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    Hey gals!!!
    So recently one of the guys in an online support group came out in public (on Facebook I think) about his incontinence in hopes of getting rid of the stigma and educating people about it, while that is something I might be far off from doing I still opened up with my story with some anonymity, so
    in the spirit of breaking any stereotype or educating about being an amputee/incontinent or just in general about people's attitudes towards disability... You are open to ask any question on the topic from me, I'll try to be as open and honest as possible, hopefully both you and I learn something from this, or just get some sort of confidence out of it.....
    Ask away!

  • #2
    Have you had/do you have romantic relationships? Did/does your situation make it rough? If you don't have one, do you have a desire to [again]? Do fears hold you back?
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Stillness View Post
      Have you had/do you have romantic relationships? Did/does your situation make it rough? If you don't have one, do you have a desire to [again]? Do fears hold you back?
      I've had a relationship before though it was very short lived. The situation makes it hard in the sense that the person who you are with has to be okay with your situation I guess. At the time of the relationship I was having kind of a rough time because my bowels were acting up so I just couldn't handle a relationship with that. Right now I'm not really in a relationship but I sort of desire one. I'm just not sure how to proceed with it and at some point every partner will want or get into"bedroom" activities. Which is what I'm most afraid of. Personally I don't have a want for that kind of thing but I feel like that's because I've been incontinent and dealing with wearing protection all the time.
      One of the things that worry me with even a normal relationship like even making friends is that they'll be affected by it, I'm always worried about smell even though I take so much precaution with it and in reality even when I've had an accident there is no smell because I do all the needful. But either way at one point I fear someone will smell something which worries me the most. Sort of a paranoia which I should probably try and get rid of because it's irrational and non-existant.

      Personally for me being an amputee doesn't affect relationships at all, I mean all it changes is how I get around and sometimes help I might need. Over time, people learn to not react when they see me and see that I'm missing something.

      Now that I'm in uni, or will be in uni maybe I'll push myself to be a little more open and friendly, there's no rush for me to find someone....
      Hopefully that answers your questions, let me know if it didn't.
      Last edited by miahere; 03-11-2017, 01:21 AM.

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      • #4
        You did answer my question. I hope you don't mind me making some comments on your thread.

        My take on romance is that it's overrated. I'm not just saying that. I've told my eligible bachelor friends that basically have their pick of women the same thing. My relationship is really good right now, but I had to work hard at it and it has rough times. Also, I've just plain been fortunate in selecting a mate. I truly feel like singleness is better if a person can do without. When you're single, there may be times when you want a partner, but if you're in a relationship there will be times you want to be single.

        Frienships are different. I think they're pretty much necessary for us to live our full potential as human beings. As far as smells, I'm still learning in that department. I have a very keen nose and am constantly concerned about my own smell. But I've learned that other people don't smell me like I smell myself. Also, I think that people really conscious about themselves tend to be overly concerned in general.

        My wife was recently panicking at a wedding reception because she forgot to put on deodorant or something. She made a big deal of it and found one of our friends that had some deodorant or something and went out to the car, cleaned up, and put it on. The thing is, I never smelled her.

        Also, just a couple of weeks ago, I did smell one of my young, pretty friends who I didn't expect to. She keeps herself up pretty well, but had arranged a party we were at and was dancing. She was funky, but it was the end of the night and it wasn't offensive. I was surprised that it wasn't. When I was younger I was more judgemental. I guess we change as we mature and make allowances for people we love.

        I have a friend that's mentally disabled - actually I've had a few, but one I spent a lot of time with over the years (up until a few months ago) and got close to. That's not the kind of friendship I ever imagined myself having, but I truly enjoy his company and tolerate his issues. That defines every good friendship, really.
        "Those sowing seed with tears
        Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

        Comment


        • #5
          See, I've always known or maybe just thought that romance is something we made up, love is made to keep the human race reproducing to further it's species. I get it that a lot of people wouldn't agree with me on this, I guess I'm kind of a science enthusiast, but I still have feelings of wanting too experience those particular feelings of attachment, and there will be times that even for me I get self conscious about my body, particularly about my having a flat chest because at high school even now in college I feel like my body has betrayed me in every way. I don't feel feminine anymore and I want to. Hope to doesn't sound weird but that's what I'm feeling... But I know what the media shows most of the time is overrated and those are standards people can't keep up to.

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          • #6
            Did you see the recent controversy over Emma Watson's topless photoshoot? I think she's pretty much universally viewed as attractive, even though she's flat chested. I don't really feel like the media is completely to blame for the fixation with large-chestedness in women. I think it's partly our culture, because when you look at a lot of the women held up as models and beautiful, they're not really big up top. This particular flat-chested lady was literally cast as Beauty in the iconic role.

            That's why I started this thread: http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...st-size-matter. What's in our own minds about other people's perception of beauty and what's actually out there are not necessarily the same thing.

            Also, love is real. The fairy tale version is not. There is no happily ever after - not without struggle, disappointment, sacrifice, and pain.
            "Those sowing seed with tears
            Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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            • #7
              Yeah, I guess I sometimes get a little self conscious sometimes.....

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Stillness View Post
                ... even though she's flat chested.
                Maybe I saw the wrong photos, but I've seen flat chested and I didn't think she was flat chested. I think that fashion, advertising and the media have driven this train wreck that causes women to doubt whether they can live up to societies ideals.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment


                • #9
                  I do think Emma Watson is a beautiful woman. I have thought part of the reason she is so striking and loved by media and fashion is due to her youthful appearance. She looks 12-16 even tho she's now 26, according to google.

                  I checked out the photo since I was googling her anyway, and i agree with jns that she isn't flat. She's not voluptuous by any means, but for such a tiny girl she has average sized breasts.

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                  • #10
                    Actually I feel like now more than ever people have a different perception. I mean I look my age, but I have the chest of a 12 year old, maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration but it's close enough, but I guess the world is a little more accepting of any type of person........I didn't mean to go off topic but this thread is for any topic so that's fine.....

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                    • #11
                      I had a gf that did not really have breasts. She did have nipples that responded to touch. What I found amazing was how clearly I could hear her heartbeat when I put my ear on her chest.
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Emma Watson has alot bigger boobs than alot of girls, including me. If fact I'd say from the pics from that vanity fair photoshoot that she's pretty typical for models.... it's one of the reasons I can't get much modeling work, actually. now my nipples, that's a whole other thing.... maybe it's something about girls with really small boobs, but mine are SUPER sensitive and respond crazy to touch, they pretty much swell up instantly to like 3 times their normal size. I rarely wear bras (because, why?) and sometimes this swelling thing happens for no reason at all in public, which can be super embarassing depending on the shirt i'm wearing. the worst is this one bikini top I have which is light colored and a little tight on me, so if it happens it's just ridiculous looking.

                        ah well, I'm still a really lucky person in so many ways!!!! sorry if i'm kind of going off topic here!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Jessa1998 View Post
                          If fact I'd say from the pics from that vanity fair photoshoot that she's pretty typical for models
                          I don't think models are typically known for big breasts. And I it goes without saying that photoshoots presented to the public are "enhanced." When I've seen her in movies and in untouched pics, she's small-chested.
                          "Those sowing seed with tears
                          Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                          Comment

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