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Bad thoughts

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  • Bad thoughts

    Nearly every day now, I wonder to myself what is the easiest way to commit suicide, I have no friends anymore and have nothing worth living for.

  • Hi Neemo, welcome to the Forum...

    Take yourself back, when you did have friends, remember? Take yourself back when you smiled at something, remember?

    Perhaps it's a new journey in life that is now awaiting you, a happier one, a transition...

    If you had a dream what would it be?

    People come and go in our lives and stress and things that make us un-happy can bring us down, but remember, there is always something to live for, would you tell us more about yourself...



    • I'm 22 tomarrow, I suffer from depression since I was 14-15, my teenage years, I can't really remember them because I was drinking alot and went through some tough times.
      Over the past 2 years I drifted away from my friends and stopped wanting to go out and I don't really leave my house, unless I need to.
      I have no interest in anything anymore, I always feel down and sad and then that will turn to anger. I hate my life and I hate feeling this way.


      • Birthdays will bring out depression even more...

        It sounds to me like you've stopped drinking?

        You know once you get yourself into a rut it's hard to get out off, but you CAN get out of it...

        Was there one friend that you were close to, could confide with, that you could try to get back in touch with and ask them to help you get motivated, out of the house, and start living again?


        • I still drink the odd time now, but only when I'm feeling really bad, but I know myself it never helps. All my friends have moved on and we've all split and they are in college the other side of the country. They all seem busy with their lives and doing so well, sometimes I ask myself, where did I go wrong? When did I loose my grip on things, but I can't ever really remember things being "good". I'm living lifeless days everyday, and I'm getting tired of it. I tell myself some days, I'l give it a go for another day, but nothing ever changes or how I fell never changes.


          • Do you think that may be because, that next day, is the same as yesterday?

            Why not start with getting out the house, going for a walk, getting back in touch with what's out there.

            Do you have brothers and sisters? What do your family do to help you ? Have you ever had counselling?


            • Welcome!!! For starters, I have a challenge for you. You came here for a reason, so take this seriously, take it to heart, and please give me your best effort. Here is your challenge:

              List 5 GOOD things about YOU.

              Ready, set, go.
              "Be what you're looking for."


              • I am so sorry you feel this way. mental health is a hard one I am 25 and for 3 years let myself stay in a rut not leaving the house or even getting out of bed. I would say the same things to my self "how can i do this any more?" but i started by reading some self help books i know it might sound silly but it helped me see how i can have the power to help my situation no matter how bad it got! This was at a time when i was put on zoloft and i made sure i needed to find myself. Your twenties are the time when we try to find and define our selves and that alone is a very hard thing todo. Then i started to see a therapist phd md. It gave me more hope hope that even though my body was fighting me i could do what i could to think more possative!!!!
                BE POSSATIVE AND GROW!!!


                • I do have brothers but they all live their own lives, we see eachother a few days per week but we don't really speak or make conversation. My dad is always away with his friends and doing his own thing and my mum spends most of her time with her sisters. Every one has their own life and does their own thing, we aren't close as a family.
                  I find it easier to name 5 bad things about me rather than 5 good things.
                  I hate feeling this way, yet I fell I'd be happier just staying at home and not associating with anyone. I've convinced myself that I'm just a lost soul, I have no friends, no hobbies, no interests, I think to myself that id I don't give up on life, it will be like this for the next 50 years.
                  I have went to councillors when I was younger. I had a miscarraige when I was 16, and I blocked it out and got on with my life. Thought to myself that there is no point crying over spilt milk. I thought it happened for the right reasons and that helped me forget about it.


                  • I find it easier to name 5 bad things about me rather than 5 good things.
                    I didn't say it would be easy. But if what you truly want is to feel better....you have to be willing. So get at it........5 good things about yourself.
                    "Be what you're looking for."


                    • Neemo I suffered a debilitating depression for a few years myself, not leaving the house... no contact with friends and the problem is the more you isolate yourself, the harder it is for people to connect with you so that is the first thing you need to stop doing.

                      Do you sleep during the day and stay awake late at night? If so, stop with that... that is a recipe for not only depression, but isolation.

                      1. REACH OUT. Reach out to the people that love you, even if they aren't nearby, call, make connections and do something that you probably don't want to do: admit that you are feeling lonely and sad. Most people have no idea a loved one is depressed, and they go on about their business. Let them KNOW how you are feeling. A. It will shine some light into your own feelings by speaking them and B. It will help develop a support system which you are greatly in need of.

                      2. This may sound silly, but get OUTSIDE during the day and get some sunshine, sunlight is a natural mood enhancer, thats why you will find people that are depressed tend to keep their blinds closed, thrive in the dark ... get sunlight..open those shades, sit outside on the porch or in the yard as much as possible.

                      3. Get some exercise, even going for a brisk walk will get oxygon to your muscles and tissues and give you energy you didn't know you had, exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good, be sure you are being active.

                      4. EAT HEALTHY. Eating junk can make you feel like junk, make sure you are giving your body nutrients it needs for a healthy mind AND body. Deffeciancy's in vitamins and minerals can also ill effect your mood.

                      5. Get off the computer, get out into the world. Being at home alone online is no substitute for human interaction. Take a class, go to a dog park, join a gym, go to a fair, go to the grocery store! Just get out out out there interacting. Do not reject invitations to hang out, even if you are not in the mood, the more you go the more you will enjoy going so force yourself to accept an invite to a bbq or something else you would normally groan about and eventually you wont have to force yourself, you will actually want to go!

                      6. Consider getting a pet, something to love and take care of that will do the same for you, sometimes when you are alone having something cute and fuzzy that gives such pure adoration can warm your soul in ways you never imagined.

                      7. See a doctor, talk to them about exactly what you are feeling. I am not advocating using depression meds but , there are some people that truly need them and some that get the most amazing results from them. Talk to your doctor, explain your stymptoms to see if you could benefit from counseling or medication etc.. you don't have to fight the good fight all by yourself, there are people there to help.
                      Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.


                      • One of my friends use to praise me for being so optimistic, and said she wishes she could be like that, thinking back now, at one stage I was the one that was always up for a laugh and a good time, and had the random ideas. There was never any "what if's" I just went for it.. So I was optimistic at one stage.
                        I use to have my hair looking well and make-up on every day, but I don't bother with that now. I'd dress well too but now I stay about the house in tracksuits.
                        I had confidence back then.
                        I think what I miss the most, is the way things use to be.
                        Tomarrow, I'm thinking about taking my dog for a walk, even though I don't want to. But I'm going to fix up my hair and put on some make-up, these were things that made me feel good. So I'm willing to try it and get out of the house atleast for half an hour, it's been about over 2 weeks since I last left the house.


                        • Good for you Neemo...

                          Keep looking back, when you look in that mirror, remember the girl you were then..

                          She's inside you, she's there, the fact your here means you want to see her again....

                          Your doing great, to make that decision feel proud....

                          What are you going to the next day?

                          HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET...

                          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


                          • I so badly want to be that person again, and to have that confidence and happiness.

                            I'm going to take it one day at a time, because I can easily get knocked back.
                            The thought of being that girl again, had made me smile, and it's the first real smile in a long long time.
                            Thank you, for the Birthday wish CW.


                            • Hey Neemo, that's the only way to go, one day at a time

                              Glad you smiled

                              So, here's the thing, this is your thread, and we are your new friends, so we want a daily account, of something that you did that day, outside the house, different, or put makeup on, or telephoned a friend, anything...

                              See you back here tomorrow

                              You know you can do it..
                              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


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