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My ex broke up with me, depression

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  • My ex broke up with me, depression

    Hi my name is Gary, and since May 1st, 2008, I've been going out with my girl friend, and things were good, until the end of May, when, I introduced her to many friends, couples, who came to visit me, when we went out for supper, at Lone Star, at the bar, she took a fit at me, thought I was looking at the blond, dancing on the stage, but it was not the case. So, each time we went out, she would always take a fit, for the same thing.

    After two months, she told me that, three months before she met me, she had just broken up with her ex-boyfriend, who she had been with, for 2 years, which they had a house together, and his things were still there, and she wanted me too move in, which I said no, and right away, she said you don't love me, but I said, you are not finish with him, she got a lawyer, to get his name off of the house, and at the same time, she had too, get another lawyer, for her ex-husband, who she has 3 children, who decided not too pay alimony anymore, so this went on all summer, finally around September, her ex-boyfriend came to get his things, which ended in some trouble, and with her ex-husband, for the alimony, everything was settled, then, we always had a few arguments here, and there, she was always up and downs.

    Then has the weeks go by, around, just before xmas she wanted to change jobs, but went for a week to Florida, for a break, and went with a women friend, and that did not turn out good, did not rest at all. So, in December, she then told me she was taking antidepressants, and that she was very depressed, cause a couple of years back, one of her brothers committed suicide, they were a big family, and she is the baby of the family, never knew her father, but her brothers told her, about him, an alcoholic, and was not faithful to her mother, and always beat her up, and in the her relationship, with her ex-boyfriend, she said he always beat her up, but found out, that at parties of friends, she always took fits, and hit him, she does this when she drinks.

    So, around January, she changed jobs, still working for the Gouvernment, but she did not like the work, or her boss, and during the winter, she was very depressed, she did not get paid for a month, and again, her ex-husband stopped alimony, we only went out for supper, in restaurants, that went well, for our sex life, we had some but, not like a normal couple should have, also, she has 2 rupture hernial disc, which, she is in pain a lot, and can t do the same things, she did before, her injury, that also gets her fustrated, and down. So, when she has trouble, in her life, she always said all winter long, I wish god, would come and get me, or saying of joining her brother, and committing suicide, and when I went back to my home town, maybe 3 times, she always took a fit, thinking in her head, that I will sleep with my ex's, or someone, else, but was just going to see my friends, she could not come, she had to work, and a lot of times when we talk, she sometimes thought I don t love her , and I am better off without her, and she had a lot of problems, with her 3 children, 2 girls, now 17, and one boy now 18.

    She talked too me about moving in, saving money, so since June, I moved in, and that was up and down, and from June up until august 15th, I think we had sex about 5 times, and on august 15th she stop taking her medication, for her back, and her antidepressants, and she just finished reading a book, about low self esteem, she did a 360, she went to a bar restaurant, not inviting me, but I called, and like she had no choice to invite me, so I went with my son, but not feeling invited, so when I got there she was with 3 guys, and a forth sat down, and she did not introduce me to him saying I am her boyfriend, so I left, but too go back later, I had a feeling about the guy, and I caught them, touching each other, and kissing, and not just a small kiss, sat between them calmly, saying why are you doing this, cause you have low self esteem, and the booze, she replied, he makes me feel good, when I see him, he makes me feel like a princess, but in her text, she said she felt bad, and had no intention of hurting me, but she did, she said she was thanking him, not away to thank someone, but did not want me to give her accusations or the guilt trip, saying she did not do anything wrong, but didn t come home that night, anyway, with all of the texts, and the letters I wrote, telling her how I feel about her and the situation, that had passed, she wrote me a letter, about how she loves me and does not want to fight, going back to my house, and still want to do things together, and that she has not recuperate from her other break up, and that she needs time to find herself, cause this is not the way she wants too live, and hoping once she does find herself, that I will still want too be with her, saying I can t truly love you, if I can t love myself, I will always love you, respect, and be faithful to you, but it did not show me that night at the restaurant, so I decided to leave, but could not get back into my house, cause I rented it out, and had trouble there, so instead I told her, of staying there until I can get my house back, its better I live so, I can give you your space and time, that she ask for.

    But the first week, I kept emailing her, and telling that I am there for her, and that I love her, wanted to put her on my facebook as a friend, but she said look, you don t need me you have 100 friends, who care for you, look, I don t even have that on my two hands to count that I have friends who care, no one cares for me, I am alone like always, and during the time she stop her medication, she started to get symptoms, irritation, mood swings, erratic reactions, paranoia, and dizziness, diarrhea, sleeping problems, and saying no one cares, everyone his mad at me, asking to give me time, it is like she got mad at everyone, her children, myself, my son accusing him that she is afraid of him, and he might kill her, yelling at the bank teller, and getting into it with her brother, saying bad things too him, and to top it off, the same day, she was yelling to a bank teller, one of her guy friends who she knew for a couple of years, who is now going out with a girl I knew from my home town, invited us to a pub, but they did not know we were together,

    so the Sunday before, she said she did not too know nothing about her friend anymore(jean), but I showed up before she did, and after an hour, she showed up, and saw me and my son, sitting at the table, she got lost going there, and as soon as she sat down, she started to give Jean , and would not stop, we had already eaten supper, so we went to sit outside, and she started to text him, and continue to give him , the I talked a bit with jean, and his girlfriend, the said, I think I should go, I am tired and don t feel comfortable, and she showed up outside, and has I got up and started to walk to the outside bar to pay, she said out loud, you don t have to leave cause I am here, he is on your side anyway, and as I was paying she got up and started too yell at him, he told her too shut up, but she would not.

