Women’s Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Too much and can't give anything up...

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
Clear All
new posts

  • Too much and can't give anything up...

    I am currently working and in school. I have been doing this both in undergrad and now in law school. Up till now I was working about 32-34 hours a week and going to school parttime. Now I am working an average of 42-44 hours a week and going to school parttime. The classes I have also have a lot of more tasks throughout the semester this time.

    I have been soooo on edge the last two months. I can't quit my job (I got a promotion and a big pay raise) and I can't quit school. I also have to find time to exercise to help with the stress level and to see my friends, but I feel like it's just not getting better.

    At times, I just want to scream, throw in the towel and quit trying to have any type of a normal life while I am in school. BUT I have such amazing friends and family that I just can't do that either... I don't see them **that** much as is.

    Any thoughts, suggestions, or just general "I feel your pain"?
    [COLOR="Magenta"]If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
    -Andy Rooney[/COLOR]

    [COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward [/COLOR]

    [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale[/COLOR]

  • Why can't you quit school? (Prepares for the boos)
    Or just lower your classload? The semester is almost over. Maybe you could choose to take one fewer class next semester.
    I say this because I spent three years busting bottom to get my BA because I felt like I was "supposed to." And I could have stayed in my high school fast food job and been where I am now, career-wise. I think you understand how I'm feeling, I'm sure Kentucky has the same kind of issues with the economy as Tennessee. Having a good job with reasonably high pay is worth cutting down on class hours, in my opinion. For the time being at least.
    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Little View Post
      Why can't you quit school? (Prepares for the boos)
      Or just lower your classload? The semester is almost over. Maybe you could choose to take one fewer class next semester.
      I say this because I spent three years busting bottom to get my BA because I felt like I was "supposed to." And I could have stayed in my high school fast food job and been where I am now, career-wise. I think you understand how I'm feeling, I'm sure Kentucky has the same kind of issues with the economy as Tennessee. Having a good job with reasonably high pay is worth cutting down on class hours, in my opinion. For the time being at least.
      Im not from either place but I totally agree...We kind of become obsessed with completing everything at once but class load can always be reduced, to make time for other things, like say a job...Especially in this crazy economy...

      I totally feel your pain...My parents were on my butt about college so I was there full time right outta high school - they also wanted me to be thin when marriage season came around so I was going to the gym as often as I could - both of them were also working at night so I had to be home on time every evening to take care of my little sisters and wait up for my parents to get home...and I also had a part time job to pay for college...it was a mess and I wish I could have put my foot down and done things differently...
      The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Little View Post
        Why can't you quit school? (Prepares for the boos)
        Or just lower your classload? The semester is almost over. Maybe you could choose to take one fewer class next semester.
        I say this because I spent three years busting bottom to get my BA because I felt like I was "supposed to." And I could have stayed in my high school fast food job and been where I am now, career-wise. I think you understand how I'm feeling, I'm sure Kentucky has the same kind of issues with the economy as Tennessee. Having a good job with reasonably high pay is worth cutting down on class hours, in my opinion. For the time being at least.
        I can't lower my course load anymore because there is a min hour requirement. And you never really know what a class is going to be like till a week or two in and then I can't get all my money back for the classes and at $650 a credit hour, I can't lose it either.

        I also don't **want** to quit school. I am looking forward to changing my career but while I am in school, I still have to work fulltime to support myself because I cant' afford to take out more loans than necessary and I don't have a spouse or family to help me take care of myself until then.
        [COLOR="Magenta"]If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
        -Andy Rooney[/COLOR]

        [COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward [/COLOR]

        [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale[/COLOR]

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Nats View Post
          I totally feel your pain...My parents were on my butt about college so I was there full time right outta high school - they also wanted me to be thin when marriage season came around so I was going to the gym as often as I could - both of them were also working at night so I had to be home on time every evening to take care of my little sisters and wait up for my parents to get home...and I also had a part time job to pay for college...it was a mess and I wish I could have put my foot down and done things differently...
          And just for background's sake. I am 28 years old and made a conscious decision to go back to school. I wasn't forced by anyone. I took 4 years off to think about it. I have 3 more semesters after this one. The economy is killing me because I am expected to work more hours to keep my job. I have looked for other jobs but I get paid REALLY well here and have benefits. I can't afford to pay for a place to live, my car, etc making half of what I make now or trying to wait tables or something without benefits and a steady income.

