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Am I being Unreasonable?

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  • Am I being Unreasonable?

    Okay, I realize that you have to take the good with the bad and that you're not going to enjoy your job every single day. I just want some opinions on whether I'm being reasonable or rational with being upset.

    I work for a stone quarry as the inventory coordinator. My boss rubs me with wrong way and there are days I just can't stand him...I just CAN'T sometimes, but I deal with it. Well here are a few things that have been going on lately.

    1. I had a package come from my husband yesterday (for valentines day) and he proceeded to open it, pull out what was inside and hand it to me after he looked at it and all the packing slips. It was a framed picture of our names and wedding date carved into a tree. (very sweet gift), but I'm a little upset that he felt he had the right to open a package that was addressed to me. I didn't even get to open my gift from my husband and it was none of his business.

    2. The place is ALWAYS disgustingly messy. Literally there is always pee on the toilet seat, pubic hairs, the sink is filthy, the garbages are overflowing, he spills his coffee on the floor and just leaves it there for others to step in, etc.

    3. I'm doing work that is in HIS job description and not mine. Which after a while makes me bitter, because then when things don't go right he points fingers at me, even though it's not my responsibility (he is the production manager and he has me overseeing production data entry on a daily basis and answering those questions). He gets paid good money to do his job but I'm stuck doing the dirty work for not as much as I feel I should get (I'm sure everyone feels that way from time to time though).

    4. He makes sexual comments. Example: I was telling him how my husband was in a boating accident as a child and part of his finger is gone (his first knuckle and tip is missing) and he said "Wow, that sucks for you" and chuckles. Or he'll say something like "Once you see this, you'll flip a G-spot"...it makes me so uncomfortable. Or I was commenting on how icy it was outside and that the semi couldn't get up, and he said "Well that's a common problem" and winked. Seriously...UNNECESSARY. It makes me feel awkward.

    5. I am going to have my bachelor degree in 7 months. I am a professional who wants to work in a professional environment. I don't need the disrespect, I don't need the laziness or sloppy work environment. I've worked my butt off for the past 5 years on schooling so I can get a good job...I don't feel I deserve this or worked that hard for this!

    Am I being irrational? Am I just being a big baby?? WHY DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS? Perhaps I should just suck it up.

    Most will probably say "You should talk to him about it or report him", but here's the thing...he's the owner's son. How do I do that without causing an even bigger issue?

  • Oh and to add another thing. He's very rude because he'll be sitting in his office (which is 3 office away from mine) and he'll yell my name for me to come look at something. Have you ever heard of a phone? Perhaps...CALL ME instead of yelling out my name across the building as if I'm your wife, mother, maid etc....RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment


    • 1) Rude, but unfortunately anything that comes to your work will be considered work related, so he had the right to open it. However, that was totally uncalled for and an invasion of privacy.

      2) You can try complaining to Human Resouces, if you have one. Try bringing it up at the next company meeting. Don't complain about it, bring it up more like "lets all pitch in to keep this place clean"

      3) Being a boss is about delegating work. That's his right. However, when things don't go his way, he also has to take responsibility for it. Being the boss means you take responsibility for the work your staff is doing for you. Have a serious conversation about it with him. Make a list of all the things that you do that are not part of your job responsibility. Then tell him you deserve a raise and promotion based on that.

      4) Completely unacceptable. This is something that definitely needs to be taken to HR. Keep a very well kept record of every time something like this happens.

      5) Welcome to the real world. It sucks, but unfortunately, even in the most professional offices, laziness, lack of respect and crude comments can be rampant. Its how you deal with it that will exemplify your professionalism.

      And the last comment about your boss yelling, once again, happens in the most professional offices. Having a crappy boss is not fun.


      I'm not saying you don't have reason to be upset. I would too (and have been). It just that this type of behavior is not as scarce as we would like it to be.
      Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

      Comment


      • The way things sound, I don't expect things to change at all.

        If you're waiting for your degree and need the financial support, accept the facts knowing that as soon as you get a better job, you're outta there. You're not married to this job and committed for life.

        If you can't handle it, quit or find another job somewhere else.

        You have the final decision, but don't expect them to change. He sounds like a jerk and probaly say's those things to see if it's gonna upset you. If he doesn't get physically disrespectful, ignore him. Most dogs that bark don't bite, but they sure as hell get on your nerves.

        You'll be on to better things soon!

        Comment


        • The way things sound, I don't expect things to change at all.

          If you're waiting for your degree and need the financial support, accept the facts knowing that as soon as you get a better job, you're outta there. You're not married to this job and committed for life.

          If you can't handle it, quit or find another job somewhere else.

          You have the final decision, but don't expect them to change. He sounds like a jerk and probaly say's those things to see if it's gonna upset you. If he doesn't get physically disrespectful, ignore him. Most dogs that bark don't bite, but they sure as hell get on your nerves.

          You'll be on to better things soon!

          Comment


          • Thanks. It's just frustrating, because yes, this stuff DOES happen, but honestly, I've never worked in an environment like this before. At least not to this extreme or variety. I've worked for small businesses, I've worked for businesses with 500+ employees, and I've also worked for the government. I have never had to deal with the disrespect and filthiness as I do here. I guess I'm not really sure how to handle my emotions, because by the end of the day most days I'm drained from holding it all in. And then my husband has to hear me complain about it. Basically my plan is to hold old until after my degree and try find a better job. I just didn't know if maybe I was making a mountain out of a molehole.

