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Visiting my cousins in Japan

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  • Visiting my cousins in Japan

    I haven't been on WH for a long time, even the old timers probable don't remember me. Just as well, my past was no picnic. I'll try to drop by more often, not just when I'm having problems. No problem this visit, just happy news for me.

    I felt I needed to get away and I think my family wanted to out of their hair. I flew to Tokyo January 3 and have been visiting with long lost family. My grandparents on both sides were born in Japan. Been staying with Taruo, my second cousin, for over a week. We met at a birthday party for my elderly great aunt and it was love at first sight for me. I moved to his house the next day and we been sleeping together every since. He lives in a beautiful little house in Mito Japan. I wish I could stay here forever, What makes us great together is he don't speak any English and my Japanese is limited. Just communicating is a laugh a minute.

    I'll be returning to Hawaii on February 5, I miss my daughter a lot, the rest of my family not so much. Taruo has promised to come to Hawaii for a visit in April, if my divorce was final we will be getting married. I know marrying a second cousin is taboo in some circles but I'm incapable of having children so that will not be a problem.



    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
    ― Bodhidharma

  • That's wonderful, chaya. Falling in love is very special. I wish you every happiness. I am also glad Tokyo in general has given you a new lease of life: travelling often does. It is so easy to be trapped and branching out opens doors.

    I am happy for you both!

    Comment


    • Chaya, glad to read of your new life. You seem so very upbeat and positive. When you get married where will you live and will you take your daughter with you if it's a move to Japan?
      That which we forget may as well never really happened.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Claret View Post
        Chaya, glad to read of your new life. You seem so very upbeat and positive. When you get married where will you live and will you take your daughter with you if it's a move to Japan?
        I had assumed that we would live in Hawaii and hadn't given it much thought. It will be a problem, he don't want to leave Japan. I'm having mixed feelings, it is nice here but not sure if I would be happy living here permanently.

        [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
        Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
        ― Bodhidharma

        Comment


        • I hope you reach a compromise, chaya. Because if Japan is not a place you want to live permanently, then you must tell your partner this. He may be open to living in Hawaii. Maybe you could spend part of a year in one country and the other part of the year in Japan. I do also think you'll be fluent in Japanese in no time. But if you are truly unhappy with the thought of living permanently in Japan, you mustn't put yourself through it. However, I know you love your partner, so it'll be a difficult decision. Do listen to what your heart is telling you and stay true to yourself.

          Comment


          • Living in another country has it's challenges and also has its benefits.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment


            • jns is right: every place as its challenges and its benefits. Because you could end up loving Japan and love treating it as a home. Plus, you're exposed to the language much more often. However, your partner has a say, too. Whatever you decide, I am sure you'll decide together. But there are positives and negatives to every place. Where do you compromise? Your partner and yourself must be similar, so perhaps you'll end up of the same mind.

              Comment


              • It looks like we will not be able to compromise. He is right that he might not be able to find work outside of Japan. My medical needs would be a problem for me living in Japan, I am a type 1 diabetic. Also I miss so many things that are either hard to get here or are so expensive I couldn't afford them. Then there is my daughter, I want her to stay in school in Hawaii and someday go to college in the US. I was fooling myself to think this would ever work out, blinded by infatuation. On top of all the other reasons why it won't work, there is the fact that I am bisexual and might need to satisfy my lesbian side. I've not told him about this, not sure how he would take it. I have extended by stay here but will have to leave by the 15th.
                [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
                Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
                ― Bodhidharma

                Comment


                • I am sad for you, chaya. But maybe moving apart is best in the long run. I know it isn't an easy decision. You should never live somewhere you're unhappy about. There is no point living in misery: no matter how much you love your partner. Geographical boundaries do often dictate where relationships go. Of course, there are many exceptions where couples do survive them and end up living together after years of living apart.

                  I know you're sad, but you will meet someone new. Your daughter [of course] if number one priority. Obviously, being her mum you know best for her. I do wish you all the best and I know it's heartbreaking but you'll move on from this.

                  Comment


                  • I'm home, was hard to leave but it's for the best. Taruo promised to visit in the spring, not so sure that's a good idea. A clean break might be best. I love Hawaii, the beaches, the people, the climate and just about everything. Japan is a nice place to visit but my home will always be Hawaii.

                    My father is retiring and leaving his practice to a younger doctor. He had hoped to keep working until my sister finished medical school but his health is getting worse. He had a nurse that worked in his office for 20 years, she decided to retire when he did. I am going to work for the new doctor as a nurse. I'm looking forward to it so much, I been going to the office every day to learn the ropes.

                    I've dated a man I've known since we were children, he is divorced and lives only a block away. It's nothing serious, I haven't got over Taruo yet but we are enjoying some casual fun.
                    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
                    Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
                    ― Bodhidharma

                    Comment


                    • That's wonderful, Chaya. You're right to follow your heart: Hawaii is your home and you're right to stay where you are happy. Your happiness and your daughter's happiness is always top priority.

                      Comment

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