          I also only have a certain amount of years to complete my degree so I can't just take 2-3 years off and hope something changes, not to mention, my loans go out of deferment if I take time off.
          [COLOR="Magenta"]If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
          -Andy Rooney[/COLOR]

          [COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward [/COLOR]

          [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale[/COLOR]

          Comment


          • Law school is a funny sort of grad school. For other subjects, if you pay tuition "you're not doing it right." Are there any kind of TAships for law school?
            I made it through undergrad on loans, scholarships, and a part-time job. All by myself. I made $7,000 in 2008 and went to two foreign countries to finish my degree on that income. Obviously not everybody wants to live on rice and ketchup and instant dry milk in the ghettofabulous on-campus apartments, but it can be done. There may be a lot you're wasting money on because you think you can't go without it. Cable/satellite, new car with high insurance, internet (you can use the internet on campus,) going out to eat (cooking at home is probably 1/4th of the cost!) etc. You have to look at what you've got, since obviously I don't know what corners you've cut or not. If you have extra money you can calm down.
            <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Little View Post
              Law school is a funny sort of grad school. For other subjects, if you pay tuition "you're not doing it right." Are there any kind of TAships for law school?
              I made it through undergrad on loans, scholarships, and a part-time job. All by myself. I made $7,000 in 2008 and went to two foreign countries to finish my degree on that income. Obviously not everybody wants to live on rice and ketchup and instant dry milk in the ghettofabulous on-campus apartments, but it can be done. There may be a lot you're wasting money on because you think you can't go without it. Cable/satellite, new car with high insurance, internet (you can use the internet on campus,) going out to eat (cooking at home is probably 1/4th of the cost!) etc. You have to look at what you've got, since obviously I don't know what corners you've cut or not. If you have extra money you can calm down.
              Undergrad I didn't make much either, but right now, I already have monetary commitments that I can't get rid of at this point. A lease, a car payment, insurance, etc. I also have been trying to help out with my family some, etc. I cook at home a lot already since I don't have time to go out to eat. It's not an issue right now of what can be done. I can cut back on expenses a bit, but not to half my income and I can't change anything on most of the major expenses until they are paid off (my car, which is 3 years old) or until my lease is up (not till next August). I also have a roommate and to live on campus is the same cost as what I pay now rent-wise and I can't move home during the holidays/summers like I'd have to because I don't live in the city I'm from and work in.
              [COLOR="Magenta"]If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
              -Andy Rooney[/COLOR]

              [COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward [/COLOR]

              [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale[/COLOR]

              Comment


              • Something has to give. You have goals and are on your way to fullfilling them. Assuming work and school aren't on the table, are there ways you can combine some of the others areas in your life? Little's suggestion of saving by eating at home, could that be combined with socialising? Talk to your friends and set up a rotation of taking turns preparing dinner and eating together at each other's homes? Or getting your workout or exersize with freinds instead of exersizing and then seeing freinds?

                You are a wonderful woman, not WonderWoman! You can't do it all and do it well, virtually no one can. Enlist that great family and those good freinds to help you make it work?

                Comment


                • I remember grad school. The **most** stressful time of my life.

                  I was working full time, going to school full time, building a house and customizing myself, moving and dealing with a rather less than appreciative ex.

                  I never want to do that again. I remember some days I'd just wake up pis$ed knowing all I had to do that day and running on almost no sleep.

                  When push came to shove, I skimped on schoolwork and attendance. I let my exam grades and my performance when I was in class speak for itself...which won the leniency of many a professor. You may or may not have that opportunity.

                  If you've gotten this far, the worst is over, and you can make it through.

                  Good luck.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by OhThereYouAre View Post

                    I never want to do that again. I remember some days I'd just wake up pis$ed knowing all I had to do that day and running on almost no sleep.

                    That is EXACTLY how I feel. It's been stressful the entire time but I think after we had a bunch of layoffs and I was given this new position, it's increased my stress level exponentially. Suddenly, it was like, giving 100% at work wasn't enough. They expect 150%. I am hoping when the economy recovers a bit more that maybe 110% will be enough and I can breathe a bit.

                    I'm sure a lot of the frustration does come from lack of sleep, and the inability to just relax at times. I know I have it in me to do it. I just am deeply looking forward to a break at some point!
                    [COLOR="Magenta"]If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
                    -Andy Rooney[/COLOR]

                    [COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward [/COLOR]

                    [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale[/COLOR]

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by kygirl View Post
                      That is EXACTLY how I feel. It's been stressful the entire time but I think after we had a bunch of layoffs and I was given this new position, it's increased my stress level exponentially. Suddenly, it was like, giving 100% at work wasn't enough. They expect 150%. I am hoping when the economy recovers a bit more that maybe 110% will be enough and I can breathe a bit.

