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  • jns and sp, fill in the blank with a gender pronoun - just the first one that would come to mind our that you'd commonly hear mentioned:

    ___ settled down after ___ got married.

    Was your first though he or she? There's a concept that men are somewhat uncivilized until they marry and that a woman calms and focuses them. The same idea is not as prevalent for women, at least not that I've heard. Not only is it accepted, but it's expected. If a man doesn't "settle down" he's viewed as immature. Either way, men do undergo change when they get into a relationship and make a family.

    There are cultural and sexual differences, but the experience isn't generally less profound for us.
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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    • It's interesting that you say you have basically turned into one another. I often find myself doing/sayings things that I know my husband does, even small things like the way he pushes his glasses up is nose a little when they are sliding (I never used to do this but now when wearings sunglasses find myself doing it all the time.) I would say it is inevitable we will all pick up traits of our partners, especially those of have been together for a long time. I'd be more concerned if the opposite happened and neither picked up on the little things.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Stillness View Post
        jns and sp, fill in the blank with a gender pronoun - just the first one that would come to mind our that you'd commonly hear mentioned:

        ___ settled down after ___ got married.
        I thought of a female pronoun and thought that was what you were pointing towards.
        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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        • Originally posted by DreamP346 View Post

          I thought of a female pronoun and thought that was what you were pointing towards.
          Oh well.
          "Those sowing seed with tears
          Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

          Comment


          • Originally posted by DreamP346 View Post

            I thought of a female pronoun and thought that was what you were pointing towards.
            have never heard of a female settling down but have heard of men settling down
            but maybe now that women are getting married later, they also hear "when are you going to settle down?"


            Comment


            • Originally posted by Stillness View Post

              If a man doesn't "settle down" he's viewed as immature. .
              do you think George Clooney was immature? (although he was once married years ago)
              probably his friends did consider him immature?

              Comment


              • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                do you think George Clooney was immature? (although he was once married yrs ago)
                probably his friends did consider him immature?
                I have a lot of single friends. I don't see singleness as immaturity.

                I was referring to a married man behaving as a bachelor.
                "Those sowing seed with tears
                Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                Comment


                • I get asked fairly often why I've not found a steady man and remarried.
                  Truth is, I'd love to be married again, or at least an established relationship. It's just slim pickin's out there

                  I don't know why we call it "settling down" tho. I did as much drinking and partying as a married couple. I don't anticipate that changing anything this time either. I don't enjoy that like I used to, so I have settled down as a single actually.

                  What irritates me is the stigma attached to being single. That I'm nuts, or hard to get along with, or have my expectations too high, can't be satisfied, etc.

                  Rambling, I don't know what my point was now! Lol

                  Comment


                  • I think it's called "settling down" because of the nature of marriage. Even the word "husband" implies that he will be taking care of a home, not living a freewheeling lifestyle out and about.

                    In my faith, we get a lot of counsel about singleness - not to pressure people or pry into their business and to regard singleness as a state at least as honorable as marriage, if not more. Jesus was famously single and so was the most prolific penman of the Christian Scriptures, Paul.
                    "Those sowing seed with tears
                    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                    Comment


                    • I am not sure we influenced each other personalities.
                      I do know my communication skills improved, and she influenced positively my understanding of nutrition in general.
                      Behold the presence of the Father in all beings...

                      Comment

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