Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

New Mother Blues

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • New Mother Blues

    I Have An 8 Month Old And He Cries For Me And He Only Wants Me And Nobody Else Not Even His Dad, And It Is Making His Dad Feel Unwanted So What Can I Do To Open Him Up To People And Not Be So Attached To Me Please Anyone Help.

  • I would think that the only way to deal with that would be to have the father spend more time with the baby. When the baby cries, he needs to go comfort the baby and not you. If you are taking the baby from the father because it won't stop crying, then you are enforcing that behavior. The baby will start to think... "if I cry, mom will take me". The dad needs to take part in everything that you do with the baby. Changing, bathing, rocking, and all that good stuff.

    That would be my opinion anyway.

    Comment


    • funnily enough, my first was his daddy's son. No one else would do.
      It was his father's fault for always carrying him around, as if they
      were joined at the hip. I warned my husband not to do it. Leave
      the child, stop making the child so dependent on him, but he
      never listened.

      I am sure my first son is the way he is...(screwed up) due to
      his father's treatment.

      There is going to come a time in your life when you can't
      be pandering to the child. You might work, you might be
      somewhere else, the child might be in school...
      this dependency on one person is destructive, and anyway
      you can end it...do it now.

      Comment


      • I'm sorry but i don't find this destructive, i find it to be normal behavior of an 8 month old baby. I have 4 children and they all went through it. my oldest is now 8 and loves to be with his daddy. Assure your husband that this will pass. Maybe not now, maybe not in a week or a month but as long as he is involved in his life and continues to show him love and affection, he will reap the benefits, even if its not for a little while. Your son is a baby, he will be 8 in a blink of an eye. don't worry yourself about this, please. Love him and continue to build his trust in you as a safe place and he will get past his dependency. For now just wallow in the old saying that no one is better than mommy!

        Comment


        • Hi there, this is my first time in the forum. I have a 10 month old baby girl and went through something similar. She wanted mostly to be with me and cried when she saw "strangers", I'm talking grampies here. But there isn't really a reason to be frustrated. A lot of babies go through some sort of separation anxiety at about the 6 month mark...so I've heard. This helped me just expose her to others a lot, but always making sure that if she needed me she could count on my comfort. I'm sure that with time you have to help your child gain confidence and independence, but that is done gradually, depending on the child's development and age. I don't believe you should ignore a crying baby. I think it can only create more anxiety. Whether its mommy or daddy getting the cold shoulder from baby, believe me, it will pass.

          Comment



          • I have three.

            The first, the father made dependent on him to
            the extent he cried for his father exclusively.

            When his father carried on with his life, the child
            felt rejected although he was surrounded by family.

            I avoided this with my second, so that he was
            virtually comfortable with anyone, and my third
            is the perfect example of a cheerful outgoing
            happy child, because I enforced the 'open'
            relationship so that she would not feel dependent
            soley on me or her father.

            The first married and divorced and seems to
            have a trust problem

            The second married, made me a grandmother,
            seems very well balanced.

            The third is getting married, and her confidence
            is enviable.

            Making a child too dependent on one person
            turns out badly. In Sanaii's case, it is her.
            She must wean the child from her, no matter
            the crying, the reluctance, eight month old
            children...even new borns are usually 'friendly'.

            Eight months is old enough for the child not
            to be so insecure.


            Comment


            • I would have to disagree Kaylar. Sorry but I think this is healthy. I think the mommy is doing something right in order for that baby to want her all the time. So what if that baby is dependent on her. ALL babies depend on someone right? I mean why is this a bad thing? I can see why your husband would want some attention. So include daddy in on play time, have daddy join you for baithing time, and bed time. If daddy wants to be closer with baby, then daddy needs to be with mommy when she does all the important stuff baby needs. That's just my oppinion. I was attached to my mother and now I can't stand her and my father pretty much has nothing to do with me early on in life and now we are closer than ever. I am going to Nursing school which I am fixing to get my Bachelor's, I am happily married to the same man, I am preparing for my first child, and I am having a blast looking at homes to buy. I didn't turn out to bad. I can understand where Kaylar is coming from. Everyone has a different oppinion on the matter but you know your child best. Take the advice and handle it as you see fit. Have a great day darling. Hope all works out!
              Miracles Happen

              Comment



              • I've had to deal with a lot of babies in my life; not just mine.

                The confident baby grows up to the be a confident child,
                and a confident human being.

                Most babies are social. They are held without crying by
                everyone. A friend comes over, the baby has no problem
                even though he/she has never see that person before.

                You can do a test, just go to any pedatrician's office and
                see how the babies behave. Most don't mind going from
                hand to hand. Most don't have any fear of people.

