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So i have cancer...

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  • So i have cancer...

    What's next?
    How do you deal with it?
    How are my children supposed to deal with it?
    And my husband?
    My parents?

    It's the last word a person wants to hear. How am i supposed to tell them?

    Any tips?

  • #2
    Oh Milla,
    I only know a few people personally and am not saying it's easy. But one thing i saw in them was their strength which isnt easy to understand either. Depending on the type which you didnt mention, i suppose you try to read some on the matter too as there are alternatives! CAM they call it, right-- complementary and alternative methods? My best friend was far away when i learned she had it and already had treatments and recovering when she really told about it. I can only say talk w/ the survivors and learn as a support group. There are many natural means, dont be too dependent on chemo right away, altho i respect what your doctor would be saying. Its just that many others recover often from a diet change... more. Hope to get back , ok.
    PS. i understand others more easily recover thru help from naturally green stuff like wheat or barley grass juices, among other stuff-- it's just there to look for!


    • #3
      Well, I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. When did you find out? Are you through staging, and what is your prognosis? Your age? Will you maintain employment during this time? (Are you able/Do you have to keep your job throughout treatment?) If you care to share...

      What's next? That's up to you! As sam says, there are treatment options. Discuss them with your oncologist, or whomever is heading your medical team. Do your research apart from them as well, and don't be afraid to seek other medical advice, inside & outside of the mainstream. There are so many options now, consider them all. Stay positive & realize, that a cancer diagnosis isn't an eminent death sentence necessarily. I don't know your situation, but many treatments keep cancer in remission for years and patients live full, active lives during that time.

      Dealing with it? That seems to be different for everyone, and that sort of leads into my answers to your other questions about family. Those I've known who have been most healthy (mentally & emotionally) throughout the cancer treatment process, are those with the best, strongest family unity & support. This is a time to lean on them, even if it isn't your natural inclination to do so. Is your marriage strong & healthy? How old are your children? Your parents are healthy & supportive in general?

      Immerse yourself in the things you love. Whatever that is, do it daily, or as often as possible. This is healthy because you need to keep your mind occupied, but the positive hormones released when you're involved in that will be good for your body as well.
      If you're a Spiritual person, speak to your religious leaders, or study your text for strength.

      Find the support groups in your area. They are a wealth of experience, knowledge & ideas, guidance, comfort, encouragement & you just need to know, you're not alone, and you need to see, first hand, survivors & know that you can & will come through the struggles. I think it's important to be realistic & recognize there will be struggles. Even cancer caught early, brings challenges. It isn't a walk in the park. So, bracing for that, with good support & healthy, positive mind sets are a strong force for the battle ahead.

      Please revisit us with updates, and best of luck & health to you.


      • #4
        I can give you the perspective from a child who lost a parent to cancer. I was only 11 years old. Nobody told me what was going on. I kept thinking that my mom was going to get better and come home. I once heard a visiting neighbour mention cancer but I refused to believe it since nobody told me directly. I was not prepared to lose her. When I went to visit her 2 days before she died, it was apparently supposed to be to say goodbye. Nobody told me that. If I had known, I would have liked to spend more time with my mother.

        I don't know how old your kids are but you need to be upfront with them. They need to know what is going on it your life and prepare them for whatever it is: the pain of chemo, unsure diagnosis, emotional distress, etc. Don't try to shelter them from it. They don't need to know every gory detail, but don't lie or hide it. You need the support they can provide and they need to know that they are a part of your life, whatever it may be.
        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)


        • #5
          Thank you!! It really helps to know first of all that i have you guys here, and that i'm not alone. I'm not ready to share my diagnosis yet and not sure i will ever want to really talk about it, bc it's not the point. The most important to me is not to be alone.


          • #6
            Hi Milla. Have you told your husband yet?


            • #7
              Hi Milla.

              I am really sorry to hear your news. Your are not alone we are here. :-)

              As hard as it may be I think it is best to tell your family what is going on - It is unfair on yourself, going through that much stress without anyone knowing. You will be suprised how much better they will make you feel once they know. I'm sure the only thing they would like to do is help.

              In terms of health do everything you can to be as healthy and relaxed and possible, it doesn't sound big but it really is a game changer. Make sure you have a good doctors and a constant port of call, maybe a specialised health care provider? Your health is the most important thing in this situation. Any of these guys are worth calling, just to see what they offer:

              Please please please keep us informed on how it is going and if you would like to talk anymore about anything I am happy to send over my email.

              Best wishes,

              Nat xx
              Last edited by jns; 05-10-2017, 06:13 AM. Reason: Outbound links are not allowed.


              • #8
                Hey Milla the family support is the best for you to be with you every step of the way. But support groups are out there maybe asked your doctor of a local group. You can join to help with the emotional times and the feelings you are going through right now. But I sorry you going through this now but just know that you have friends here on WH to help you as well. I feel for you and God bless you and your family.
                When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.


                • #9
                  So sorry to hear. It's horrible thing to go through. Just one question, when you said you aren't ready to share, did you mean here or with your family?


                  • #10
                    No, i meant here. I already told my family, before when i posted i just didn't know how to tell them, i was confused.
                    I don't mind sharing my diagnosis, but i don't need yet, i have a really good oncologist in my family so i don't need that much advice. Just supposrt. And supposrt doesn't care which cancer i have. Or does it? Hehe


                    • #11
                      We havent heard from you again... hope ur therapy is doing well. Keep us posted.


                      • #12
                        You should have to start your treatment form the reputated hospital. Because the cancer is totally curable, you don't have to worry more if your cancer is on the initial stage or in the middle stage. Get the detailed information about the treatment, visit at. Now it's easy to remove or get rid of cancer without any surgery with interventional radiologist.
                        Last edited by jns; 05-10-2017, 06:12 AM. Reason: Outbound links are not allowed.


                        • #13
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                          • #14
                            Thinking of you.


                            • #15
                              Hey Milly

                              You have to start your treatment from the reputed hospital.