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Husband jealous of best friend.

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  • Husband jealous of best friend.

    To give you some background, I am 25 and have been married for 3 years. I love my husband very much and we have a good marriage. My husband also has his best friend whom I have also become very good friends with. He is a great friend and if things had been different, this friend and I may have dated, but I was already with my now husband when I met this friend (Pat). Recently, my husband mentioned that he thought Pat liked me, as in more than friends. While I was flattered by the thought (i'm not used to men paying me attention) I didnt think much of it as I didnt really see it myself. However, it seems to bother my husband that Pat may have feelings for me. My husband knows that I would never do anything with Pat, but it seems like my husband doesnt trust Pat, his best friend. It has gotten to the point where my husband doesnt want to have the three of us hang out really, and definetly not have just Pat and I hang out. How do I calm my husbands fears and reassure him that even if Pat does have these feelings, that nothing will ever happen? I dont want to lose this great friendship, but I also dont want my husband to be upset about us hanging out. Any advice would be great!

  • First, imagine that the roles were reversed, that you husband met a woman who (you thought) was more attractive, seemed to get along great with your husband and clearly was interested in him.

    Some people are OK with this - I have no problems with my wife hanging out with a very attractive male friend of hers - but most people are made uneasy by this situation. In this case Pat clearly is attracted to you, and I expect that you very much appreciate the attention - it is a wonder feeling to be desired.


    • http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...nk-i-have.html

      I am a little bit confused. In this thread you confirm your feelings for Pat and advise that you would have dated him had you had not met your husband and 6 months later you still have feeling for him.

      I guess your husband has started to see this, consequently, it seems you are trying to establish how to make your husband think differently to your feelings via this thread?


      • It could be that your husband is jealous of anyone who notices you or more likely it could be that his friend flirts with you in a subtle way and you flirt back (maybe even subconsciously).
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


        • Now that you realize your husbands feelings/observations, be aware of your interactions with the friend next time you are all together. Do you think someone would get the feeling that there is a little chemistry there? If so, back off and figure out how to stay friends with this guy without it seemingly like anything else.

          Good luck!


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