            In addition, there is no HR (they fired her) so I'm stuck on that one and he's the one responsible for cleaning this building...I thought about doing it occasionally but I don't want to volunteer that task to be added onto my already long list of duties I shouldn't be doing. If I see a piece of paper laying on the ground or paper toweling do I pick it up? Of course, but I'm not about to begin to clean toilets and take out the trash.

            Comment




            • You have every right to be frustrated Liz.

              But what to do about it is complicated. You only have a few months until your degree , can you hold on until then ?
              Do you have any Supervisory position, like to delegate tasks ?
              If so write up a revolving Chore list. Depending on how many workers there are, the clean up bathroom and any break area can be shared.
              If you can't delegate any chores, you can petition for a Maintenance/ Cleaning crew to be added to the company's job listing.

              Take pic's of the overflowing trash cans and pubic hairs on the toilet and scum in the sink. These are Sanitary issues and should be reported to someone higher up that your Boss is . You can do this anonymously
              if you are worried about retribution .

              As for his Sexual comments. That is so against any workplace rules. Again have proof, write it down in front of him, Yes in front of him, grab a piece of paper or carry a notepad, Write time, date and what was said. If he asks what you are doing, tell him " Keeping notes on Sexual and Inappropriate Comments as I was told to do" , say this with a smile . He'll think you have talked to someone about it already .

              As for your doing his job and not getting a pay raise. Just do your job, take your time, do it right. Keep busy, too busy to do his Job . If one of his responsibilities comes up to your desk, redirect the person to him . Tell them you will give him the message or you will transfer them or give out his extension .

              If he asks about it, just smile and tell him that you weren't informed of your Promotion and pay raise yet and you don't want to overstep your position by doing what he is supposed to do as his job description, you certainly don't want him thinking you are after his Job .

              Try not to take work home with you, leave the frustration there at work. And stop sharing any lil tidbits about your home life, hubby, kids or anything . He can't make cracks about Hubby's Stubby finger and G spots if he doesn't know about it.

              Are you the only woman there ? Is there any way you can get some other co~workers to join you in a complaint about the bathrooms ? It sounds like there are a bunch of Slobs that act like children, that need their " Mommy " to clean up after them . Maybe you will have to leave them little Notes, like clean the seat of you drip on it, Rinse/ Wash/ wipe out the sink after washing hands.

              I hope you make it through this and get a Better Job, one where you are paid appropriately,that you are Respected and Valued for your work and ethics.

              One thing you can do for your Frustrations, is take a Pic of him, put it on a Dart or cork board, have some Darts ...Full length pics are best and aim for the Nads .. Lol
              That was just to cheer you up and hopefully laugh a bit .





              Comment


              • No you are NOT being unreasonable.

                He is an utter pig by the sounds of it. I appreciate that the quarry business is a traditionally masculine environment but that's really no excuse. Trust me when I say that no man on earth would ever get away with treating my woman like this.

                As much as I like the sound of Babygirls advice to sweetly deflect his work duties back onto him, I doubt it will work at all since precedents have been set and reinforced over time. You've been doing his work for so long that it's now customary behaviour.

                And if his boss is as big of a pig as he is and they've know each other for some time, then if you 'rock the boat' they'll just agree that you are getting 'uppity' or whatever and there goes a written warning to you or even the loss of your job.

                Unfortunately I think you have to suck it up. That's a real shame, but you've kind of let this go for so long that you don't have much of a leg to stand on I think.

                Alex

                Comment


                • On my tablet, quick response only,sorry. Record his comments discreetly on your phone and take them to a win-win-no-fee employment lawyer, him,or his boss, boost all three. Those soulless blood sucking lawyers will jump on him like hungry dogs on sizzling steak.
                  If you don't quite want to make so many waves record him, build up a collection then email him the comments typed up informing him you have recordings and expect things to drastically improve or yo yo 'll go to us boss and/ or the lawyers.
                  No matter how objective we try to be, we all see through our own eyes...

                  Comment


                  • Babygirl and Harmony, just a little adjustment, the jerks boss is his father!

                    Comment


                    • Unfortunately there isn't a good way to report him or talk to him. Coming from a similar situation where I actually had a law suit against an individual and the company we worked for here's what my lawyer told me.
                      1. Take note (date and time) of what was said or done by him that was inappropriate in a notebook
                      2.you have to talk to him or his boss approach them with your notes.
                      3. If nothing changes or you get some kind of punishment then they are in the wrong.
                      4. Seek legal council. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Something needs to be done. Save yourself and someone else from suffering through this.
                      I hope this helps! Good luck

                      Comment


                      • Everybody has given advice, whatever you do, remember the long term consequences of your actions.

                        If you do escelate things to a law suit, you will always be branded as a trouble maker and may have problems getting work anywhere else. Always try to resolve things internally within the company. Right now he is just making rude comments. He hasn't make physical advances or demanded sexual favors or threatened your job.

                        Also, try to resolved things now. The economy is bad and there is not garuntee that when you get a degree you will be able to find a better job. There is a good possibility you will be there for a while. So so whatever you can to make the situation workable. Try to have professional sit down discussions with your boss. Somtimes when you demonstrate the professionalism, other people react professionally back.
                        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

                        Comment

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