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my 15 year Special Needs son having accidents

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  • my 15 year Special Needs son having accidents

    Hi im New here
    My son who is a bit. Special Needs Started having accidents. Pee pooping his pants. Hes Blind in one eye. Was born 3 months early. Has mild learning. Problems.
    The first time it happened. me My Daughter whos 12 was in the car i noticed a smell. My daughter Started giggling. My son looked embarrassed
    sobbing wet pooped himself. I thought nothing of it one of those things. Then it happened again. The other day i was having a bath came out the bath i saw my son with his hand on his bum walking funny. there's been a couple of nights with wet beds.

    Just wondering what todo


  • I want to respond to you in full but unfortunately I'm tied up right now. Suffice to say, for the moment, I too had a child at 28 weeks gestation and I know the trials and tribulations that can arise from such early births. I'll get back to you tomorrow when I have time to fully develop my response to your quandry.
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.


    • Just some background on my son - born at 28 weeks gestation (3 months early) weight at birth 2.4 pounds. Given the immaturity of his lungs he was given high doses of oxygen and had apnea (absence of breathing) to the point where he was placed on a rocker bed in the incubator and was perpetually rocked 24 hours a day. The oxygen provided helped him breath; unfortunately high concentrations of oxygen can cause retinal damage so from the time he was 3 months old, he's been registered as technically blind. He has worn glasses since that time.

      We were extremely lucky in that his problems have all been physical and center around his vision problems -- he has no cognitive difficulties. He didn't do really well in school (barely graduated) but this was because reading for him is a real chore. He is a very bright, articulate man today.

      So that's me and him.

      Now to you and your son.

      As a premie they are prone to all sorts of physical difficulties and it appears your son has received his share. Can you speak to him about what is going on? It would seem as if there had been no problems with his bowels up until now that something is going on and has only recently started. Has he ever complained about stomach problems? About difficulty passing urine or defecating? Does he have a rumbling in his lower stomach? Does he have pain in his lower stomach that he's not told you about or that he has complained about, even mildly?

      It could be that he has diverticulitis - this can be in many forms but generally a weakness in the bowel sets up a perfect storm for loose stools, and/or pain that is only relieved by going to the washroom. It can cause infections and all types of problems.

      It could be that he has Crones disease, in which case he probably would appear quite slim and again have diarhea frequently and pain in his stomach.

      He could have under-developed areas in his body that are only giving him issues now that he is reach his maximum growth years.

      The fourth option is a little more delicate but if the previous and other physical issues have been ruled out you should consider talking to him about sexual abuse to see if there is any indication of this going on.

      Speak to him as matter-of-factly about what is happening as you can, no judgements, he is probably embarrassed enough as it is. Having mild learning problems shouldn't enter into this at all and in all likelihood has no impact on what has happened.

      Is there a chance that he simply was ill?

      There is much to discover here, and once you can narrow things down a bit, then I'd probably take him to a doctor for further diagnosis. In the mean time, talk to him, reassure him, and if necessary send him to school with a change of underwear so that if he has an accident he can take care of it and feel comfortable. Just tuck them into his backpack or let the nurse/or/principal be aware of the situation.

      Let me know how you get on and what you discover.

      I believe you must have a certain number of posts prior to making a private message, but if you can private message me here on this forum please do so.
      That which we forget may as well never really happened.


      • Wow thanks that's really helpful I'll try and message you most if your son sounds the same as mine he said he feels tummy rumbling at nright time feels gasy now and agine
        my son as problems reading spelling can talk ok but seems go off in a paddy cos not get his own way or he not understand fully he always thinks the worst his cup half empty person not half full gets worried if something nit going on time in his little schedule he's made through out the day doesn't like change does that sound the same as your son or any one else's prem born baby child


        • I am so sorry to hear this. Have you talked to the doctor at all? I will keep you in my prayers!


          • Thanks thinking about putting back in diapers what ones would be best what's the best way of telling him that he would be better off in a diaper easier to clean change and wonte be as in embarrassing for him if he has a accident


            • If you want to degrade him, dehumanize him, put him up for ridicule at school, then go ahead and put him in diapers. His peers and friends at school are more likely to accept that he has a medical problem (should it happen again) than you putting him in diapers and then they find that out.

              You have to feed him foods high in fiber at this point, nothing that will create gas and bloating or loose stools. You must first of all get him to a doctor.
              That which we forget may as well never really happened.


              • I know it's hard he goes to special needs school there's 1 or 2 who wear diapers had a phone call from his school that he had aanother accident took him see conternice nurse they gave us some laxative tablets for the constipation and some tables to slow kidneys down for night time bed wetting they said to try him on theses also had blood tests and urination test


                • Im sorry. Whats the best diaper for a 15 year old.


                  • This is a question that you should ask the school, especially given that they have the experience with this, or you could as, your doctor.
                    That which we forget may as well never really happened.


                    • Originally posted by Claret View Post
                      This is a question that you should ask the school, especially given that they have the experience with this, or you could as, your doctor.
                      I spoke to the school and the nurses. They suggest that. Putting him in diapers. Would make it easer for them.It will also make it easer for me as well


                      • You know your son best so I'm sure you'll do what is best for him.
                        That which we forget may as well never really happened.


                        • I just think it be best for him and easer for me and the school
                          How should i go about telling him.About the idea. Whats the best way ? He might get in a paddy. Strom off. Or get upset about the idea


                          • Hi,
                            Try being as honest as possible that the pads are for his accidents and will help keep his clothes etc dry and clean. Explain how other children and adults have to wear them. Use a reward scheme when he wears them, this is so difficult for a 15 year old boy to come to terms with. Lots of praise and encouragement.
                            Do the school assist him in toileting often enough??? Please try dr's as well as may be other options such as medication that controls his constipation and then the accidents may stop. Urinary infections can cause incontinence has he had his urine checked? I hope that nappies won't become a permanent solution.
                            Good luck


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