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Am at a loss how to help ????

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  • Am at a loss how to help ????

    I am very concerned about a good friend of mine. She found ou a few months ago that her husband was cheating. He neither confirmed nor denied it and this is tormenting her. Fast forward and she has lost so much weight, is not eating and can go for days without doing so. When she does, she feels nauseous and is sick sometimes. She has a history of depression, has attempted suicide in the past and point blank refuses to seek counselling of any sort. I am deeply concerned because the relationship seems dysfunctional; she is highly suspicious, constantly clock watches when he leaves the house and says she doesn't trust him. He has told her on various occasions that he is no longer attracted to her, doesn't seem concerned about her weight loss, his words to me were 'what can I do about it'. There is much more to this story but I guess my main concern is her mental health and her diminished appetite. She is obviously hurt and recognises that this relationship is not working yet refuses to make any changes. She is obsessed with him, checks his texts messages and I can see that this will not end well. I just don't know what else to do??? We have all tried speaking to her and offered our support in various ways. Her self esteem is nil......and I cant see what else I can do.......

  • Oh man. It's hard to make ANYONE listen to advice they don't want to hear, but this situation is 10 times worse.

    Sometimes if a person is clinically depressed or suffers some related mental illness, there's not much of anything friends or family can do. The only answer very well may be professional help. If she refuses to seek it herself, there may come a day when something extreme happens and IT gains grounds to seek HER.

    If she can't bring herself to do anything, why doesn't the husband be the one to break it off, to leave and get a divorce? I see two very unhappy people here, and neither is leaving...


    • Honey even if she caught him it would be worse..

      Can you speak to her family? If she keeps down this track eventually she will be so far gone ....They have to stand by her and get her help...

      She is so down on herself she is wanting this person who doesn't care about her, maybe that's how she has felt within her entire life, somehow people need to show her love and support not just you.



      • There's really nothing you can do, I've been through the same thing with guys before, and refuse to do the smart thing for myself every time... The best thing you can do it let it run it's course, and try to keep an eye on her, and be available and supportive. Eventually she will catch him, he'll leave her, or she'll leave him... It's only a matter of time before things completely crash, and when they do, make sure you're there... Just be a good caring friend. There's not a whole lot more you CAN do. :/


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