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No help for sexual assault victims

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  • No help for sexual assault victims

    I have been trying for years to find help for this issue and I'm losing all hope. I'm at the end of my rope. I am a survivor of sexual assault. It happend a couple times in my childhood at the doctor. I had vaginal exams forced on me. As a result, the very idea of the gynecologist sends me into severe panic. I have tried to go have a pap, pelvic, with no luck. I usually can' make it thru the parking lot and into the building without throwing up. Once I made it into the room, but passed out cold during an attack. So, I began searching for a doctor who would give me a sedative/tranquilizer/laughing gas.....anything at all, to relax me enough to get thru the procedure. No luck. I have probably called 100 doctors in 3 states over the past 5 years, and they all say " no we don' do that, and we don't know anyone who will". I've even tried gynecologist who work out of hospitals. My husband and I went to the hospital to talk to th am and see I'd there was anything at all that could be done about this. All we hear is no, no, no. I' at my breaking point. I'm 35 and never had a pap. I' at a loss as to what to do. Maybe someone on here will have some advice.

  • Just out of curiosity, have you explained the reason behind the need, when you called to inquire?
    Are you in the US?
    Do you have insurance?

    It's hard for me to believe that no doctor is willing to do this. Sedatives and anesthesia are routinely used for procedures of various length and criticality.

    I have a hunch this is related to insurance more so than the doctor's willingness or ability to do the procedure.

    Have you considered hypnosis? There are forms of hypnosis that are used in conjunction with mild sedatives to perform major invasive procedures. It may be a good option for you to consider. It's growing in popularity but finding a knowledgeable practitioner may be difficult.

    Have you been through intensive trauma therapy? Managing that may be the first step, if you haven't already.

    I'm so sorry first that you experienced that as a child and then again to be neglected by our medical community.


    • Do you trust your husband enough to let him examine your woman parts? If that is a yes, I wonder if a gynecologist would let him take lead in the procedure. I say this because I have been told in the past by a girlfriend that she would not let a doctor examine her woman parts but she was comfortable with asking my opinion about various bumps inside her labia minora near her vagina. To see what she was talking about took a close inspection and in my opinion was nothing out of the ordinary. You can search for [pap smear detailed procedure] and view several YouTube videos to see the procedure. It is quite simple. I found this one to be good [Pap Test - A step-by-step look at what happens during the test] (South West Regional Cancer Program).

      BYW, there is a home test kit available now. I do not know if it is effective.
      Last edited by jns; 05-23-2018, 06:47 PM.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • I do explain when I call about the panic attacks, and the fact that I haven' been able to get thru an exam ever. I don't explain the reason for the panic and anxiety when I call the offices. I have however, explained the issue in detail...once to a female doctor. She was awful. She basically told me I needed to get over it. When she said that, I got upset and started crying. She then rolled her eyes. She made it so much harder for me to work up the courage to tell anyone about this. Another issue might be the fact that I live in Ohio. Drug abuse runs rampant around here, and I have a feeling that when I call and ask for a tranquilizer or a sedative, they just think I'm another junkie trying to get drugs. I don' know how to convince them that' not the case. I do have insurance. I am willing to pay whatever it costs to get what I need, tho. Money isn't an issue, and I've made that known in the past.


        • I'm sorry that doc responded so poorly to your needs. Unacceptable. She's right that ya gotta "get over it" in a sense, but getting over this isn't a trivial matter that you should be able to just snap out of. Unprofessional, lacking empathy and cold.

          Was that the doc you see for routine care?
          I'm curious what you've done for birth control over the years? Do you have issues with sexual contact?


          • I have thyroid disease, so I don't ovulate but a couple times a year. I suppose that has been a blessing in disguise, although I wish I could be a mother someday. Others have told me if I were to get pregnant, I could always opt for a csections. So that' a thought.


            • No, my husband and I have a great sex life. The issues only surface in a medical setting


              • April - I'm so sorry you went through that. I know that when I was a young child, it was considered normal for a pediatrician to exam the genitals. I hated it. I started my period very young and I remember that once that occurred I began using that as an excuse not to get the pelvic exam. Although the doctor wasn't doing anything inappropriate to me, it certainly felt inappropriate at the time. I can only imagine how I'd feel if my doctor had done MORE than he was supposed to.

                Might sound crazy, but have you tried hypnotism? (I just read Kitty's response and see she already suggested this too!) Some people believe in that, some people don't....but I have heard of many people who had relief from it. Also, have you researched into CBD oil a lot? Are you able to get anything like Zanax or Valium from your general doctor? Most doctors are willing to prescribe those in small doses and qty's. Of course, a good doctor will also recommend you seek intense therapy and not just give you pills to bandaid the issue.
                "Be what you're looking for."


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