    I had left, only to get a text saying , yeah you really love me, you want me too commit suicide, did not understand why she was talking like that, saying my love is just bull for her, and realized that I am full of that night, but I did not do anything wrong, and found out a couple of days later, that she would not stop yelling at jean, and saying, your playing behind my back inviting him, so apparently it got ugly, he threw the rest of his beer about a 1/3 from his glass in her face, for her to wake up and shut up, but that did not work, the she told everyone, that he threw the plastic beer pitcher which was empty but told everyone it was full, at her face, but he threw it beside her, and in her text continuing too me, I never want too see you anymore, she told her children, that it is over, and she does not love me anymore, cause in her mind that night, I was trying to take her friends away from her, but I was not i had left, she was the one responsible for her erratic reactions, and saying in her letter, she still wants to do things with me, so try to understand that.

    So, I don t know if I am wasting my time, or if I do love her, she will get back on track, but realize it could take some time, no idea. Well, thanks for answering, but I am not with her at the moment, she doesn t want too see me, and is very mad at me, because, I talked to her family, and friends, but her family knows, how she is, but they don't want to get involved, her friend ask her yesterday, if she misses me, she said, no, text me this morning, saying, I will have a box 4 u, with stuff u forgot, please stop talking about me and telling lies or personal info of my life 2 people, but I did not text her, then she text me again, saying, I am losing people I love and I can even lose my job with your drug lies. You said U loved me .... , the lies about the drugs, is not a lie, and I did not tell anyone for her to lose her job just her friend, and talked to the pharmacist about the dangers of her quit-

    Hello there James or someone else, well we are October 1st, and it has been since a month, I wrote the letter stating, going out with a depressed women, well since then, we only exchange emails and text until the 12th of September, and went to get the rest of my things, which she did not look too good, telling me, she should have never got married, have kids, or buy the house, and ask a few question, that she could not give me a good answer, asking her, who did I talk bad about you to, and she can only come up with the guy friend she had it out with, and her brother, who he had it out with also, and asking her about the letter she wrote me giving her time and space to work herself out, and if I will be still there, she said she meant it, but not anymore, after all the emails, and texts we exchange, but didn t say anthing wrong or nasty, just the truth, she said she does not love my anymore, she was getting agitated, and pushing me out the door, outside, I yelled out loud in frustration, and left.

    I emailed her the next day with nothing to lose, she said I hurt her beyond repair, but told her she was hurt beyond repair, even before I met her. Now the gal friend who they work in the same building, they talk a lot about her problems she is having, and telling her friend, that she is always alone, that she has no one. She has more problems, one of her daughters got caught for sale of drugs, and has to go to court, but still refuses to come home, saying she is afraid of her mother, saying her mother is crazy, and she owes money to the Gouvernment, and owes her ex husband, which he gave her too much on the alimony, and gave her a deadline too pay it back, and now she can not pay her mortgage, its up for sale, but with the market down, she has trouble to sale it, just more stress for her.

    So you think, that it is not too late to give her that time, you think she will finally get the help she is waiting for, on a waiting list, it has been over 10 months now, and no answer. I know deep down she still loves me, and I know she misses me, but I guess with all of the stress, and depressiveness, her mind his not straight. Well thank you if someone answers me or do I have to post reply again.ing her pills, that is all, but did not answer her. I just type a small letter saying, you know you are right, but I am not telling any lies, for you to lose your job, or lose the ones you love, i was acting kind of crazy, a panic state of mind, but your actually right, I agree with the break up, its the best thing.
    Last edited by WildChild; 10-14-2009, 04:12 PM. Reason: paragraph breaks to improve readability

  • There is so much in your story I have no idea where to start?

    You love this woman?

    She really hasn't treated you well all the way through, jealousy, getting you to share expenses, treating you badly and she has alot of issues.

    I'm glad that she "wants" to change somewhat by reading that book but she has to stay on medication.

    Alcoholism can be passed down I believe from family members and if she saw all of that as a child, this is why she ended up pregnant with 3 kids, which he doesn't acknowledge with financial assistance as well as an abusive male as a boyfriend.

    But, your a "nice guy" and she can't deal with that because she doesn't know what that is.

    She won't be able to deal with it either until and if, she can get rid of her own low self esteme.

    You obviously have a lot to offer and therefore, you really need to let go, it's 10 months ago.. You also deserve better.

    Do you really think that you can "save her?", you can't because she doesn't want to and also it's been so long since she has been like this.

    You know, when we are lonely, we do settle and we do want the lost soul to help and nurture and guide but if she was willing to do that, she would have. She doesn't think she is worth much, that's why she kissed that guy and in-front of you? Sweet, let it all go and fall in love with someone whom is worth it.

    I am sorry this post got missed but I am sure there will be further replies than just mine.

    Take care and get out there and find that lady that you can call your own.



    • too much drama, and there are too many nice women out there. it's hard to leave someone you have feelings for, but you need to move on.


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