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depression---will it get better??

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  • depression---will it get better??


    i have been recently diagnosed with depression which a result of something happening in my personal life has caused everything else in my life to come to a head.

    all of a sudden and what seems like almost overnight, it just hit me and I wasnt the same person anymore.

    i am now nervous all the time, cry, can't eat, can hardly get out of bed, can't control my feelings, have frequent anxiety attacks where i can hardly breathe. this is by far the worst and most horrific feeling in the world and i feel like i am in a waking nightmare.

    nothing in my life makes me happy anymore, and everything looks and feels bleak. i feel like i have nothing to look forward to although i have a wonderful husband, great friends, family a good job etc...and i feel so ashamed to feel this way.

    i went to my doctor last week who prescribed Cipralex and I have been on it for about 1 week now and she advised me to take 1 xanax at night before going to bed which i have been doing as well.

    Can someone please help me and reassure me that this will get better?? i feel like i am at the end of my rope and losing my mind and control of my life.

    i am trying to fight it by calming myself when i panic and talking to my family (specifically my mother who has also suffered from depression) as well as pushing negative and painful thoughts from my mind and trying to stay positive.

    can anyone let me know if you are on any of these medications and how you are feeling on them or just give me general advice based on your own experiences with depression?

    many thanks.

  • Hello,

    I have battled anxiety and depression most of my life and have talked openly about it in this forum. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain that can lay dormant for years and suddenly be triggered by the smallest of events in our lives. Anxiety is a little harder to figure out. My anxiety has been all but gone for quite a while now, though I still battle with depression on a daily basis.

    Prescription meds. for depression work to balance the chemical imbalance in your brain that helps you regain your pre-depression happiness levels. They ARE NOT miracle cures and you still have to do some of the "work" to regain your happiness. Antidepressants are "bridges" that help us get over "bumps" in our road back to happiness, but you still have to take the "steps" or "drive the car" over those bumps. The medication is only the bridge and no bridge is any good that is not used.

    Xanax is a fast acting prescription med. that relieves the symptoms of anxiety in 30 to 60 minutes from the time you consume it (for most people). Taking it at night is ideal, as it also helps some sleep easier and better while not having to deal with any possible side effects. There is a risk of it becoming habit forming and it is also widely abused. So take it EXACTLY as prescribed and ONLY as prescribed.

    It is not my intention to scare you or make you upset but rather give you the information in order to help you as best as I am able.

    I have ZERO medical training of any kind. I'm just a regular guy who has battled with these issues all of my life....and for the record...I am winning!

    Only YOU can make yourself feel better by taking the meds as prescribed when prescribed and doing the things necessary, in addition to taking your meds., that will enable you to re-gain your happiness.

    Eat right, exercise...even if you haven't exercised in the past, start today! Exercise releases the "happy chemical" in our brains (it is believed by medical experts), so put the remote control down, grab your husband and walk around your neighborhood for a half an hour each night. Fresh air, exercise and time spent with the man you love...see, it's getting better already! . Get a good night's sleep.

    Hint: An easy way for ANYBODY to boost your happiness levels is to go outside in the bright sunshine for at least 20 minutes. The brighter the better. NOTE: DO NOT stare up at the sun, merely be out in the brightness. This serves two important and HEALTHY purposes:

    1) Direct exposure to the sun's rays for 15 - 20 minutes causes our bodies to manufacture Vitamin D which most of us need, and

    2) There is a direct association with bright light from the sun, the kind that makes you squint and reach for the sunglasses, and human happiness. This is caused by bright light reaching the optic nerve in the back of your eye that is "wired" directly to your brain and the signal sent by the bright light to your brain is to be "happy". I'm sure there is a more scientific definition/explanantion but you get the idea.

    So leave the sunglasses off for the first 15 - 20 minutes you are out in the bright sunlight....your mood will thank you!

    I wish you well in your battle and hope that the info. above was of some help.


    • I don't advocate drug therapy for depression, but in most cases, people want it, doctors prescribe it and think it will help. Chemical imbalance in the brain could be addressed with anti-depression meds but also with natural means, depending on the severity and the person's willingness to do something with it and not just rely on the prescription. I say, try what Seeker has already told you to do. Combine taking meds with some more "work" on your part. Try to get out of your shell and do some volunteer work, get more sun. Try joining a tai chi class or yoga to help you with relaxation. It works for me.


      • thanks to both of you for your very helpful responses.

        i feel like i am hopefully starting to take the right steps by at least admitting that i have depression and seeking help and you are absolutely right, i need to be proactive in taking the initiative to be happy.

        luckily i do workout on a regular basis to get some of my positive energy flowing and to let go of some pent up anxiety, in fact my husband and i are going on a power walk after work today so seeker you were spot on by your suggestion

        i know it won't be an easy battle and i will have good days and bad days, but i am hoping that the medication combined with the willingness on my part will eventually get me out of this darkness.

        again, thank you both, it gives me comfort knowing i am not alone in what i am going through.


        • A couple more thoughts...

