• If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

harassment

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • harassment

    With all the news in America on sexual harassment by men, I'd be interested to know if you've ever witnessed harassment by women toward men? I certainly have, though I think the men didn't view it negatively.

    Thoughts?

  • #2
    Yes, I think it works both ways. I've seen some of what I would consider harassment in the office and in social situations. Do men view it negatively - yes I think so. Not all men would speak up however.

    Comment


    • #3
      I have met men who would view it negatively. I, as a woman, have experienced sexual harassment from another woman.

      Comment


      • #4
        It does work both ways: a woman can harrass a man and a woman can also sexually harrass another woman. It all goes on. I haven't witnessed harrassment myself, but it would bug me deeply if I did. Obviously, it is not the done thing and I do hope perpetrator get their comeuppance. I would certainly advise anyone it has happened to to report it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Anyone care to share more thoughts on this topic?

          With more information coming out about the habits of Matt Lauer and others, and the acceptance by his/their colleagues, any thoughts?

          I heard one commentator express concern that in this environment, we're at risk for creating a workplace where friendliness or sharing innocent compliments will be taboo. I believe that was a NBC or CBS host.
          I also read an article from Fox news on a roast that was held in which all the sexual escapades of Lauer were made fun in 2008 I think.

          The first sexual harassment case I remember was Anita Hill. As a young woman I watched those hearings, never having had a job anywhere other than a church and restaurant...so I was naive to the atmosphere. Now I have a new perspective.

          Thoughts?
          Are we finally on the cusp of making real strides to end these behaviors? Are we really just deciding it's not that bad after all? Are we accepting that women are just as guilty of the behaviour?

          Comment


          • #6


            I told husband a couple weeks ago to be careful what he says and does at work as woman are probably more sensitive to remarks now (not that he'd do or say anything, but woman may be looking for things now and/or misinterpret)

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
              The first sexual harassment case I remember was Anita Hill. As a young woman I watched those hearings, never having had a job anywhere other than a church and restaurant...so I was naive to the atmosphere. Now I have a new perspective.
              I have trouble believing the "victim" if it seems to be part of a political play. This is especially true if the said harassment was years ago. At the same time I recognize that going after a powerful person is not easy, so many prefer to do it when other complaints have surfaced. That being said, Al Franken is in the wrong and a creep, IMO
              Last edited by jns; 12-06-2017, 08:04 AM.
              I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
              ...
              Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

              From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

              Comment


              • #8
                On my way to the gym this morning, I heard the announcement that Time's Person of the Year is the silence enders...or something to that effect.
                Such an interesting thing to me.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                  I heard the announcement that Time's Person of the Year is the silence enders...or something to that effect.
                  Such an interesting thing to me.
                  just saw that, also and was going to post but u beat me to it
                  yes, interesting

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    When I first started at my current job in 2011, the women there dressed extremely provocatively. I'd never been in an office where people dressed like that. They wore short, tight skirts and a couple of the office staff that I had to deal with wore blouses that were cut to just above their areola. I couldn't believe it. It was like they were in some kind of a competition to shock people. The other men that commented on it seemed to like it. Of course the people like me that did not were probably silent.

                    They're all gone now and it's a much more pleasant and less sexually charged place to be in for me. The women in their positions dress professionally. I don't feel it's a bad place to bring my clients. There's still a prominent agent there that recently shocked me by grabbing me and squeezing me against her big, mostly naked, orange (her tan would put Donald trump to shame) breasts. We have barely said more than 10 words to each other the 6 years I've been there, but she felt the need to hug me. Fortunately my business has nothing to do with her and I don't have to deal with her regularly.
                    "Those sowing seed with tears
                    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Stillness View Post
                      They wore short, tight skirts and a couple of the office staff that I had to deal with wore blouses that were cut to just above their areola. .
                      from the discussions I've heard on TV, it seems most women feel they should be able to dress how they want to without provoking unwanted attention from men

                      however, I do think if one is dressed inappropriately for the place one is at, then the woman is most likely trying to attract attention (but still would not want to be harassed)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        incidentally the hashtag Me Too was started in 2006, 11 years ago
                        it is not something new like I thought it was
                        although it took some recent people coming to light to get more woman to speak up

