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Am I taking partners PMDD too personally?

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  • Beeface77 - Thank you for sharing your story here.

    He really put you between a rock and a hard place by telling you he doesn't want to be with someone who takes antidepressants. If that could help this problem, and this problem is what has ruined your marriage, I don't understand not wanting you to try it.

    I do understand that the rollercoaster of what you're describing must be incredibly difficult and taxing on him, too. Severe PMDD is almost like a personality disorder in that your partner doesn't really know what he's going to get from one moment to the next. In general, most people (PMDD sufferers included) seek some sort of balance and consistency. With this disorder, you cannot have that because one minute you're angry and yelling and the next you're sorry, apologizing, and loving. In other words, I can absolutely see where this condition, left untreated, would be the ruin of almost any marriage.

    That is why I don't understand him not wanting you to try some sort of treatment. I guess it all goes back to his belief that this is all just something you do, not something out of your control.

    Have you tried other methods (birth control pills, CBD oil, SamE, etc.)?

    While you were visiting your family, did you fight with them like you do with him?

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I want you to commit to getting better, with OR without him. You deserve that.
    "Be what you're looking for."


    • I agree with Ashlee T. post. She's hit the nail on the head.

      I have found your post, Beeface77 very interesting. In spite of your PMDD, you are still aware of it and realize it is out of your control. Any kind of health problem is deeply stressful for everyone involved. And you can't "change" no matter how much your partner tells you to. You are definitely a victim of PMDD.

      I do hope Beeface77 that if your relationship does end, that you find someone who understands you and wants to support you. No one is to blame for a mental health problem.

      Anyhow, an important post, Ashlee T.


      • Beeface77
        thank you for sharing on here. Its so helpful to hear from the other side to what I'm experiencing not just for me but so that others reading this can see the full picture.
        I've stuck with my relationship as my partner has been getting more help and things have improved. The loving times are lasting longer and there is a little less of the anger and pushing me away. It's still not always easy as her emotions can change drastically in an instant and sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells . she will now sometimes talk a little about what's happened afterwards and though she may not apologies for her actions she does now and again thank me for understanding which makes me feel great, not for being thanked but knowing she's getting more of an understanding or acceptance , I dont know which is the best word to use, of what she's going through. She can still make me feel like the love of her life one day and unwanted the next , which can be damaging and I do worry about what it's doing to my self esteem, which I'm looking to get some help with . I do believe though, well most of the time, that her personality is being controlled by her PMDD and she needs understanding and whatever help I can give. I know I could be proved wrong in the long term but she's worth taking the chance for.
        I do hope everything works out for you and your husband Beeface77 obviously I don't know him at all but the one bit of advice I'd give him is just to try and educate himself on the condition before giving up on the relationship and to you You have my total respect as I don't think I could cope as well as you do if i was suffering from a similar condition, you are very self aware which is a trait a lot of people lack and you ask for understanding and not pity . Wish you all the best


        • You're a very understanding man, Worried Man Blues. Your partner is lucky to have you. I am glad she is receiving the treatment she needs.

          I hope she realizes how lucky she is to have you.


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