          I saw my need for meds as a "band-aid" of sorts in that they were there for me when I was trying to work through the toughest times with my depression and anxiety.

          I have been free of Xanax for about 18 months and free from my anti-D meds for about 5 months.

          One way to get immediate results.... Instead of thinking you have or will have bad days, think ONLY that you have "bad parts" to your day(s). It can make a big difference.

          To date, there has yet to be a study published that supports the theory that depression can be cured through diet, exercise and other "good" habits alone. Clearly, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain and the only way to rebalance the chemical that is missing is with molecules/meds that are designed to do just that. Diet, exercise, healthy lifestyle and making yourself do the things that "happy people" do will be a tremendous help in your efforts.

          Enjoy your power walk with your wonderful husband !!


          • thank you so much Seeker for your encouraging words!! i will try to take each day as it comes and as you advised not look at the overall day as bad but as having its good parts and bad parts.

            warmest regards!


            • Sweetheart, shock....Shock of something that happens in your life that is so hard to comprehend sends you into well, shock.

              How you handle that is different for all people.

              It is okay to feel uterly guttered, depressed and it's okay to go on medication but you know what? It is as Seeker stated the positives that you can see in other aspects of your life and in you as a person that will, will, break this...

              You just stay positive young lady...It was an obsticle....a huge one but never the less, it was one....don't let it beat the other side of you.....keep looking at every positive.

              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


              • Thank you CW, your words mean so much to me.

                I have in the past few weeks (due to counseling) realized that the depression came about due to unresolved issues and unfulfilled aspects of my marriage, and while I mentioned in my original letter that my husband is wonderful, caring etc...the truth of the matter is that we have lost our intimacy (for 2 years now) and as a result have a very close and caring friendship at this point.

                This has been the scariest thing to face and although I knew it, the waiting and not doing anything about it has finally manifested itself into a complete breakdown for me. I love my husband but without that "spark" for each other, I am not sure I can survive the rest of my life with this person (we have only been married 7 years).

                Part of me feels that yes the passion eventually subsides in a marriage, but without some initial spark there, you cannot sustain a healthy marriage and it ends up being a friendship, a friendship that I dont need to be married to someone to have.

                We have started couple's counseling together but I am just feeling so hopeless at this point and deep down I am so scared....scared to lose him, lose my security, the habit of being married, our lifestyle, and I guess the scariest thing of all is that I will never be happy again.


                • I had a question here as well. I am also been prescribed new medicine for my depression and anxiety that has plagued me for all my life. Within starting my new medicine added on to my old one. I experienced some bad side effects. I went and had my dose of my first pill lowered. I seem to be doing a little better. Now I am wondering to deal with my stress I should seek professional help as in a therapist or physiatrist? Due to my depressed mental state I think i might want to try a physiatrist. However now that i am feeling better and my depression is treated i wonder maybe i should just see a therapist? What does everyone think?
                  Life's a dance you learn as you go


                  • I should seek professional help as in a therapist or physiatrist? Due to my depressed mental state I think i might want to try a physiatrist. However now that i am feeling better and my depression is treated i wonder maybe i should just see a therapist? What does everyone think?
                    Depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for someone to just vent to then a therapist/psychologist. They do nothing but talk therapy and can refer you to a psychiatrist if need be. If you are looking for a medication approach to manage your symptoms then you see a psychiatrist, they are medical doctors so they are able to prescribe medications. Psychologists and other therapists are not medical doctors so they cannot prescribe anything.
                    There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.


                    • Depression meds.... Or anxiety, insomnia, bi-polar, all of those meds... Are evil!!! Lol, but no, really. I don't remember a good 2-3 years of my life... And to level with ya, they made me SO much worse. Plus, my problems seemed so much harder to cope with when I stopped taking the pills.... Any true mental disease, is exactly that. A DISEASE. It probably won't ever go away entirely, but it doesn't take long for it to disappear either. I can't even remember when, why, or how I stopped being depressed and just, well, insane. Haha. It was just gone one day, just like how it just started one day... I'd like to think of it, kind of like the flu. Well, no, that's a bad example... Ok, Chicken Pox! It shows up, it sucks, it goes away, but it never completely leaves! (pox stays in your system forever, which causes shingles later ) Just do your best to get through it, find things to do to keep your mind off it, and one day you'll look back and be like, whoa. Where did it go?? Later, you'll have your days, sometimes I just break down entirely for no real reason... But compared to feeling that way everyday, I can't say I really mind this. For me, it took about 3 years, maybe a little longer, to realize that I wasn't depressed... So it probably lasted REALLY badly, for about 2 years? Then again, teenage hormones and depression, are a really bad mixture XD Medicine for everyone is different, so I won't tell you those pills won't work, but Xanax, I can almost guarantee you, is going to make you forget alot of your current days when you're off it and if they start making you MORE depressed, ask about being on something like Adderall. That's what REALLY helped me, still does really. But then again, I'm A.D.D. & A.D.H.D. off the freggin walls. Keep a positive mind, and good luck to ya


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