My name's Dave, I'm alomst 50 and I'm at my wits end.
I'd like to think I'm supportive to my partner who for the last 4 - 5 years (she's now almost 54) has menopause. Over this time our relationship has deterated to a point now where every day is a living nightmare.
She did try hormone replacement therapy and that helped. However, whether it was a case of self destructive behaviour or something else, but she had an argument with her Gyno's secretary and refused to go back.
Hence here script ran out and she's not been taking medication since. It's been 11 months now or there abouts.
Since this time things have got worse - actually a lot worse than they were before the she took the medication. To the point where I seroiusly can't take much more - I'm losing my sanity and am starting to feel victimised.
I've made a list of the following symptoms which are evident right now:
Night Sweats - these have been ongoing for a number of years.
Mood Swings - lately she is perminately angry with me.
Low Tollence Levels - even the smallest things can trigger her to lose the plot.
Loss of Concerntration - forgets things, become disorentated.
Depression - speaks of wanting to her drive car into a tree.
Zero Labido - forget about sex, we don't even kiss anymore.
Super Critical - picks on anything and everything - to the point of picking up other people's mistakes - can't even drive to the shops without her commenting on another driver doing this, that or the other.
Unaproachable - Feel like I'm perminantly walking on egg shells.
Loss of Interest - Just doesn't seem concerned about interests she once had.
Most of my waking hours are spent in my home office because frankly it's a good way to avoid any sort of confrontation. If I'm else where in the home it's likely I'll say (in her mind) the wrong thing or look the wrong way (I'm sure you gfet what I mean). That just gets her even more angry - she becomes really hurtful and nasty to the point where I get angry too. So I figure it's better I just stay in my office.
I've tried talking to her but all I get is things thrown back in my face. So I give that one a miss these days. I've tried writing her letters so she can read at her own pace. That seems to work and she promises to get help but nothing eventuates, it all goes back to the same old same old a few days later.
When I prompt her about what she's going to to do I get a backlash of anger so I just shut up and retreat back to my office. What hurts the most is the vast difference in her personality, mood et al.
Before the menopause hit she was a happy, friendly person. She really cared about herself, about me and showed empathy for others around her. We used to talk heaps and share our life together.
But now it's the complete opposite. The only thing she seems to enjoy are crossword puzzles - to the point of them being an obsession. However IMHO better she be doing these than going nuts at me, our puppy or any other number of issues that seem to be the brought out by this menopause on steriods.
I honestly don't know what else to do. I still love my SO very much but I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. When things eventually get too much for her and she starts crying - which happens a lot lately too, she tells me she's sorry for being nasty and what not, she tells me she still loves me et al. However that can all change in a click of a finger.
It's really starting to affect and take a toll on my sanity.
I'd sure appreciate some advice, thanks!
Cheers

Dave
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