I have to ask this question...

Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I have to ask this question...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • I have to ask this question...

    Maybe someone can help with this-
    When I drink any alcohol or I'm on pain killers, why do I get in such a lovable mood? All I want to do is compliment women, it's not sexual mind you. I just love women in general.
    Now, when I'm with my wife - all I want to do is snuggle and cuddle and kiss. Not really into the sexual side of things, just want to snuggle and cuddle. I just can't get enough of it quite frankly. I'm wondering why I'm like this? It bugs the snot out of her for me to snuggle anyway, then I want it even more when I'm on the other stuff. I'd think a woman would love to have a guy like me. These things I ponder while I'm being pushed away.

  • I don't quite know how to say this but I will give it a try.

    Women like to be loved, long to be loved but don't like someone whom is on drugs/alcohol, clinging .... Being needy and over emotional they see that as well as I wrote it.

    People not men, people get over clingy when on something or angry one of the two...

    Sometimes those hugs hurt, or are in the way, or are over the top...
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment


    • Ok, I understand that. I don't mean to be clingy, just loving that's all. Not a good time for me to be that way, eh? I can see it-

      Comment


      • CW, thanks for your patience with me I really appreciate it. I'm learning Soo much about women... Ok, now I'm afraid, j/k...

        Comment


        • Not at this stage It shows your constant need for love and alcohol and or drugs are bringing it out more and that is what you need definately but it kinds of bites you in the bum if you know what I mean..

          Bugger I know
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment


          • Yes, CW I see that now. Thanks for the view that I never can see myself. Somehow, you always know what angle I need to see a particular situation and point it out to me. It's very nice, thanks.

            Comment


            • It is simply a placebo effect type thing. Anytime you have a drink, or have a pill you get snuggly. The drug itself, be it alcohol or the pain killers, will only serve as a means of relaxation not the emotional part...that is all you. Being more relaxed because of the drugs opens you up to different behaviors, that is why people get flirty or angry when they take things. The drug does not cause that behavior it only causes sedation, the relaxation, the ease...anything past that is all in your behavior. When you are relaxed because of the pain killers or alcohol you are one that likes to be a lovable teddy bear. I do not see anything wrong with that unless it turns into a over emotional clingyness.
              There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by MarkT View Post
                Maybe someone can help with this-
                When I drink any alcohol or I'm on pain killers, why do I get in such a lovable mood? All I want to do is compliment women, it's not sexual mind you. I just love women in general.
                Now, when I'm with my wife - all I want to do is snuggle and cuddle and kiss. Not really into the sexual side of things, just want to snuggle and cuddle. I just can't get enough of it quite frankly. I'm wondering why I'm like this? It bugs the snot out of her for me to snuggle anyway, then I want it even more when I'm on the other stuff. I'd think a woman would love to have a guy like me. These things I ponder while I'm being pushed away.
                Probably something in your upbringing causes you to enjoy snuggling and cuddling. When you use alcohol and or drugs, because of your specific physiology, you get lowered inhibitions. The combination of the two causes your specific response. Your wife, not having a similar response at the time, rejects your advances. Do you know how to get her in the mood for snuggling and cuddling? She may not have that response to any sort of situation if it is not part of her psychological make up. At an earlier time, she may have been tolerant of it as she saw how much you enjoyed it, but she didn't feel it herself. Essentially she was faking it, at least in part.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment


                • Mark I shoot a sentance as I see it sometimes especially when it's late here at night , other valuable members give the breakdown and explanation

                  What you need to know is there is nothing wrong with being a loving person, okay... It's just difficult if you are and the person you are with isn't and when drugs are involved, that heightens for you as the posters above have clarified as to why and it probably, emotionally makes it worse for you, your situation, hurts you even more...

                  You can feel that bliss, that connection with life, anything in life, the love of a pet, your son, hug a tree without the drugs/alcohol and just be free and true to yourself. Because whilst your wife is an important part of your life, she is one person, one "thing" in your life, not your whole life....and you need to feel that love...
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                  Comment


                  • Alcohol, narcotics are considered drugs for a reason, they alter your mood, thoughts, reflexes, behaviors, etc... just as some people get violent when using substances, you get cuddly. I'm not sure why different people have different reactions to the same drug but if I were to guess, I'd say it has to do with a persons chemical makeup, mind set, (kinda like if you get drunk because you are upset about something some people will get even more upset/depressed, and others will become happy). Just like some people go through depression and others don't. I have known people that get drunk and go out of their way to start a fight/argument because that's just how they are when they are drunk.

