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a mother in need of help.

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  • a mother in need of help.

    First off I am a mother to a beautiful 3 yr old little girl. She is my world and my life. My reason for existance. However it is because of me and my ex husband that she hasnt had the easiest life. Me and my husband are enlisted in the military and our deployment's are at a high rate. When she was born my ex husband was deployed, he didnt come home until she was four months old. Four months after he returned home I had to leave for my deployment. I was gone for 8 months. Four months after I got home my ex husband left for another deployment. When he returned home he learned his mother was sick and recieved orders to go to Hawaii. He took our daughter with him because I felt as if it was the humane and kind thing to do. Our daughter is the only grandchild on both sides of the family and I believe it would do some good to know our daughter was there with his mom in her final weeks. She returned back to me 5 months after being in Hawaii. I just learned last week im leaving next month for another deployment. Well now you know the story of my daughters life. To my main concern. When she was a year and a half after i got home from my deployment she started sleep walking and throwing night tantrums while sleeping. As soon as i would scoop her up she would start to snore again. be in a peaceful state. I never woke her up from sleepwalking i just guided her back to her bed. I would never dream of waking her up. I made an appointment for her and the doctor said she would assume stress and it would pass. It did. Well since my daughter has been home. It has progressly gotten worst. She has isomnia. Shes not sleeping well at night and according to her daycare provider she isnt doing well with naps. Her eating habits have gotten worst as well. Its getting to the point i would give her cheese puffs just so i know she has something in her stomach. I made an appointment to have her PCM check her out. I was thinking maybe she is getting sick posible ear infection. She stated there is nothing physically wrong with her. Im lost. I suggested to my ex husband i seek proffesional help. A child development therapist. First thing he did was blame fingers at me and say she never did any of this with him. And that he didnt like the idea of our daughter getting help in that manner at such a young age. I asked my mother for advice she suggested moving her mattress into my room and letting her sleep near me. I have come to find out it doesnt matter if my daughter is sleeping in the same room with me or not she will sleep walk and sleep tantrum. The other night was the worst. She was throwing a sleep tantrum and she made herself throw up. SHE WAS SLEEPING.She wasnt aware of what was going on. If there is anyone who can help please help me.

  • I would have the pediatrician you're taking her to refer you to one who may be able to help more.

    I'm not sure what your ex's issue is with seeking counseling. Perhaps he thinks there's a stigma associated with it? You're little girl has had a tumultuous life, she might need someone who can help her make sense of these things...


    • My Daughter ( Now 22 ) used to have night terrors, From about 10 months to 2 3/4 years old, she'd wake up screaming and when I'd pick her up she'd hit me and kick and Squirm. She wasn't " Awake", I'd try to give her a Popsicle ( her favorite thing ever ) and she'd still Hit, Scream and Kick. That's how I knew she wasn't really awake, because a Popsicle cured all Boo Boo's for her

      I had taken her to the DR.when she was 8 months because I saw her "twitching her eyes and hands " at the same time. It was Very subtle, but would happen occasionally.
      They did an EEG, actually several of them, and found abnormalities in her brain waves, that caused the " Twitching ". Night Terrors started about 10 months old, when her brain had developed and she was learning to walk and more active, than just being in a Swing or Play Pen, Walker toy or car seat .

      She was Diagnosed with GSD. General Seizure Disorder. They thought she had hit her head, had rolled the couch or was Dropped, therefore hitting her head. There were no times I knew of that that could have happened ,( the head injury ).

      They put her on Phenobarbital for the Mini Seizures , Mind you she never had Big Jerking Seizures, just small Twitches and with the Meds she had less of them, her Night Terrors continued, though she didn't Sleep Walk like yours.

      At 2 years old they switched her to Tegratol and the Night Terrors, calmed down . At 3 , they did another EEG and all was normal. She had outgrown the GSD somehow. They said the Night Terrors were most likely from the Disturbance in electrical activity in the brain while at rest. The Brain would be asleep but the Electrical Disturbance would " startle " her and confuse her Brain. And that caused the " terror " feeling and her Body would react in a Defensive manner, though the brain was still in sleep mode.

      My Daughter did not have " Epilepsy " they said there are over 100 different " Seizure Disorders ", that is why they called it General instead of Epileptic.

      Do some Research, find out if she has ever fallen, hit her head,bonked it on a table, been shaken or dropped . Have the Dr.s do an EEG on her. With being in the Military you have some medical resources that Civilians don't get as Easily. So Push and Demand an Neurological workup, including the EEG and even a Night Study EEG, where they keep her over night.

      Counseling will help, but only after you do a Medical Diagnosis. Proper Meds will help also. Hopefully your daughter will outgrow them like Mine Did .

      Your Daughters Health is Utmost. Get to the root of the Problem, It could be Medical. Stay Strong and don't play the " Blame Game " with Ex Hubby. Explain my story to your PCM, have her do some Research on GSD herself . Once Educated things are easier to understand and Control and " Cure or Treat ".
      Good Luck Sweetie.

      **** On a Note, we discovered that her head injury was most likely caused in the Womb. When I was 8 months along, I slipped and fell in a Grocery Store. They think she hit her head on my Hip bone, when we hit the floor, as I was very Small, size wise for the 8 months along and there wasn't allot of Ambiotic Fluid in the Sack. So they feel she did have a " Head Injury " that caused the Seizures.

      And I know how it feels to have your Child in Terror, and you not being able to help her . Because she's Not Awake, not feeling the Love you are giving ...


      • I totally agree whit KMonte, seek better help!
        Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.
        Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

        ~ Mary Jean Irion ~


        • To me it sounds like separation anxiety disorder (SAD). It may be she has really attached to her father.
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


          • You better ask for professional help for your baby's sake.


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