he talked you into doing this. YES I think he is mean, selfish and doesn't think about anyone other than himself. You should be making plans for yourself and your son. You need to get some money, have a plan to move out on your own and you need to start socking away some money for yourself.
    You need to make your plans if you want out of this relationship. If you want to stay in the relationship then you and he need to get your own place to live and you need to discuss what you will and will not tolerate in your relationship.
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.

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    • Luckly he doesnt have anything showing me doing it I had tried to do as he had asked and video it but the camera shut off before it coud even tape anything, As of right now I'm at my familys house in texasfor a month and hes still in NM.... ive given him a month to find us a marriage counselor, to try and work things out... But ive tried to work things out tried to change things...But im just tired of trying, Especially when he thinkgs everything is fine. When I try to talk to him he gets mean and defensive and makes me feel like the bad person, Just dont know what to do

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