                Comment


                • I need some one to talk to i think im have baby blues or just being parionia.

                  here's the story,

                  I left my boyfriend for two weeks to visit his mother in baton rouge,la i left april 10 came back on the 25 th but before i left i counted the condoms that were in the bathroom. we have a 7th month old daughter. i came back and assused him of sleeping with someone. because i looked at the phone bill and there was all these calls why i was gone it turn out to be a girl. I called him up and was like what is this ***** calling you for. he said what ***** , i said heidi he said that his friend was using her phone and the he was doing some air condition unit at her condo's and that i guess his friend phone was messing up. i said to him that i dnt care if its your friend calling from her the phone and the text need to stop and if she calls the shop or your phone im ****ing gone!! he says that he loves me and doesnt want to be with anyone else and ive talked to a few other people and they say that all he talks about is how much he loves me.

                  my boyfriend has his own business and its a motorcylce business and he has to drum up business by going to the bars. we had a baby and started up a business and move to another state in all one shot. he' always stressed out trying to provied for us. and since we moved out here i have know friends or family and im always checking up on him to see where he is since we moved out here. im always at hm with the baby. when we got in the fight he said if he wanted to **** around that he could anytime,but he says that he loves me and wants to be with me and wants to marry me someday and we have been together for two yrs may the 4th. i dnt know what to do anymore. his mom says that he talks about how much loves me

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by imported_SANAII View Post
                    I Have An 8 Month Old And He Cries For Me And He Only Wants Me And Nobody Else Not Even His Dad, And It Is Making His Dad Feel Unwanted So What Can I Do To Open Him Up To People And Not Be So Attached To Me Please Anyone Help.
                    i would say u go out for the nite and leave him with his dad he should get the idea just tel his dad to play with him make funny faces ect.. hope it works

                    Comment


                    • I think babies tend to do that.

                      They are used to their mommies, the caregiver, and the get stuck on them! It's their way of feeling secure.

                      Just start having different family come over and spend time with the baby so that the baby starts getting used to other people being around.
                      The baby will always know who mommy and daddy are; but you don't want them to be too afraid of other family members.

                      Your baby will be just fine.


                      For Nicpatonbabe,

                      How long have you felt this way about your b/f? Has he given you reason NOT to trust him? Do you have proof, or is it just the phone bills that make you accuse him of being unfaithful?

                      If he's not going outside of your relationship, then you're causing a rift between the 2 of you. If you have proof, then you need to make a decision, because your child is going to pick up on the tension between you 2 and that's not good for any child.
                      Last edited by JubesInquest; 08-31-2007, 10:18 AM.

                      Comment

                      Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                      Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

                      Latest Posts in Our Forums

                      Collapse

                      • Do You Volunteer?

                        I have done so for many years.

                        I work at a charity and have been there for over 10 years. I must admit, I love the work. Admittedly, I don't...

                        Today, 03:15 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Do You Pluck Your Eyebrows?

                        I certainly do.

                        I like the thinner brow look. I have beautiful eyes and feel my brows frame my face. I love having groomed, neat eyebrows....

                        Today, 03:08 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Fabulous New Boots!

                        I very recently bought myself a gorgeous pair of black leather boots. I spent a good 20 minutes making the decision and don't regret it!

                        ...

                        Today, 03:02 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Soon To Have Therapy

                        I've been in a really mixed-up place lately. So I have spoken to my doctor and she is referring me for counselling. I shall also be seeing a psychologist....

                        Today, 02:59 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Do You Play The Postcode Lottery?

                        I do! Although I have not won anything yet. Still, it is worth the chance of winning some money.

                        What about you? What are your reasons for...

                        Today, 02:53 AM By Popcorn&Candy

                      Latest Topics in Our Forums

                      Collapse

                      • Do You Volunteer?

                        I have done so for many years.

                        I work at a charity and have been there for over 10 years. I must admit, I love the work. Admittedly, I don't...

                        Today, 03:15 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Do You Pluck Your Eyebrows?

                        I certainly do.

                        I like the thinner brow look. I have beautiful eyes and feel my brows frame my face. I love having groomed, neat eyebrows....

                        Today, 03:08 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Fabulous New Boots!

                        I very recently bought myself a gorgeous pair of black leather boots. I spent a good 20 minutes making the decision and don't regret it!

                        ...

                        Today, 03:02 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Soon To Have Therapy

                        I've been in a really mixed-up place lately. So I have spoken to my doctor and she is referring me for counselling. I shall also be seeing a psychologist....

                        Today, 02:59 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      • Do You Play The Postcode Lottery?

                        I do! Although I have not won anything yet. Still, it is worth the chance of winning some money.

                        What about you? What are your reasons for...

                        Today, 02:53 AM By Popcorn&Candy
                      Working...
                      X