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Generally feeling low

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  • Generally feeling low

    Tired all the time, no motivation for work, less and less motivation for the things that used to make me happy, and a large wish to hide away and be by myself until I feel better.

    I've always swung between ridiculously happy and hyper-energy, to low and not wanting to leave my flat, and have spoken to my GP in the past about medication but she's wary on using it with me as apparently my case of depression isn't strong enough. (This was worked out by a simple questionnaire though, and while under the question "do you want to harm yourself or end your life" I could say definately not, there was no option for 'I want to run away from life and hide'.)

    I've now not done any major work on my degree for about 5 months, and I realise it will be a huge uphill struggle to get back on track, but I'm not sure that's what I want, or whether its the 'run and hide' me that is saying that. I've never let anything defeat me before, including a former manager who bullied me, so it makes me feel even worse that I may have found my limit. I'm not sure I have the energy to climb up the hill anymore.

    My boyf doesn't really understand, when we last talked about how I was feeling he does the very male thing of talking of a time when he felt low, or how it was tough doing his degree too. But it's so not the same. Our degrees are totally different (in subject and in level, his was undergrad mine is a phd) so he can't possibly know the risk I'm taking with this course. Or am I being too harsh on him?

    Do you guys think that I should return to the doctor, or the councillor I was seeing (wasn't overly useful last time), pay for a therapist (done in the past and incredibly useful) or do you have any advice for pulling myself out of this by myself?

    Thank you

  • Ugh! You just described me to a tee. If therapy worked in the past then you should give it another shot for sure. I can understand your dr not wanting you to take meds because that's pretty drastic.

    Do you exercise? Get massages? Get enough sunshine? What makes you happy?


    • Well I moved to Scotland a few months ago and the doc does wonder if the sun levels have anything to do with it. I contemplated one of those sun-lamps but there's no evidence that spending that amount of money is worth it!

      Music makes me happy. If I need to calm down before a deadline at uni I listen/sing to music and it works every time. But no, I don't get enough exercise and I know I should, but some days I just can't get the energy to go out.


      • What about popping on your headphones and going for a walk to relax? That way you'd get music, activity and hopefully a bit of sunlight.

        I'd heard that tanning beds help for that. And I don't know about where you live, but here, at our community clinic you can go stare into the light box for free once a week. (we have really long dreary winters as well)

        Have you considered a vitamin D supplement?


        • I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 13 (some have said that it wasn't possible, considering the circumstances, though, I myself would say severe depression - including wanting to take my life). I have lived with that depression and it got worse and then better and then worse again. As I grew older, I started seeing patterns in my depression. I would start to recognise the highs and lows and then I started to anticipate it. I realised that after a high, there's a low. I couldn't identify any triggers, but a lot of the times there are triggers that could start a low. Mine used to be in time frames of about 3 weeks. Once I learned to recognise and anticipate the highs and lows, I could start dealing with them. When I knew I was going to hit a low, I prepared myself for it and when it came, I dealt with it - mentally, not emotionally. Today, I am completely depression free, not withstanding the fact that my life has not gotten better. Your mind is a very very powerful thing. There is a lot of truth in the power of positive thinking. And you don't need to change a lot of things at once. Start with something small. A vitamin supplement - Vitamin D as Sourpuss suggested, iron deficiency can also play a huge roll, and calcium. Routine in sleeping. And whenever that depression feeling kicks in, get up and do something. Anything, wash the dishes, weed the garden, hit a ball, just don't sit down - that's when the ugly claws grab hold, and you don't want to get up again.


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