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my boyfriend won't have sex with me

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  • my boyfriend won't have sex with me

    My boyfriend and I have been together for six years I have got pregnant three times by him all unplanned I had one miscarriage and two abortions, I am on the pill haven't stopped, The start of this year I found out that I was pregnant this was the third time and second abortion I had, now he won't sleep with me because he's scared that i'll get pregnant again, it's been 7 weeks without sex and i'm feeling very low especially when I had the house to myself for two weeks you would think he couldn't wait to be alone with me so can have sex nope we didn't even come close, I feel like I'm embarrassed to show any parts of my body to him and feel it's hard to touch him in private parts, I where my pj's to bed when we stay together because what's the point in dressing up nice as we don't do anything anymore, it just feels like were not acting like a couple we don't really hold hands he never say's any nice things to me we only have a kiss and a huge when we first meet up and leave, I just feel like I'm unattractive. Please help?

  • Maybe it's time to call it quits here. It sounds like there is an extreme emotional disconnect between the two of you due to the number of unplanned pregnancies. This can be extremely hard for a male to deal with, and the fact that it has happened three times is quite substantial. Regardless of the fact that you've been taking the pill, you're still getting pregnant. Based on his response, he is not ready to have a child, and would rather hold out altogether than risk it happening again. Maybe it's also time you tried another form of birth control, maybe an IUD, or perhaps another brand of pill. The IUD can help protect you for 5-10 years based on which one you choose, and can be easier because you don't have to remember a pill each day.

    At the end of the day do you really think that your relationship can bounce back after all of the chaos that has happened due to the unplanned pregnancies? If you think that it can and you're ready to invest large amounts of time and effort into something that can potentially hurt you more in the end, then do so, and stick it out. Obviously intimacy is an extremely important factor to you in a relationship and he is not willing to respond to this desire.

    Only YOU can make this decision, but this is my opinion as an outsider. Good luck to you.


    • I have to disagree with the previous response. It sounds like you guys need to practice safer sex habits! The unplanned pregnancies can be hard on both parties. After reading your post, I think your partner is scared of another pregnancy not scared of you. The relationship needs work, both parties need to put in effort to make it work. If one or both of you don't want to work it out, that is a different story.


      • Hi Gizzy,
        Sorry for what has happened, men often do suffer from distress following a miscarriage etc. Have you tried talking to him?
        The pill is effective however has to be taken as per prescription/guidelines, stomach upsets can hinder the effectiveness of it. Very important to take regularly at the same time, or use another method like condoms lots of options. Please see your practice nurse/GP or a sexual health clinic, tell your partner so maybe you both feel safer then. Please both seek counselling for grief/emotional issues.
        Try some new make-up or clothes if you can so you feel better, your confidence will come back.
        Move on if you feel you don't love each other anymore, see how it goes.
        Take care


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