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Do you ever get mad at your spouse/partner for no good reason?

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  • Do you ever get mad at your spouse/partner for no good reason?

    My husband got me some workout clothes. I'm more of an old T-shirt and shorts workout gal. So I put on these clothes and they are so tight that when I looked in the mirror they highlighted every flaw. It made me feel upset at my body and then I felt really angry at my husband for getting me the clothes. I know, stupid, but couldn't help myself.

    The funny part is I'm actually wearing the clothes right now and kind of like them.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

  • No. I don't get this at all, sp. My wife gets mad at me for stuff like this, though.
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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    • sp, one very real possibility is that the hubs thinks you look (or would look) fantastic in them. Remember that whole thing about how we tend to be far more critical of ourselves than we should be, and how the men in our lives tend not to see 90% of the things we see. You might look at yourself and see a, b, c, d, e things you'd like to change, but he just probably sees "boobs."

      As to the question, I rarely get upset about anything, pretty easy-come-easy-go here. It helps that the BF behaves.
      [FONT=Trebuchet MS][COLOR="#800080"][B][SIZE=4]Woman trapped inside a woman's body![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT]

      Comment


      • I very rarely get mad. My pet peeve is when my wife wants me to agree that I want to do something rather than accepting that while I'm happy to do it for her, it isn't particularity what I want. (not an issue for sex BTW).

        Comment


        • Originally posted by sp346 View Post
          My husband got me some workout clothes. I'm more of an old T-shirt and shorts workout gal. So I put on these clothes and they are so tight that when I looked in the mirror they highlighted every flaw. It made me feel upset at my body and then I felt really angry at my husband for getting me the clothes. I know, stupid, but couldn't help myself.

          The funny part is I'm actually wearing the clothes right now and kind of like them.
          I understand exactly what you mean. I do not get upset very often, but when I do, it is usually about my own flaws and insecurities. Sometimes it gets projected at the people who deserve it the least. My SO does the same. Just like you, if I buy her something that she doesn't look good on her, she complains that I spent the money.

          I understand her perfectly as she does me. So we tend to laugh at each other when it happens.
          "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

          Comment


          • I really like this story.

            I read, "I like to cover it all up", but I like to work out. Husband, "you're looking good, proud of you, here". You OMG, followed by, mm loving it .

            I'd call it a reaction personally.
            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

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            • The funny part is I'm actually more "show what your mama gave you" while my husband is "conservative republican wife" type. The clothes he got me were very covered up, top to bottom. They were just tight and I don't think he realized that. I don't like things tight around my hips because that is the one part I feel really conscious about. And there was really no reason to get mad at him. He probably didn't realize these clothes would look so tight.

              Maybe once you've been with somebody so long, you just target all your hostility that you can't target anywhere else at them. At the time I was fuming. Now, it seems so stupid.
              Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

              Comment


              • I think you nailed it right there hon, and was about to suggest that. I don't mean to harp, but based on your other posts, I just think you have buried hostility, unresolved conflict with him so it comes out on these things. Sort of how some people argue to divorce over which way the toilet paper roll goes...it isn't really about that at all.

                Comment


                • Effy brings up a good point. My wife knows that the things she gets mad about are not right. She also can't hide her feelings from me. If I tease her a little she can laugh to. Not taking yourself too serious is a good thing.
                  "Those sowing seed with tears
                  Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by jen1447 View Post
                    sp, one very real possibility is that the hubs thinks you look (or would look) fantastic in them. Remember that whole thing about how we tend to be far more critical of ourselves than we should be, and how the men in our lives tend not to see 90% of the things we see. You might look at yourself and see a, b, c, d, e things you'd like to change, but he just probably sees "boobs."

                    As to the question, I rarely get upset about anything, pretty easy-come-easy-go here. It helps that the BF behaves.
                    Spinning off of that, a man looks into a mirror and sees something that is better than what is actually there... A woman looks into a mirror and sees something that is worse than what is actually there. I think you are being overly critical on yourself (as Jen said). He thinks you look "boobs!!!"
                    [B]"Are you serious? You're [i]bleeping[/I] THAT girl?"[/B][B] - [COLOR="#B22222"]jen1447[/COLOR][/B]

                    Comment


                    • Omg, I hate to admit this but the same thing happened to me too.

                      He was just trying to do a nice thing and he actually got me the seamless tights that I was checking out for so long... But I don't look like a girl in the photos so I got mad.

                      I feel really bad about this, and I could barely admit it to him that I started wearing them cause they are actually great (even for the "not model" type)
                      Last edited by jns; 05-27-2018, 12:09 PM. Reason: Outbound links are not allowed.

                      Comment


                      • This is an old thread, but I still think if there is conflict in a relationship, it could be down to lack of communication. I also think getting angry at trival things could mean deeper problems in the relationship. It is never funny or a joke to get angry with your partner. For me to get angry, there has to be a very good reason: not just that he hasn't put the toilet seat down. Getting angry all the time is very stressful and a problem. There would be deeper issues within the relationship. I think the couple have to be honest with themselves and realize the real reason for their anger.

                        Comment

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