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Is My Hymen Normal? Help, Anyone!

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  • Is My Hymen Normal? Help, Anyone!

    Howdy all! This is my first post.

    I'm a virgin, 20 years old, but I'm just beginning to try vaginal penetration-- for starters, my boyfriend once fit his entire middle finger up there and it was a little uncomfortable, but aside from that I've had little luck. I can't manage to get a tampon up me (might be nerves and user error). I've never fingered myself before or had anything else inside of me.

    HERE'S THE SKINNY: When I inspect myself, I cannot really clearly identify a vaginal hole! I'm familiar with the anatomy but I haven't been able to actually lay eyes on a clear opening??? Granted, I didn't have a hand mirror and kind of had to look at myself from a strange angle... like i was giving birth in front of my mirror! We managed to try having sex a couple weeks ago, but the smallest (I'm talking an inch at the most) penetration made me bleed the first time I tried. It has only ever been equally uncomfortable since and we can't get further without pain. We've tried different positions and I'm always relaxed, aroused, and well lubricated, so my concern is the possibility of my hymen opening being too small. I've read stuff online about microperforate hymens. Is that even likely? I'm going to see my gyno eventually and finally get this sorted out. But for now...

    Does this sound familiar to anyone? Should I just embrace the pain and try pushing past it? Help! I just wanna have normal sex! (p.s., feel free to share if you've been in a situation like this, I feel super alone :-( )

  • Sometimes the hymen can be stretched taut and is very unbreakable. In these cases it is best to have your doctor break the hymen in his office. This will alleviate some of the discomfort the next time you decide to have your partner penetrate you. The other thing you can do is purchase dilators and start with the smallest, gradually working up to larger sizes.
    That which we forget may as well never really happened.

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