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My husband left us, again! Advice please.

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  • My husband left us, again! Advice please.

    My husband and I met in Kuwait coming back from overseas. He said I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He chased and chased and a few months later I gave him a chance.

    Eventually we got married, we got pregnant and much of our first year we were separated because of the army, and fought a lot.

    At five months preg I got out of the army and moved to Colorado with him.

    Two months later he said he wanted a divorce and I left for florida where my family was.

    Five months later ( having slept with a woman three times in our bed and I had served him the divorce and he got out of the army because he was tired of it) he begged for another chance. I agreed to it I felt he owed it to our daughter.

    He had promised never to hurt me like he did and that he would never leave again. He came to visit and then I went to him to visit. He found a house remodeled it completely, we were great for a month and started fighting again.

    He quit school after a semester and spent all of his money plus some on a four wheeler and guitar. I decided to take a trip to see my family with the baby.

    We couldn't talk without fighting. We both became stressed. He became hanging out with his friends, partying, not serious about finding a job at all. (Ive been with family about a month and a half because he was supposed to come get us and our belongings, i go to school full time online and picked up a part time job here to feed our daughter)

    He started being distant but kept calling me his one and only forever and saying that my problems are his because we are a family and he loves us more than anything in the world.

    Then he went to this four wheeler track and sent me a pic of him with his friends and he wasn't wearing his ring when I confronted him he was calm and reassured me I was his girl and he loved me and only me forever. He said he couldn't wear it when riding.

    The next morning he said he had the best time of his life that night. Picked a fight with me and said we don't work for each other and he wants out.

    It's been a week and he has been hanging out with a 19 year old girl who I've never heard of til now. He was calling once a day to talk to our daughter (supposedly) who doesn't talk yet. I let him talk to her and he started his crap with me being hateful like i left him. so I haven't been answering his calls or text and he seems to be trying more frequently to get ahold of me about our daughter.

    Is he involved with this girl? Does he really want us to end? Or is he going to try to come back?

    I am still with my family in a whole other state.
    Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 05-25-2013, 02:30 AM. Reason: paragraphing

  • Personally, I think your husband has no idea what constitutes a marriage.

    He saw a woman he thought was beautiful and I am sure you are and chased you until he won.

    There was a lot of separation with you two and he bares not much responsibility at all, quitting his military and favouring playing with the boys..

    I would say what ever he says "nicely" is for his daughter, another words he doesn't want to lose his daughter, it's his child.

    But I would say he is immature and not ready for any marriage and the fact you two fight a lot and always have, you two were more lust than love.

    Let him go, you are doing great, on-line training, raising a daughter, part time work.. Imagine? Him trying to support you both in his boyish have fun ways, don't want to work.

    Keep going down the path you are going.

    Things don't always work out , even though we want them too especially marriage as we obviously feel a bond to just that word and the picture that comes with it.
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment


    • I agree with CW. He is very immature and not ready for a committed relationship. Cut ties with him to the greatest degree possible and get on with your life. Make sure he sends support money for his daughter.

      I admire you for going out and getting a job to feed your child. I admire you for keeping on studying. This is how to build a better life. If I was you, I would cut ties permanently and go through with the divorce. I think all of his actions would just be more things to fight about if you continue with your marriage.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment


      • Is he gonna try to come back again?

        Originally posted by Pope226 View Post
        My husband and I met in Kuwait coming back from overseas. He said I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He chased and chased and a few months later I gave him a chance.

        Eventually we got married, we got pregnant and much of our first year we were separated because of the army, and fought a lot.

        At five months preg I got out of the army and moved to Colorado with him.

        Two months later he said he wanted a divorce and I left for florida where my family was.

        Five months later ( having slept with a woman three times in our bed and I had served him the divorce and he got out of the army because he was tired of it) he begged for another chance. I agreed to it I felt he owed it to our daughter.

        He had promised never to hurt me like he did and that he would never leave again. He came to visit and then I went to him to visit. He found a house remodeled it completely, we were great for a month and started fighting again.

        He quit school after a semester and spent all of his money plus some on a four wheeler and guitar. I decided to take a trip to see my family with the baby.

        We couldn't talk without fighting. We both became stressed. He became hanging out with his friends, partying, not serious about finding a job at all. (Ive been with family about a month and a half because he was supposed to come get us and our belongings, i go to school full time online and picked up a part time job here to feed our daughter)

        He started being distant but kept calling me his one and only forever and saying that my problems are his because we are a family and he loves us more than anything in the world.

        Then he went to this four wheeler track and sent me a pic of him with his friends and he wasn't wearing his ring when I confronted him he was calm and reassured me I was his girl and he loved me and only me forever. He said he couldn't wear it when riding.

        The next morning he said he had the best time of his life that night. Picked a fight with me and said we don't work for each other and he wants out.

        It's been a week and he has been hanging out with a 19 year old girl who I've never heard of til now. He was calling once a day to talk to our daughter (supposedly) who doesn't talk yet. I let him talk to her and he started his crap with me being hateful like i left him. so I haven't been answering his calls or text and he seems to be trying more frequently to get ahold of me about our daughter.

        Is he involved with this girl? Does he really want us to end? Or is he going to try to come back?

        I am still with my family in a whole other state.
        Is he gonna try to come back again?

        Comment


        • There are so many emotions that go on, within a relationship break up..

          I imagine you are no different, you are going to have to go through them. At some point you will see what we see and be grateful you are doing it on your own.

          Most, yes, they crawl back, hurt you again, and leave. They will keep coming back for what they want only, until you say.....NO MORE.
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment

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