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Hate for parents

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  • Hate for parents

    This might upset some, might attract thoughts that someone might need a psychiatrist (starting with the author of this topic, me) or this is a troll in scene buuut... it is not a troll over here, not someone who loves to hate everyone else just because, and... oh well, I will start with the topic:

    So, I never became a mother, I think I will never will and I just realized that I really hate when people get so happy with new baby born things or when they are really so full of chit chats about how their kids are so perfect and awesome. It really annoys me and sometimes when I am not in a good mood I even wish bad things to happen to those people around me just for them to shut the hell about their precious glittering kids.

    Once I've spent a couple of days at a friends house and I was getting so mad and frustrated... seems like the only thing they talked about was how their kid was so awesome, like the world was turning around the kid... and every single chat subject would be the **** kid, showing me pictures and all... I was feeling like really bored and asphyxiating in their drill over the kid.
    Now a colleague had a baby and yeah, I can't hear anything else about that. Like every single detail was unique... for them, yeah! For other people (at least me), I couldn't care less and I don't think each motion of the baby is **** special and means that its becoming a genius or whatever... ****.

    How many times someone had to take a "oh I filmed my kid, wanna see?" and bang, a 5min or more video of a baby doing nothing special... but the parent will say "oh look, he seems so intelligent, did you notice what he did? wow!". Makes me want to say "It is a baby just like other babies, nothing (more) special than others..."

    So... Some people will say "how can you say that, its a baby!!!!" or even "you are sick... not your business, so don't listen to if you don't want to".
    Now, I would like to know if someone else had these kind of hate growing when you have to stand this too. Let me know.

  • Unless it's family, I'm not really into all that either. It can be a little annoying at times, but it's part of their life and a very important part. I can respect that, and I just politely engage myself elsewhere.

    I don't think you're too far off base with any of this, except the part where you indicated that you wished something bad for them. Idk where that bitterness comes from, but that's not healthy. You may want to think about where that's coming from and work on it.

    How old are you?

    Comment


    • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
      I don't think you're too far off base with any of this, except the part where you indicated that you wished something bad for them. Idk where that bitterness comes from, but that's not healthy. You may want to think about where that's coming from and work on it.

      How old are you?
      Well, I think so too that wishing something bad for them to happen its not right! I do! But, sounds like sometimes, mostly and I am not in the mood, having a bad day or anything like that I just feel like I would be feeling better if they were not that happy. The bottom of this, maybe, might be because I wish I had a child of my own or I don't know and, watching them its like having a punch in the face all the time. Maybe!
      I used to babysit and I was happy with it, there were a time that I felt like I reeeeally wanted my own kid but... I think I lost the hope for that. Will not explore these reasons here but, I don't think I'll ever will have it. And, I was so unlucky with a lot of things through my life, battled so hardy for everything I have that sometimes it makes me also ****ed off to see how some spoiled people don't appreciate what they have. Getting a little bit out of topic now.
      Back to topic, their full blowing happiness being expressed all the time makes me go nuts specially when they are bragging about their kids. And of course I don't go nuts on the parent, I don't show how bored I am, they would never guess. I just feel that way and keep it to myself.
      Years ago I was not like this. I am close to my thirties.



      Comment


      • lithium welcome to wh
        curious, were you an only, or one of many kids?

        before I became a parent, the kid talk in our family did seem over the top at times, and when I was waiting to become a parent could barely stand to hear all the gushing as didn't know if we'd ever be parents

        am not on FB or other social media so no one has to worry about over saturation from me ......lol

        Comment


        • Yeah, you're not super atypical. There are lots of people out there who don't want to have children and are rather annoyed by them and all that surrounds having children.

          The thing is, replace the topic of children with something else.........say it's dogs, or fitness, or food, or travel or anything for that matter. Just because YOU don't relate, doesn't mean you can't seek tolerance for others in their own passions. I don't think you need therapy, I just think you're letting yourself be rather self absorbed/selfish (I hope you can appreciate the bluntness with good intention.) People like lots of things I don't like. People around me get super pumped up over things I don't get super pumped over. If I am their friend, I support them regardless of whether I'm into what they're into or not and I expect the same in return.

          I am curious, do you have any younger siblings?
          "Be what you're looking for."

          Comment


          • I have a older brother and in the family there are no babies since our parents were the youngest in the family tree (all cousins are living far away and way older than us).
            But, Beautiful Disaster, I do not dislike kids. I just can't stand the bragging of children all the time like they have to be the first topic on all chats, "oh my son this, oh my daughter that" like they are the role model for every single living being. Every breath the child does its awesome and must be shared - it makes me sick.

