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instant family??

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  • instant family??

    Well, ive been with my bf for about 4 months... and he was working across the street from this house where he would hear a mother yelling at her child.. so he felt that something was wrong, so he called the cops.. well this happed a few times, he didnt call everytime, and the social services came and took the child away.. so for the past month this poor little girl has been moving from house to house being very uncomfortable. And, in a couple of weeks, she will go to court for her mom to get back custody.. but in the mean time, my man doesnt want this girl to miss anymore school, and be in a safe, comfortable, positive environment. so he wants to foster this child until then.... well this is very extravigant to me.. and i want to help, but he would be working nights, and i would be working mornings, and picking her up after she gets out of school.. ive never met this child, and i would have to move in his house... is it selfish of me to not want to take this responsibility?? even if its only temporary, ( but could be permanant if mother doesnt get custody!) Im not sure how to handle this.. Im 23 and he is 32. I have been preparing to be a mother, somewhat mentally, but its so sudden, and life changing.. ????
    Unfortunatly, we have been having problems with the social workers, they have been giving us the "run around" so nothings forsure... IS THIS CRAZY???? or is it just me??

  • Wow! this story really touched my heart!! It's great that you and your boyfriend have gotten this girl out of danger! It seems that your boyfriend has bonded with the little girl in a "daddy" kind of way. It's great to be doing such a GREAT thing for this little girl!!! However, I totally understand your concerns....I am almost 21 and although I want kids in the future, I don't want any now. On the other hand, you could alter the situation a little. What do I mean? Instead of trying to be a mother and father of this child, you could both try to be like an older sister or older brother to her. If she is taken away after a month, it won't be as dramatic for her and she'll know that she has two people who really care for her. I think it would be great to take care of this little girl for a while. Take advantage of the opportunity and take her to the zoo, go shopping, go for ice cream, have fun with her!!! It will also help to take her mind off of all the pain she might be experiencing!


    • I know this reply might be a little late, but I wanted to throw my two cents in.

      I am not so sure that is a good idea. I mean, I am 100% for adoption no matter what, but I noticed that you have only been with your boyfriend for 4 months and you don't even live together. I know from friend's and my own experience that just moving in together is a huge step and some times disastrous. You can't truly know someone until you have lived with them for a good while. Not to say that you two would have problems, but you just never know. It would only make the situation worse for everyone if you brought this little girl into a home that neither of you have ever even shared together. What happens if you live together and find out that you just aren't meant to be?

      Also, the fact that you two are working different hours might only put more stress on the girl as well as both of you. Raising a child that could very well have emotional problems is going to be a HUGE responsibillity.

      I hate to come across as uncaring about this child's situation because I am not like that at all, but I just think it could be a bad idea for all of you. I think you need to at least move in with him first, live together for a bit, and then think about adopting a child.

      Either way, best of luck to you and I truly hope the little girl finds a home!


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