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Going too far?

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  • Going too far?

    Hey all,

    I would really appreciate your opinions on this. I am a student at Cornell, dating a hot guy who's a few years older than me. We are mainly dating for sex.
    Almost immediately after we started, he told me that he's into bondage and being dominated. It was new to me, but I seriously started to enjoy watching him and his muscles struggle when I tease or humiliate him a bit. I enjoy the power and trapping someone bigger than me.

    However, he recently had the idea to take things further. He asked me to take some pictures of him, when he's bound and naked, and to show them to some of my female friends. I don't know why that's a turn-on for him but I sent a few around on whatsapp, to people I can trust.

    Now yesterday, he said he wants to become my "slave". And not just as a game, he brought a printed and signed "contract" in which he declared that he'll do what I want, and I can blackmail him with some pictures, to make sure he obeys me. I'm caught in two minds. At one hand, this just feels wrong and too extreme. At the other, the idea of total power over a guy like him turns me on enormously. Is something wrong with me?

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with you. This is a lifestyle and a preference some people have. You just need to decide whether it's right for you. It's something to consider carefully.

    Do you know if this is a permanent arrangement and whether it reaches all areas of your relationship?


    • Our relationship is mainly based on sex and hormones. The part I enjoy the most, is having him tied up and helpless. I use zip-ties to make sure he has zero chance of getting out, and putting a gag in his mouth, that part is what I really like. I have tried out some things, like keeping him bound for a while, with a little vibrating egg on him, and am looking for other ideas.

      The part I don't really get from him, is why he wants me to show him to other girls. I will blackmail him if it makes him happy but it's not something serious in my mind, I would never expose him in public. It's a fetish i had never heard of, actually.


      • Anca, congratulations on being at Cornell; that's an excellent school and you must have impressive credentials to have been admitted.
        Concerning this guy you're seeing: you're smart - use your head. If something feels "off," it probably is. This guy wants you to show his picture to other women in the (strange) belief that they'll want to have sex with him too. Now, if you're OK with that, fine, but it doesn't seem to me that you are.


        • Or, it could be exhibitionism.

          Well, I just encourage you to communicate about it. That may provide the peace of mind you need, or you may learn that this isn't right for you, or it isn't even fun any more.


          • Rahul, your words are clear. There is something wrong here. Anca, I hope you are careful.


            • Thanks for all your reactions (and concerns haha).

              Well I've had a talk with him about it. He gets aroused when I show him to other girls, not because he digs them, but because it shows I own him. As I said, this relationship is all sex, so it's not something I'd have been heartbroken about otherwise.

              Anyway, he wants to be a slave, so he is one now. I have placed him in chastity, and it's never bad having someone cleaning your house


              • You two are made for each other.


                • I'm a guy and I think it's hot when a woman shares pictures with her friends. A girl I dated had a friend who would ask to see pics. She also enjoyed me showing my friends pictures and videos. It's great turning people on


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