                      I'm sure a lot of the frustration does come from lack of sleep, and the inability to just relax at times. I know I have it in me to do it. I just am deeply looking forward to a break at some point!
                      Take a moment to reflect.

                      Think about your family and how helpful they've been.

                      Think about your friends and the good times you guys have, and their support.

                      Think about how you are able to pay your bills without worry, and live comfortably...warm and safe.

                      Think about how you will soon have so much freetime on your hands, you won't know what to do with yourself!

                      Think about your degree. That eventually will bring you financial rewards.

                      Life is easier to live when you put things in an appropriate perspective.

                      Good luck.

                      Comment


                      • Assuming you don't go to summer school, you have a year and a half left? This school year and next? Do you take summer off so you have a few months with just work to deal with? I admire your dedication but it does sound like you are fighting burn out? How critical is this job to your future? Do you see yourself staying in it after you pass the bar?

                        How employable will you be in your particular area of law?
                        Just wondering how does all this weigh in and compare? Sometimes when we get overwhelmed we lose our perspective and have a harder time keeping a sense of what is most important. We will assign equal importance to things that really aren't. How hard would it be to unload the car and pick up something cheaper? If the job isn't a keeper with a future is it worth the now extra hours, which allow you to pay for the car and other extras?

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by WildChild View Post
                          Assuming you don't go to summer school, you have a year and a half left? This school year and next? Do you take summer off so you have a few months with just work to deal with? I admire your dedication but it does sound like you are fighting burn out? How critical is this job to your future? Do you see yourself staying in it after you pass the bar?

                          How employable will you be in your particular area of law?
                          Just wondering how does all this weigh in and compare? Sometimes when we get overwhelmed we lose our perspective and have a harder time keeping a sense of what is most important. We will assign equal importance to things that really aren't. How hard would it be to unload the car and pick up something cheaper? If the job isn't a keeper with a future is it worth the now extra hours, which allow you to pay for the car and other extras?
                          Well, summer school for the law school is not the same as regular summer school. They offer a VERY limited number of classes at our school and even if I took a class every summer, it wouldn't have gotten me out earlier. I have considered taking one this summer, but they are only offering 4 classes because of funding so it depends and it won't affect it overall.

                          I don't see myself necessarily staying at my job forever, but everywhere else I'd go right now as a legal job would be paying me 1/3 of what I make hourly now and the positions are only available usually for 12-20 hours a week which again, won't pay the bills.

                          I still owe a decent amount on my car, so even if I traded it in, my month amount might decrease slightly but not enough for it to be efficient. That's just not a real feasible option right now. It also gets great gas mileage and I drive about 50 miles a day bc of work and school. (no, the bus or public transportation is not feasible at this time)

                          At this point, I am trying to save up some money so if I am lucky by this time next year, I can afford a job. I am paying off debt, cut out lots of extras every month, etc. but quitting my job is not an option. I live well but I share an apartment and drive a Hyundai, so I'm not exactly living the high life either
                          [COLOR="Magenta"]If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
                          -Andy Rooney[/COLOR]

                          [COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward [/COLOR]

                          [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale[/COLOR]

                          Comment


                          • i feel your pain. you are a strong woman and i admire your resilience. try to find some little thing that makes you feel good or relaxed, like a walk or bicycle ride or something. then do it regularly.

                            Comment

                            Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                            Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

                            Latest Posts in Our Forums

                            Collapse

                            • Reply to Naked attention

                              I always find it interesting how different and similar people are naked. It saddens me when people, especially women have body confidence issues, because...

                              Today, 01:33 AM By MrMr
                            • Fingers

                              .... Dgh

                              Today, 01:08 AM By MrMr
                            • Reply to PTSD

                              Hhdhnko

                              Yesterday, 11:35 PM By MrMr
                            • Reply to PTSD

                              Therapy and the open and willingness to accept charge has changed my life.

                              ??????Helping others is a sensation im sure everyone everyone...

                              Yesterday, 11:21 PM By MrMr
                            • Reply to Which is the best way to decrease weight?

                              Not a fan of "diets" but lost 1.5 stone in 2 months doing keto. Have viable abs for the first time in ages and actually feel pretty good. I...

                              Yesterday, 10:26 PM By MrMr

                            Latest Topics in Our Forums

                            Collapse

                            Working...
                            X