Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

adoption

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • adoption

    for those coming to this site hoping for a family,
    please consider adoption

    there are many paths to adoption such as domestic, foster-to-adopt, and international adoption

    hoping that others would consider adoption
    every child deserves a family

  • there are still many adoption programs even though adoption is not in the news as much

    Comment



    • adoption is a wonderful way to start a family or add to your family

      Comment


      • people may think they might not be able to bond with an adopted child or that the child might not attach to them

        there are books and websites dedicated to the topic of attachment/ bonding

        Comment


        • I wanted to adopt since I was a teenager. Not sure why I never got it done.
          My ex husband and I had decided to adopt, went to the foster care facility in our city and did some checking into options. I should say that I did, in hindsight I can see his lack of interest.

          Obviously for the best that it didn't happen.

          I support adoption 100%, and I'm still open to doing it, though at my age, it's not likely to happen.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
            though at my age, it's not likely to happen.
            we know a family who adopted an older child (age7) this past year
            both are over 50

            Comment


            • Back then, I was maybe 35 and hubs would've been 37 and we were approaching the age limit then, as I believe it was 40...so I haven't even looked into it recently. Being single likely wouldn't help me either.

              Comment


              • there are singles who do adopt
                one would need to check with adoption agencies

                Comment


                • Adoption can be wonderful: for both the child/young adult and adult. My best friend was a foster child, as her mum had a mental illness. Of course, there can be difficulties but I agree it can be a good thing.

                  Comment


                  • every country has it's own rules re adoption
                    and in U.S. each state may have differing rules

                    our adoption required a home study and this is what I recall:

                    local fire dept checked our smoke detectors/ fire extinguishers
                    social worker looked at every level of house, also
                    we were asked if we owned guns
                    letter from employer of proof of job/ income
                    SAHM needed a statement, also even if no income
                    provide assets/liabilities as well as proof of insurances
                    FBI fingerprints and state fingerprints
                    child abuse clearance from every state lived in
                    autobiographies written
                    parenting classes as well as required reading
                    CPR classes
                    meeting with social worker 3 times and asked various questions: why adopting, parenting style, etc
                    interviewed by social worker as a couple and Individually
                    needed letters of reference
                    certified birth certificates and marriage certificate
                    medical physical which included blood work


                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                      every country has it's own rules re adoption
                      and in U.S. each state may have differing rules

                      our adoption required a home study and this is what I recall:

                      local fire dept checked our smoke detectors/ fire extinguishers
                      social worker looked at every level of house, also
                      we were asked if we owned guns
                      letter from employer of proof of job/ income
                      SAHM needed a statement, also even if no income
                      provide assets/liabilities as well as proof of insurances
                      FBI fingerprints and state fingerprints
                      child abuse clearance from every state lived in
                      autobiographies written
                      parenting classes as well as required reading
                      CPR classes
                      meeting with social worker 3 times and asked various questions: why adopting, parenting style, etc
                      interviewed by social worker as a couple and Individually
                      needed letters of reference
                      certified birth certificates and marriage certificate
                      medical physical which included blood work

                      So much inspection, whereas natural birth requires none of that. A list of reasons that I find adoption in the USA being discouraged.
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by jns View Post
                        A list of reasons that I find adoption in the USA being discouraged.
                        to make the process smoother, my recommendation is to use a local agency, who can help you with everything


                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by jns View Post
                          So much inspection, whereas natural birth requires none of that. .
                          I would find the physician inspections while pregnant and then delivery much more intrusive than any of the social worker questions we had to answer


                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                            local fire dept checked our smoke detectors/ fire extinguishers
                            social worker looked at every level of house, also
                            we were asked if we owned guns
                            letter from employer of proof of job/ income
                            SAHM needed a statement, also even if no income
                            provide assets/liabilities as well as proof of insurances
                            FBI fingerprints and state fingerprints
                            child abuse clearance from every state lived in
                            autobiographies written
                            parenting classes as well as required reading
                            CPR classes
                            meeting with social worker 3 times and asked various questions: why adopting, parenting style, etc
                            interviewed by social worker as a couple and Individually
                            needed letters of reference
                            certified birth certificates and marriage certificate
                            medical physical which included blood work
                            I find this list to be extreme.
                            I grew up in a house without fire detectors and without fire extinguishers. It never caught fire.
                            Are social workers certified or have a background in looking at houses such as a contractor or qualified safety expert would have? Is the homeowner indemnified for defects not found?
                            What do guns have to do with anything? Why not ask if you have ever had any contact that has ever been criminally charged or convicted?
                            Proof of job? Discriminating against those who don't have one? Or is this for having something to sue over?
                            Statements to SAHM? Why?
                            Finances and insurance? Again discriminatory.
                            Fingerprints for what?
                            Child abuse clearance - at last one I can believe in. I didn't see a state psychologist clearance as for the potential for child abuse - was there one? How about child abuse in a person's background such as by a parent or by a friend.
                            Autobiographies written? Seems foolish.
                            Most people have been raised by people who never took a parenting class. I am curious whether parenting classes actually statistically lead to better children? Studies? Otherwise such classes should be recommended but not required.
                            CPR classes are useful for everyone as are first aid classes and use of an AED. Was a working AED usable with a child also required?
                            Would a first time parent actually have a parenting style? Follow every word of Dr. Benjamin Spock? I know my mother had distinct disagreements with some of the things he wrote.
                            No problem with meetings and interviews as long as they are reasonably related to the adoption.
                            Letters of reference about what? Neighbor of perpetrators of tragedies always tell of how they were such good people. Such references often lack impartiality.
                            I'm not sure I see the reason for a birth certificate or a marriage certificate.
                            What is the physical and blood work for? What forms of discrimination result from these tests?
                            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                            ...
                            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                            Comment





                            • best thing is to call agencies and find out the requirements for the adoption programs you are interested in










                              Comment

                              Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                              Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

                              Latest Posts in Our Forums

                              Collapse

                              • Reply to I dont trust Mother

                                Ok so a quick update on my post. My brother has complained to my mother that he feels my sister and I are not contacting him any more. He is complaing...

                                Today, 01:24 AM By secretkeeper
                              • Reply to Wife no longer 'in the mood' - advice please

                                Hi Claret, thanks for your reply
                                Yes, her job is stressful at times and most days she tells me about the 'dramas' that happened at her work.......

                                Yesterday, 05:29 PM By muffin70
                              • Reply to Wife no longer 'in the mood' - advice please

                                Hi Muffin70, just a few words here from a post menopausal woman. Just because she is still having her periods doesn't mean the hormones are all working...

                                Yesterday, 01:49 PM By Claret
                              • Reply to AC7

                                Yeah, I wasn’t aware that minimally processed products made with whole foods (e.g. peanut butter, whole grain pasta) spike blood sugar more than the...

                                Yesterday, 12:58 AM By Stillness
                              • Reply to Understanding a High heel fetish you or husband may have !

                                I have 2 fetishes - 1 my wife knows about and one she doesn't really know about

                                My main fetish is a scarf fetish and it only started a few...

                                05-21-2019, 09:46 PM By muffin70

                              Latest Topics in Our Forums

                              Collapse

                              Working...
                              X