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Catching up!

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    Catching up!

    I've not been around much lately, and will continue to just pop in as able...but wanted to say hi to all of you! I trust your week of Thanksgiving was blessed.

    It's been a rough few months for me, and I'm staying afloat. I'll spare the details, but Dad passed away mid-October. Mom is staying with me for at least the winter. Family is a mess right now, though it certainly could have been much worse, at times. Overall I'm optimistic. We're all still talking, which is better than I'd anticipated.

    Last week, my Lab died suddenly.
    I'm still in shock, I think. Denial. The reality of it just hasn't set in for me. There are so many things going on, that I haven't processed it all. With Mom here, it's a constant state of confusion in the house. My little one, (my other dog), is experiencing some depression and I'm concerned for her.

    So, wish I could report that the reason I've been away is due to an extended island vacation...but that's not been the case
    I'll pop in and comment when I can.

    #2
    I am so sorry, atskitty2. You're not alone with your grief: you and your mum are going so through much. There is little I can say, but you've got your friends around you at this difficult time.

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      #3
      Oh my goodness! Your sweet lab. I'm so sorry. They aren't "like family", they ARE family. I totally get it and I'm so sorry.

      "Be what you're looking for."

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        #4
        As they saying goes, it never rains but it pours. Take your time, we understand that life sometimes gets in the way. Talk to you later, take care.

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          #5
          I'm sorry to hear that your Lab died. Grieving will probably take place when the pace slows a bit. Best wishes and my condolences.

          I was out of town for most of last week but am back now to give Claret some relief here at WH (thanks, Claret).
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          ...
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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            #6
            Thanks all.

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              #7
              Sorry about your dad and your pet. Good to hear your family is sticking together and you’re positive, though. Good signs.

              Two of the smartest things I ever heard my own father say were dealing with death: “One of the best indicators of a good life is how well a person deals with death.” & “Life is for the living.” I think about those principles a lot.
              "Those sowing seed with tears
              Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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                #8
                I agree with both mottos, Stillness.

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                  #9
                  Still, in all those hours bedside with Dad, we never spoke of it. I'm pretty certain he knew he had little time left, but we never discussed it. I wonder now, if I should have brought it up, and comforted him, or let him know that it was ok to be fearful or, whatever he may have been feeling. It didn't show, he never asked, so I didn't go there. Maybe one of my siblings did, but I doubt it.

                  The last day he was conscious, there was a change. I think he knew the time was short. I told him we were taking him home in a day and he just nodded, indifferent, and asked where we were taking him. I told him and he made a jokingly sad face. I know he understood that we all know that he doesn't want to die in a hospital bed. I just held his hand and told him we would get him to his favorite spots asap. I think I should have said more, rather than avoid it. I hadn't given up hope, tho I knew it was days to weeks.

                  Anyway, with Dad's dementia and adding the cognitive decline associated with heart disease, I'm glad I had a few lucid discussions with him over those 5 wks. He had "sundowner's" so those crazy, sleepless nights would be intermingled with an occasional normal conversation, and one where he was his old brilliance. Aging and dying are fascinating really. Dad was always so sharp, so energetic. The past few years, his decline was fast.
                  Nearly all the good in me came from him. I'm blessed to have had this caliber of man as my Dad. I don't think I fully realized that, until the end of his life. And it took a few stranger's stories to open my eyes to it.

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                    #10
                    It's good that you had a few times where the fog of dementia lifted and you could converse like the old times. Dementia is a strange beast. My father had it at the end.
                    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                    ...
                    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                      I wonder now, if I should have brought it up, and comforted him, or let him know that it was ok to be fearful or, whatever he may have been feeling. It didn't show, he never asked, so I didn't go there.
                      It sounds like you were there for him at the end and well before. I call that good all day long.

                      Pretty cool that you see the good in him that passed to you. That's a nice feeling.
                      "Those sowing seed with tears
                      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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                        #12
                        It is Still
                        I've been shocked, and touched by people telling me things about Dad. People are still finding me, and reaching out to tell me some amazing things...things I didn't know he did. And this from strangers...and I don't know how they know I'm his daughter, or why they feel the need to share...but they do. I guess the universe knew I needed that.

                        I always knew he was different, and special, but we all think that of our family, so, I just knew I loved him. Dad wore many hats, and wore them all exceptionally well. I'm disappointed in myself for not recognizing that sooner, but I'm more inspired by his life now, than I ever was.
                        I'm not peaceful with losing him yet, but the gratefulness has washed over me and humbled me.

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                          #13
                          Nostalgia is wonderful yet bittersweet. Of course you loved your father dearly: and always will. I know I love mine. You're not alone in your grief, though: just reach out an asking hand. No one can give back your father, but you have all your friends and family around you.

                          You're right to treasure what he was: and will always be in your heart.

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