                    I'm not saying that you are this way but this may be something to consider... your wife may get annoyed with you when you are drunk/on pain meds. I know for me personally, I get irritated with drunk people easily (especially if I am sober, and I very rarely drink). . I don't know if it's because I'm out of that partying phase of my life but I don't have a problem with people that drink/get drunk... back in the day (well, that's another story in itself) but I just find that I get irritated with the way a lot of drunk people act. Maybe your wife feels the same way?

                    I don't mean to preach or anything but do you drink/take pain meds often? Do you drink while you are on pain meds? Both alcohol and pain medication can be addictive and harmful. If you are using one, or the other, or both on a daily basis you are probably addicted and should really seek help to get it under control.

                    Comment


                    • I want to share with you my situation with this. I love my boyfriend dearly, love cuddling with him normally. Now when he comes home from the bar sloshed, trying to kiss me, hug me, snuggle up to me, it annoys the out of me. I am not annoyed because he is trying to be loving with me, I am annoyed because his body is heavier than normal, he is sluggish and clumsy, he slobbers more, and he stinks. Maybe that is how it is with her, maybe not. When he is sober I love doing all that with him and more!

                      Comment


                      • Oh I can relate to that a little, lots1056...

                        My other half is so "happy" when he drinks, he constantly seeks my attention and "bugs" me with his questions "are you alright?" type questions smiling at me and getting to close to my personal space although he doesn't smell

                        It is annoying and I get peeved to like go away.....
                        PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                        Comment




                        • Something to think about .

                          I'm not sure When you post your most heartfelt feelings .
                          Are you on your Meds, have you had a Beer or 2 ?

                          I do know, as a WH Woman, that we have heard , read ( saw) so many beautiful feelings, sayings, things Most of us women are wanting and wishing to hear ourselves.

                          But then the next day ,night, week, you are saying that the only Woman you Want and NEED, is your Wife.
                          And the fact that she isn't into Cuddling or Kissing or Even Sex, that maybe you should go see a hooker or have bar fling or even get a Divorce.

                          Can you look back on yourself, see when and how and why you posted certain things ?

                          Were you on Pills for the other Injuries and IBS, were you still in Pain and had a Few beers , sat down on the comp & just typed out your frustrations with your situation then at another time (not on pills or beers )... Given good advice of things you had been thru that helped others with their Experiences ?


                          If you Can.. You can do something about it.

                          Even though you seem a very loving and cuddling ,s
                          Sensitive man, you possibly may be setting yourself up for bigger disappointment, by adding beer to your meds.

                          Then when your desires ... Are Not Met , you get the Frustration and the thoughts of " Cheating for Sex " or Leaving

                          Again the next Morning, Just a Smile or " Kiss or Hug " Makes your Day "
                          You... Seriously seem Glow with Pride and Accomplishment .

                          For getting the hug or smile or a lil Kiss from the Mrs.

                          Can you see where I am Going with this ?

                          Your enhanced feelings and needs for this closeness with the wife, results in enhanced Disappointment and Frustration.

                          Other times, you seem alert, dedicated to helping others and sometimes with a "flair " of Macho-ism, that can be strong at times.

                          That is when my Confusion, comes in.. One time Sensitive almost boy like adoring and needing love and comfort, the next time, the " I'm a man and no one messes with me."
                          The thought had crossed my mind your meds might be " off " or wrong, but I hadn't thought about you possibly mixing with other things, ( Beer ).

                          Now the Yo Yo effect is making sense and I feel I can read and understand you and your thought process, your concerns a bit better.
                          Thanks so much for Clarifying a possible reason for my inability to actually be focused on the problem you were attempting to get advise or thoughts on .

                          Sometimes I was " awwww, how Sweet " Other Times I was " Huh , I thought this or that was solved or Better " .
                          Then the Double Whammy. " is this the same Mark that just posted ( fill in Blank ) not doing a Spin on it " ?

                          But is is Not my Judgement to tell you anything, except how I Feel about How You feel..
                          And I feel you need more than WH to help your Beautiful Family.

                          Strive




                          Comment


                          • OP Banned thread closed.

                            CW
                            PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                            Comment

                            Unconfigured Ad Widget

                            Collapse

                            Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                            Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

                            Latest Posts in Our Forums

                            Collapse

                            Latest Topics in Our Forums

                            Collapse

                            Working...
                            X