Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

frustrated w/ unconditional friendship

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • frustrated w/ unconditional friendship

    Ok i have this friend, "sam". "sam" is always lying to me about thing in her life. for example men is the biggest problem. "sam" was dating some really bad guys that hurt her and she hid this from me cause she knew i would get mad. and when i found out i did get mad and then dissapointed. i am so sick of "sam" letting ppl walk all over her but then on the other hand she treats me like crap. she owes me money from long time ago, and recently. i bought my own christmas gift this year from her she said she would pay me back. "Sam" actually had the money in her hand said out loud that she owes me the money but then put it back in her pocket with out offering it to me. I dont know why but i have a real hard time talking to her about all of this. I dont want to lose her as a friend but she is really getting on my nerves and irritating me about everything. There are days that i just dont want to talk to her and dont want to see her. I even wish she would just go away.
    I am so frustrated with sam right now.
    I cant get her to listen to me even though after this last breakup with her ex "sam" told me how she knew i was right the whole time and that she just didnt want to listen. Now this ex is wanted and threatning her i told her to get a restaining order against him so she could be left alone. she was going to do but now she wont. I get so mad at her being so dumb and clueless

  • Some times you just can't get through to certain people and you never will. It's just the way they are. They don't want to change the way they are.

    In a situation like that, you have two choices.

    1. Stay her friend, but keep it simple. Don't complicate it by lending money or doing any favors that you expect to get some return on. Only do things for her as long as you don't expect to get it back. Don't pressure her about her decisions and relationships or she will just start to resent you. Just offer her a shoulder to cry on and an ear for listening. If she asks for advice, then tell her what you would do if you were her, but don't directly tell her what to do. She clearly doesn't want that from you and probably not from anyone else. She will have to learn on her own, the hard way. If you keep things simple, your friendship will work out better. Some people are just like that. I wouldn't expect any money or anything back from her at this point. Maybe some day in the future when she gets her life together, but who knows?

    2. End the friendship if you cannot do number one and be comfortable with it. She will not change her ways any times soon and if you both continue the way you are, it will just get worse and you will end up hating each other.

    Comment



    • People are so different when it comes to friendship.
      Some jump out at the first wobble, others stay to
      the crash.

      Some are used, used again, reused, used up, and
      stay. Others are like...okay...you paid for lunch
      last time, I pay this time...but you paid more so
      let's have another cup of coffee to be even.


      Comment

      Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

      Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

      Latest Posts in Our Forums

      Collapse

      • Reply to will things ever get back to normal again?

        Still, I have an opinion that it could go either way here. I think sometimes that things will never be the same, then I think that we'll all just go back...

        Today, 05:00 AM By atskitty2
      • Reply to Pressure cooker recipes

        Thanks Still. I'll have to give that a try when the corn is best later this summer.

        Today, 04:30 AM By atskitty2
      • Reply to will things ever get back to normal again?

        When were they ever normal? In my experience, life is a war. The moments when things are going relatively well are just brief breaks in the ongoing stream...

        Today, 01:13 AM By Stillness
      • Reply to Pressure cooker recipes

        Yes. I use an instant pot.

        The last thing I made was corn on the cob.

        Ingredients: Shucked corn

        Directions: Place...

        Today, 12:21 AM By Stillness
      • Reply to Female pubic hair and sexuality

        Personally, I love all the different styles. But having a little hair shows maturity, and I find that sexy. My personal favorite is my wife keeping a...

        05-21-2020, 09:30 AM By Zeus_66

      Latest Topics in Our Forums

      Collapse

      • Treatment for Perimenopause Anxiety?

        Hello guys, What to do about perimenopause symptoms. Several treatments have been studied for managing perimenopausal symptoms. I am confuse, Please help...

        05-13-2020, 08:43 AM By Heyperry
      • isolated as a family

        husband, preteen, and I have been isolated from others for weeks now

        at a loss for how to fill that "peer" need for preteen...

        05-08-2020, 11:20 PM By amy40
      • Lulu.com

        Is an online bookshop, where everyone self publishes their work. If you're interested, then Google it.

        As I always say, this is NOT spam:...

        05-06-2020, 07:03 AM By Popcorn&Candy
      • Dr & what would u do if anything

        husband needed Dr note to continue work at home
        he's at higher risk
        his longtime Dr did not want to get involved & said if he gave note,...

        05-04-2020, 01:35 AM By amy40
      Working...
      X