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                          from the discussions I've heard on TV, it seems most women feel they should be able to dress how they want to without provoking unwanted attention from men
                          Unfortunately it's more culturally accepted for women to expose themselves and to use sex appeal. You can't do anything without consequences, though. If you dress innapropriately, you're going to get bad results. It doesn't matter whether it's too flashy, sexy, casual, formal, or whatever. The results may vary, but they're going to be undesirable eventually.
                          "Those sowing seed with tears
                          Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I do think a woman (or man) should be able to dress as she wants, on her own time. There are defined boundaries in the workplace, usually outlined in a handbook for that company. I do think it matters little how anyone is dressed tho', at work, in regard to whether or not someone will be "harassed". Where there are uniforms required in medical settings, in factories, and the like, it's no less prevalent, maybe even worse. (I know that wasn't what you were pointing out, Still, I'm just elaborating)

                            I'm curious if any of you think that our cultural pendulum is likely going to go swinging to the other extreme in the coming years? Are we going to be so sterile and formal that no words can be spoken at all of a sexual nature, or perceived as a sexual overture even remotely? Can anyone not compliment a nice new hair cut or new shoes, or pants? Even man to man or woman to woman?

                            Or, do you think this all will blow over, and leave us with a "much ado about nothing" attitude? The idea that, we all have thoughts, and urges and sharing it is just part of the social fabric. That if a woman doesn't like a comment, she should speak up in the moment or forget it. Anything short of physical touch or aggression should just be overlooked?

                            I've been the receiver of harassment, and I've been the one to pull aside a colleague and tell him he'd gone too far with other staff. I think in years past, I was possibly even the perpetrator of some form of harassment. What can we reasonably expect of ourselves?

                            Defining these incidences and understanding the mixing of sexes in a social setting vs a professional setting is key, I think.
                            Company's HR offices define harassment, hostility, etc. What is it that we want it to be? I think we've all had to sit through the instructional videos or lectures on what is/isn't considered inappropriate. Do we agree with their definitions?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Stillness View Post

                              Unfortunately it's more culturally accepted for women to expose themselves and to use sex appeal. You can't do anything without consequences, though. If you dress innapropriately, you're going to get bad results. It doesn't matter whether it's too flashy, sexy, casual, formal, or whatever. The results may vary, but they're going to be undesirable eventually.
                              Victim blaming. Why are we talking about what women wear in a discussion thread about harassment? You can talk about appropriate business attire and professionalism. That is a different discussion. But how a woman chooses to dress should not have anything to do with being sexually harassed or attacked. Google "What were you wearing exhibit." It is a display of what women/children were wearing when they were sexually assaulted. The fact that this is brought up repeated every time we talk about sexual harassment and assault is a prime example of victim blaming. When somebody says their house got robbed or the rates of burglaries in the neighbourhood, do you ask what security system they had, if they locked their doors or if they were displaying the valuables they had in their house. No, because you accept them as victim regardless of what they were doing. A woman should be able to walk around naked and not be sexually harassed in the same way a person can walk around wearing expensive jewelry not be robbed.

                              Oh, by the way, dressing in a sexy outfit is not always about men and their attention. Sometimes we women dress sexily because we want to, we like the way we look, we like the way it makes us feel and/or we don't think your standards of revealing aligns with our standards of revealing. I have been told that my dress was too short when all I was doing was wearing a cute dress that was a present from my sister who had bought the dress using her first paycheck. I also have big boobs which makes most dresses that look like church wear for other women make me look like I'm going to a club. Please don't judge how other people dress. You don't know why they dress like that.
                              Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X