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Age to talk with kids

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  • Be nervous. There is nothing wrong with that.

    Read a book together. That is the easiest way. Just pause frequently and see if they have questions.

    Although I don't believe in abstinence till marriage, but you can encourage that lifestyle. The problem with it is that people/institutions who preach that, don't teach other sex ed. You need to provide your child a comprehensive sex education whether or not you teach abstinence until marriage. Also, if you preach this, your child will ask you if you practiced it. If you didn't, than you come off as a hypocrite and your words lose meaning to your child. Also, you need to explain why abstinence is better without putting down pre-marital sex. You don't want them to have a guilt complex if they do engage in sex.

    Read the resources I outlined below. They are very helpful in making you feel comfortable.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

    Comment


    • "your child probably already has been exposed to more than you think"

      you are probably right Stillness
      there are now a lot of kids in neighborhood and they are all playing together (boys and girls)
      and have no idea what they talk about

      Comment


      • One of the the books I use for children teaches abstinence. While it's not sex ed, it talks about the penis and the vulva and using them for pleasure.

        I think it is hypocritical to teach your kids that something is wrong if you're doing it or if you don't believe it, but not if it's a mistake you made in the past that you don't want them to make too. I teach all of my students, old and young, that sex outside marriage is wrong, even though I had sex before I was married. I truly believe it's the best way and it's how I live my life.
        "Those sowing seed with tears
        Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

        Comment


        • DreamP346


          wonder if the book you recommended "it's so amazing" is similar to "it's not the stork."

          I bought "it's not the stork" couple years ago and stuck it away somewhere, just need to find it
          reading the descriptions on amazon, it does seem like they are similar

          Comment


          • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
            DreamP346


            wonder if the book you recommended "it's so amazing" is similar to "it's not the stork."

            I bought "it's not the stork" couple years ago and stuck it away somewhere, just need to find it
            reading the descriptions on amazon, it does seem like they are similar
            It's a series. There are 3 for different ages.

            It's not the stork: 4 years
            It's so amazing: 7 years
            It's perfectly normal: 10 years

            I have all 3 and the kids read it multiple times.
            Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

            Comment


            • "It's not the stork" robie harris, found it
              says age 7 and up on back cover, so perfect for our child

              Comment


              • One thing is for sure, children aren't stupid. Yes, they will hear about sex from their classmates and work it out. Way before 12 years old. I believe they need to be educated at about 6-7 years old. Not the very serious stuff, but basic facts about sex and emotions. They also need to be taught that it's not OK for an adult to touch them in their private parts. There have been things like that happening and a child needs to know they deserve respect in mind and body.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                  "It's not the stork" robie harris, found it
                  says age 7 and up on back cover, so perfect for our child
                  DreamP346

                  started book this week, read the sex page last night, then asked if any questions
                  kid wanted to know more specifics than book but no questions threw me for a loop, phew

                  also, our child said no kids have mentioned sex so I said not to, that is parents job

                  it went way better than I expected with a book to read! I also said to wait until married
                  we'll continue book, keep talking, plus journal writing for just us which is going well

                  (husband was SO happy he was out of town last night)

                  Comment


                  • One thing is for sure, children aren't stupid. Yes, they will hear about sex from their classmates and work it out. Way before 12 years old. I believe they need to be educated at about 6-7 years old. Not the very serious stuff, but basic facts about sex and emotions. They also need to be taught that it's not OK for an adult to touch them in their private parts. There have been things like that happening and a child needs to know they deserve respect in mind and body.

                    Comment


                    • amy40 So glad it went well. I remember the first talk and how nervous I felt. Now it's just a normal conversation with our kids. Yesterday I was explaining the different between transgender and intersect and it was so natural. The more conversations you have, you start realizing how easy and necessary this conversation is.
                      Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

                      Comment



                      • husband just told me kid asked him "did you and mom do the s word" after he said yes, kid asked him "did you take off your underwear"
                        am so cracking up cause husband didn't want to have anything to do with sex ed

                        he is so not happy getting questions!

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                          husband just told me kid asked him "did you and mom do the s word" after he said yes, kid asked him "did you take off your underwear"
                          am so cracking up cause husband didn't want to have anything to do with sex ed

                          he is so not happy getting questions!
                          Hahaha, kids catch on quickly.
                          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                          ...
                          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                            husband just told me kid asked him "did you and mom do the s word" after he said yes, kid asked him "did you take off your underwear"
                            am so cracking up cause husband didn't want to have anything to do with sex ed

                            he is so not happy getting questions!
                            That is so funny. My kids also asked that when when we had our first talk, but their reaction was more "ewww" and they never wanted to bring it up again.
                            Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

                            Comment


                            • 12-13

                              Comment


                              • look what I found.

                                How to talk about it

                                Be calm and relaxed. It's not easy to keep from cringing when your child asks you what a "boner" is. Just do your best to speak calmly, so you can respect your child's natural curiosity without being judgmental.
                                Keep it simple. Answers to questions about conception and birth can be a bit more detailed for grade-schoolers, but you probably don't need to go into detail about sexual intercourse yet. And while you don't want to sound like a doctor, you should use appropriate language ("penis" and "vagina," not "wee-wee" or "pee-pee"). It will lessen the sense that sexual topics are off-limits and embarrassing.

                                "How are babies made? The dad has seeds, called sperm, which are made in the testes, in that special pouch of skin hanging behind his penis. Millions of tiny sperm are made there all the time. They get mixed with a white liquid called semen.

                                "The mom's eggs are inside her body, in her ovaries. Every month the mom's ovaries make an egg. When grownups make a baby, semen from the father's penis carries the sperm into the mother's womb. Just one sperm joins up with the egg, and that's the start of a new baby."

                                Your child may or may not be satisfied with that answer. Keep answering her questions as long as she shows interest, but don't overload her with information if her next comment is, "Okay. What's for dinner?"

                                Comment

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