            When I babysit-ted I was so in love with the babies (those babies) but wasn't bragging about them. However, I felt so connected it hurt when I stopped babysit them. And, after that experience I wanted my own. But, I guess I never will. And, with time it grew this "hate" of having to stand this situations where parents just don't realize when to stop bragging about the most simple things the kid did or not.

            Comment


            • I wanted to add that, I don't want to feel like this, I really don't but I can't help it and I posted here also as way to seek a bit of everyone's thoughts and let you all know that I want to overcome this kind of feelings/thoughts of mine. It is not good/healthy to feel like this.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Lithium View Post
                And, after that experience I wanted my own. But, I guess I never will.
                is there something else you are dealing with then?
                do you not want to marry and have kids or did you just find out you are unable to?

                Comment


                • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                  is there something else you are dealing with then?
                  do you not want to marry and have kids or did you just find out you are unable to?
                  Yes, can say that I am dealing with a lot of problems that I don't really want to mention here. I have a partner (long and stable relationship) and he doesn't want anything to do with marriage or kids. As someone else said here, its a person choices and nowadays is quite common so I respect it. And this is the mainly reason why I don't think I will ever be having my own.


                  Comment


                  • Welcome to WH, Lithium! Do you also have a similar reaction when people show off other things such as their auto or their house?
                    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                    ...
                    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by jns View Post
                      Welcome to WH, Lithium! Do you also have a similar reaction when people show off other things such as their auto or their house?
                      Not really. Only if its a person really full of itself (and pretty much a show off getting everybody else annoyed around).
                      At the most, I can wish the person to go into the car and crash it in front of my eyes so I can laugh about it but only if it really gets on my nerves.
                      But I am not a jealous person. I mean, if someone gets a prize of a million something I will not get all jealous about it. If someone receives a prize of a new house, it doesn't makes me go nut and I can even be happy for a lot of people being blessed with such prizes! Some people really deserve that and I can even be really happy when I see that a couple fighting years for a child finally got a child. So... I don't think it is a jealousy thing.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Lithium View Post
                        I just can't stand the bragging of children
                        Lithium now that you are hearing from your co-worker....thought of something
                        knew someone that got so much attention when pregnant and once the baby arrived, the baby was the focus
                        she said she missed the attention, so sometimes a parent could be craving that attention, also

                        and ANY attention, even it's about the kids, is gratification for the parent who wants that

                        to get your co-worker off baby topic, ask how SHE's feeling, coping with being a new mom
                        Last edited by amy40; 08-23-2017, 12:15 PM. Reason: new insight

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Lithium View Post
                          . So... I don't think it is a jealousy thing.
                          Could there be some jealousy? You stated, "after that experience I wanted my own."
                          The amount of anger displayed in your first post may not be truly directed at others, but at your own circumstances.

                          Anger we direct at others, is really anger at ourselves. Something about the person is reminding us about what we need to work on.

                          Seeing people with kids or things you may want or not admit to yourself that you want in your life, focuses your anger at them like a laser.
                          Turn that light back on yourself and see what you find. It's worth it to not live with so much anger and depression is often repressed anger. (often, not always)

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by amy40 View Post

                            Could there be some jealousy? You stated, "after that experience I wanted my own."
                            I was a child myself back then. A lot happened until I have reached a point of acceptance maybe, in which it doesn't give me sadness or any feelings of emptiness whatsoever.
                            Back then I would have thought that I was truly jealous and raging against those who had something I didn't. That's the picture everyone gets, including me. I see that clearly.
                            However, I don't think that is the scenario now and that is why I don't think it is related to being jealous at all. And even back then , when I wanted my own, I never felt this "rage" against those who had kids. This is something new.

                            The only thing I guessed was that (maybe?) I get angry at people happiness when I feel miserable.
                            I don't feel miserable, I love my job, my house, my partner BUT, I do feel that I have been miserable in the past and even nowadays that I am happy, I feel like I still have to fight breathless to keep me in this beautiful scenario and I see others in a "easy acquired" happiness.



                            Maybe something like that. I know I repeat a lot of "maybe's" but my words here are as sure as a maybe.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Lithium View Post
                              I see others in a "easy acquired" happiness.[/U]
                              everyone has battles they are fighting; many people do not advertise their troubles and project happiness and kindness to others because they've been through stuff themselves

                              it may seem people have "easily acquired" happiness but when people open up to you, you'll learn differently

                              another child was talking to me recently (our child was not outside)
                              we started talking about grandparents and other things, she said "I've had a lot of loss in my life" this from a child who is always smiling and appears to be happiest kid around

                              Comment

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