Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I am just not physically attracted.

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • Victaga
    started a topic I am just not physically attracted.

    I am just not physically attracted.

    So I have been in a relationship for about 7 years, and I have known the guy forever. He is attracted to me in every way possible...I however have never actually been physically attracted to him, but he is a good guy, and we have a fun time being around each other...for me I feel about him like a best friend. The reason I ended up in a relationship with him, is like I said, he is an awesome guy, super sweet to me and puts up with all of my crazy emotional ways and such. But lately it has gotten so much harder for me to enjoy the time we are intimate together, which he is the only guy I have ever done so with, now I have always considered myself bi- sexual, and started to think maybe all this meant I was not attracted to guys at all...but that cannot be completely true as there have been guys that I have never been with, but when I am around them, I feel an attraction and desire I have never felt for this guy. Another thing is, anytime I know we will probably be intimate, I feel a feeling of discomfort, and as much as I hate to say it, disgust. He is not a gross person, he has good hygiene and everything and he is not bad looking, but I have always felt this way. It has gotten to the point of me having thoughts of cheating, but I never want to hurt him...I wanted to get some other ladies opinions and advice. What should I do? I might add that things have gotten worse since an ex girlfriend came back in to my life. He thinks she is an old friend...and it is causing me a lot of confusion on what to do emotionally. I feel guilty even though I have not done anything.

  • MrMr
    replied
    I couldn't imagine having sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. I'd hate for a woman to have sex with me if she didn't

    Leave a comment:


  • MrMr
    replied
    You should always love seeing your partner naked

    Leave a comment:


  • MrMr
    replied
    Have you tried telling him to make more of an effort to be attractive? He doesn't need a 6 pack for you to find him desirable again.

    Leave a comment:


  • Popcorn&Candy
    replied
    How have things panned out now, Victaga?

    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    A great relationship will have a spark that sets it above other relationships. It sounds like you are missing that in this relationship.

    Leave a comment:


  • Popcorn&Candy
    replied
    I agree with Ashlee. T. You're not doing yourself or him any favours by staying in a relationship neither of you are happy in. Yes: there are nice people in the world, but you're just torturing yourself by staying with him out of guilt. You deserve happiness, too: and if you're unhappy with him, why put yourself [and him] through that? He needs to be with someone who is mad about him and you are depriving him of that. If you truly care for him, you will let him fly free and let him be happy.

    I am not trying to be patronizing, but if you truly respect him, that is what I would do.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ashlee T.
    replied
    Hi again, Victaga!

    Well, I'm not one to beat around the bush so I'm just going to put it out there: This is NOT a relationship. 7 years? It is extremely unfair to BOTH of you to continue on in a relationship where you are depriving each other of true chemistry and connection.

    There are lots of nice people in the world. There are lots of good people. That is not a good enough reason to be in a relationship with someone.

    In any relationship, there will be "dry periods" where you just aren't feeling super sexual. But that is much different than knowing and admitting to yourself that you are not and have not ever been truly attracted to this person. You must realize that continuing on in a relationship like that is extremely unfair to you both.

    Perhaps a breakup with hurt you both. But you will move past that. It is better to hurt now and move on than to spend your life with someone who isn't attracted to you (in his case) or with someone you aren't attracted to (in your case). You may never know it, but he will thank you, down the road when he is in a relationship with someone who is truly crazy about him. It just isn't fair and you're not doing yourself or him any favors by continuing this on.

    Step up to the plate and do the right thing here, girl.

    Leave a comment:

Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

Latest Posts in Our Forums

Collapse

  • Vagina Itch

    Hi, im having a vagina itch without discharge. It started a few days before my period, Im having period now and the itchiness is still on going. Is this...

    Today, 12:40 AM By lucy
  • Reply to What Is Your Favourite Perfume?

    I like a light scent, nothing over powering and usually a natural smell, like a floral. I do have a bottle of a Calvin Klein fragrance, I think it is....

    Yesterday, 06:36 PM By atskitty2
  • Reply to Eyebrows!

    I groom my brows. I pluck to maintain a nice, clean shape, then fill in some thinning areas with a powder or pencil. That's about it. Color matching is...

    Yesterday, 06:33 PM By atskitty2
  • Reply to Birth Control / Migraines, etc.

    Who is to say that your mother/sisters/grandmother and whoever else suffers from migraines don't ALSO have food allergies or food intolerances? Those...

    Yesterday, 09:56 AM By Ashlee T.
  • Reply to Birth Control / Migraines, etc.

    Thanks Ashlee! It's funny you mention that because I actually have SIBO and have been trying to address food issues to see what might be the culprit....

    Yesterday, 08:22 AM By lp84

Latest Topics in Our Forums

Collapse

  • Vagina Itch

    Hi, im having a vagina itch without discharge. It started a few days before my period, Im having period now and the itchiness is still on going. Is this...

    Today, 12:40 AM By lucy
  • What Is Your Favourite Perfume?

    Mine is Clinique Happy.

    Over to you!

    Yesterday, 05:50 AM By Popcorn&Candy
  • Eyebrows!

    What's YOUR style? Bold and full? Thin and groomed? I keep mine the latter. Still, full brows look fabulous on many women and I love the eyebrow makeup/grooming...

    Yesterday, 05:47 AM By Popcorn&Candy
  • Birth Control / Migraines, etc.

    Hi Guys!


    Wondering if I can get some advice here. I was on Yasmin for years and about a year ago switched to Lo Loestrin because my...

    07-22-2019, 09:59 AM By lp84
  • Any remedy to kill cramps during periods?

    I’m 22 years old, and my cramps have always been very bad to the point that I throw up and miss school or practice. Is something wrong with me, because...

    07-22-2019, 05:40 AM By jehand
Working...
X