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How to tell your parents that your pregnant

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  • How to tell your parents that your pregnant

    Im 17. I found out today that I am pregnant. I just dont know how to go about telling my parents. Mom is a nice and understanding woman, but is very ill currently and stressed out to the max. Dad is an ignorant military man who would be disgusted if he knew. I dont know what to do.

    Should I wait to tell them ? I will be moving out of home soon, so should I wait till after I do that to tell them ?

    Havent told the father yet, 'but he will know by the end of this weekend. My bestfriends know and are here to support me 100%

  • I would arrange for a place that you can go to and stay for either short-term or long-term just in case your parents decide to kick you out. That way you have a place to go to and constant support. If they don't, then that's good. I don't know what or how your family communicates, but perhaps sitting them down and telling them at the same time would be best. If you feel that you would be physically hurt, have a friend there with you. The worst they can do is kick you out and yell at you and you had mentioned that you would be moving out soon anyway. I guess if it were me I would say "I have something to tell you and it's probably going to upset you. I am pregnant. I didn't intend for this to happen, but it did and it is what it is and I hope I have your full support." From there I guess I'd see what their response is.

    Hope I helped a little...good luck and if you need any support you know we're always here!

    Comment


    • In your position, I would definitely wait until I was 18 and moved out.

      I'd also tell mom, then let her tell dad. After all, she chose him; you didn't. If he's as bad as you say, ignorant and unsupportive, then you'll be doing yourself a favor.
      <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

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      • Thanks guys, Thats really helpfull. Unfortunitly Im due 3 months after I turn 18 so I will probably have a belly by then :/ I guess only time will tell what will happen

        Comment


        • You could also look into getting emancipated. Ask your guidance counselor at school about it (only if s/he agrees to keep it between you and her.) I'm not sure about the specific criteria you need to fulfill, but I imagine you will have to have a job and be able to move out of your parents' house in order to make it happen.
          <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

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          • woah woah woaaahhhh down a moment!! Before you run away from home and hide away in a dark corner for the rest of your pregnancy maybe you should just bite your lip and come clean to your mum. I mean, yes she could be insane mad at you and throw pots and pans at you and chase you out the door, but what if she turns around and says that she loves you and will support you no matter what choices you make with the baby? How hurt will your mum be if you instantly assume the worst and make a dash for it?

            Also consider the maturity of your actions, your parents will probably respect you more for coming clean than running off and putting unecessary strain on the baby.

            Maybe a safer route would be to seek help from another close family member, someone who may be able to gage how your parents may respond in a more intuitive way?

            The point made earlier about making sure there's somewhere you can stay is a good one, just in case things don't go how you want them too. The last thing you're going to need is to be homeless and hungry. So keep your friends close by and let them be therefore you taking some of the strain too, I mean thats what good friends are there for! Also keep your boyfriend on side, you're very young right now and pregnancies can put giant strains on even the most mature and secure relationships, so try and not cause any unneeded stress or tension there.

            Also please remember, no matter what happens, chucked out and ignored or kept and looked after, your mum and dad are your parents, they love you unconditionally and they're only going to act whatever way because they want the best for you. Sometimes parents get scared and upset and think throwing the problem away will make it better, but this isn't because they don't love you.

            Comment


            • Wait till you move out. Then tell your mom get her to talk to your dad, BUT you should still talk to your dad. Even if he sounds ignorant at least you tried. Do you think the baby dad will be supportive? remember sometimes they don't react the way we want too, so you still should have your mom at least on your side.

              Comment


              • My ex got pregnant (by her ex) when her mother was in hospital with breast cancer and she made the decision to tell her then. She was surprised at how supportive she was. It's YOUR body and YOUR decision.

                I think if I were in hospital I'd be quite pleased to find out I was going to be a granddad. Your dad needs to come to terms with the fact you're not a child anymore, and to make the decision whether or not he's going to step up and be there for you and his grandchild or be a stubborn prick. If I had a daughter I'd HATE to think that she felt to afraid to come and talk to me, especially a a time in her life when she needed me the most.

                You're lucky to have great friends, I hope the father steps up to the plate too.

                Move out, tell mum, make awkward phone call to father and let him choose his course of action, get on with life and focus on being a GREAT mother. In that order.

                Good luck x
                "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

                Comment


                • Let's all keep in mind this thread was started by the OP in November of 2011, meaning she conceived in October 2011. Whether or not she kept the secret from her parents is a moot point by now, given the timeline of human gestation.

                  pdsky, if you're around and want to give us an update, please do! Obviously your post from last year is still drawing interest! Let us know how everything went

                  Comment


                  • Thread closed because the OP couldn't, temporally, have this issue anymore.
                    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

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