Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

adoption

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • amy40
    started a topic adoption

    adoption

    for those coming to this site hoping for a family,
    please consider adoption

    there are many paths to adoption such as domestic, foster-to-adopt, and international adoption

    hoping that others would consider adoption
    every child deserves a family

  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by jns View Post
    Three days of work was how much of an economic loss?
    he used personal days




    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by amy40 View Post
    don't ask my husband about fingerprinting
    we were fingerprinted 6 times ..... three by FBI and three times by state so that's three days husband took off work

    one needs to not let home study expire, so we paid for two HS updates in addition to initial HS
    so we had three different social workers in our home, also (agency had more than one SW)
    Three days of work was how much of an economic loss? Fingerprints are often taken when crossing international borders. It is done almost instantaneously. Fingerprinting can also be done at almost any participating law enforcement agency for a fee and will have reasonable hours. Multiple times? Fingerprints don't change.

    How often does child rearing really change? Was the initial course incomplete?

    The agencies forced you to jump through hoops just because they could. It's like playing a sick game.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by jns View Post
    Fingerprints for what?
    don't ask my husband about fingerprinting
    we were fingerprinted 6 times ..... three by FBI and three times by state so that's three days husband took off work

    one needs to not let home study expire, so we paid for two HS updates in addition to initial HS
    so we had three different social workers in our home, also (agency had more than one SW)

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied



    best thing is to call agencies and find out the requirements for the adoption programs you are interested in










    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by amy40 View Post
    local fire dept checked our smoke detectors/ fire extinguishers
    social worker looked at every level of house, also
    we were asked if we owned guns
    letter from employer of proof of job/ income
    SAHM needed a statement, also even if no income
    provide assets/liabilities as well as proof of insurances
    FBI fingerprints and state fingerprints
    child abuse clearance from every state lived in
    autobiographies written
    parenting classes as well as required reading
    CPR classes
    meeting with social worker 3 times and asked various questions: why adopting, parenting style, etc
    interviewed by social worker as a couple and Individually
    needed letters of reference
    certified birth certificates and marriage certificate
    medical physical which included blood work
    I find this list to be extreme.
    I grew up in a house without fire detectors and without fire extinguishers. It never caught fire.
    Are social workers certified or have a background in looking at houses such as a contractor or qualified safety expert would have? Is the homeowner indemnified for defects not found?
    What do guns have to do with anything? Why not ask if you have ever had any contact that has ever been criminally charged or convicted?
    Proof of job? Discriminating against those who don't have one? Or is this for having something to sue over?
    Statements to SAHM? Why?
    Finances and insurance? Again discriminatory.
    Fingerprints for what?
    Child abuse clearance - at last one I can believe in. I didn't see a state psychologist clearance as for the potential for child abuse - was there one? How about child abuse in a person's background such as by a parent or by a friend.
    Autobiographies written? Seems foolish.
    Most people have been raised by people who never took a parenting class. I am curious whether parenting classes actually statistically lead to better children? Studies? Otherwise such classes should be recommended but not required.
    CPR classes are useful for everyone as are first aid classes and use of an AED. Was a working AED usable with a child also required?
    Would a first time parent actually have a parenting style? Follow every word of Dr. Benjamin Spock? I know my mother had distinct disagreements with some of the things he wrote.
    No problem with meetings and interviews as long as they are reasonably related to the adoption.
    Letters of reference about what? Neighbor of perpetrators of tragedies always tell of how they were such good people. Such references often lack impartiality.
    I'm not sure I see the reason for a birth certificate or a marriage certificate.
    What is the physical and blood work for? What forms of discrimination result from these tests?

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by jns View Post
    So much inspection, whereas natural birth requires none of that. .
    I would find the physician inspections while pregnant and then delivery much more intrusive than any of the social worker questions we had to answer


    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by jns View Post
    A list of reasons that I find adoption in the USA being discouraged.
    to make the process smoother, my recommendation is to use a local agency, who can help you with everything


    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by amy40 View Post
    every country has it's own rules re adoption
    and in U.S. each state may have differing rules

    our adoption required a home study and this is what I recall:

    local fire dept checked our smoke detectors/ fire extinguishers
    social worker looked at every level of house, also
    we were asked if we owned guns
    letter from employer of proof of job/ income
    SAHM needed a statement, also even if no income
    provide assets/liabilities as well as proof of insurances
    FBI fingerprints and state fingerprints
    child abuse clearance from every state lived in
    autobiographies written
    parenting classes as well as required reading
    CPR classes
    meeting with social worker 3 times and asked various questions: why adopting, parenting style, etc
    interviewed by social worker as a couple and Individually
    needed letters of reference
    certified birth certificates and marriage certificate
    medical physical which included blood work

    So much inspection, whereas natural birth requires none of that. A list of reasons that I find adoption in the USA being discouraged.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    every country has it's own rules re adoption
    and in U.S. each state may have differing rules

    our adoption required a home study and this is what I recall:

    local fire dept checked our smoke detectors/ fire extinguishers
    social worker looked at every level of house, also
    we were asked if we owned guns
    letter from employer of proof of job/ income
    SAHM needed a statement, also even if no income
    provide assets/liabilities as well as proof of insurances
    FBI fingerprints and state fingerprints
    child abuse clearance from every state lived in
    autobiographies written
    parenting classes as well as required reading
    CPR classes
    meeting with social worker 3 times and asked various questions: why adopting, parenting style, etc
    interviewed by social worker as a couple and Individually
    needed letters of reference
    certified birth certificates and marriage certificate
    medical physical which included blood work


    Leave a comment:


  • Popcorn&Candy
    replied
    Adoption can be wonderful: for both the child/young adult and adult. My best friend was a foster child, as her mum had a mental illness. Of course, there can be difficulties but I agree it can be a good thing.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    there are singles who do adopt
    one would need to check with adoption agencies

    Leave a comment:


  • atskitty2
    replied
    Back then, I was maybe 35 and hubs would've been 37 and we were approaching the age limit then, as I believe it was 40...so I haven't even looked into it recently. Being single likely wouldn't help me either.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
    though at my age, it's not likely to happen.
    we know a family who adopted an older child (age7) this past year
    both are over 50

    Leave a comment:


  • atskitty2
    replied
    I wanted to adopt since I was a teenager. Not sure why I never got it done.
    My ex husband and I had decided to adopt, went to the foster care facility in our city and did some checking into options. I should say that I did, in hindsight I can see his lack of interest.

    Obviously for the best that it didn't happen.

    I support adoption 100%, and I'm still open to doing it, though at my age, it's not likely to happen.

    Leave a comment:

Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

Latest Posts in Our Forums

Collapse

Latest Topics in Our Forums

Collapse

Working...
X